Noorur-rahman

Storm After Calm

"Okay!" She agreed him with the thought of doing it practical, unlike before that she only listened and paid little attention. Though, she still want to talk her therapist about her dream.

However, it's Sunday. A no work day for her therapist, so all of them had patiently or not, wait for Monday to come. Her therapist, Ms. Sarah had told her that some of her memories may returned in form of a dream. Though, what she dreamt of last night, wasn't something vividly clear, it's very vague. But in her skin it felt so real. 

Sunday roll away in despair of silence for Noor and the people around her. Nadia had to returned to school that evening to prepare for her Monday classes. So did Nabilah went back home.

Isma'il avoided Noor all day, for he's almost certain of the dream she'd. And with that in his mind, they only greetings each other, briefly. Especially, since she didn't personally brought up the issue of her nightmare to him.

....

"Help me, Hajiya, Help. Baba Salisu, stop, Hajiya Help, Hajiya." That's how it began again on Monday night, the wailing voice of Noor.  

Despite the amount of du'as she was told to read before going to bed. And she did say them, over and over again, until she unconsciously fell asleep. But it came back, this time clearer than ever.

There she's, almost remembering the color of her dress that evening. The light blue gown with big white polka dot  that abbah had gotten her when he visited Lagos that year. It's one of her beautiful dress. But then amidst that beautiful dream of her dress, something unexpected happened. Her dream suddenly take a drastic turn, when her beautiful dress turned all bloody.

Noorur-rahman woke up, yelping and hyperventilating. For she remember, she remember how bloody it turned. She can feel the pain as if it happening all over again. The burning smell of her dress that Hajiya burnt filled up her nostrils as if it were real.

Her chest becomes so heavy as she cries in agony. "Oh Allah why's this happening again?" Her cries only increases to her unanswered question, for was alone until her stepmother braced her with company.

Aunt Jamila wasn't able to sleep that night for she have seem how scared and horrified Noor was the last night. With the addition of how Noor expressed her fear during the day. So she stayed close, just in case.

When she entered the room, Noor's in a worst state. Auntie Jamila hold her hands first, then gently and carefully engulf her in to a hug. Noor sobs for a while and Jamila allowed her.

And just when She thought Noor has calm down, the wounded girl stares at her with an uneven emotion. Tracing her thought back being judge by everyone and broke in tears again. The look in her stepmother's eyes told her it'll happened all over again and she began, her voice cracking in the process.

"I promise, it wasn't my fault. I didn't do anything to provoke him, I never wanted that to happened. No, I swear I didn't, I didn't do that on purpose." It's like she's ten years again, saying what she'd really wanted to tell Hajiya for saying she wanted it. For that moment, Noor forgets it wasn't Hajiya Atika in front of her.

Though Auntie Jamila was confused to what Noor's saying, all she could do is console her, telling her what she wanted to hear all these years. "Yes, it isn't your fault, Noorur-rahman. You didn't provoke that and you never wanted it to happened. So no one should blame you for what you didn't cause or intended to." That make Noor to break into a guts wrecking sobs, crying wholeheartedly and letting all that pain to be wash away by her tears.

Yes, even Jamila could not hold her tears, so she cry with Noor for the reason she don't even know. All she know is that Noor was sorry for whatever it was. She never wanted it. But had to live with the guilt.

The two had their moment, something much bigger than Jamila had thought. Before morning they both have a fair share of headache. Noor's slept after her breakdown, while Jamila watched her,  anxious for any further outcomes.

However, when two were done with their fajr prayer, Noor held Jamila's hand as she stand to leave the prayer mat. "Auntie, I don't think that's actually a dream. It wasn't just a dream. Rather, it's something I really try so hard to hide. And it's taken a lot from me."

Auntie Jamila's eyes was already filled with tears as if though she knew what Noor's going to tell her. "I remember it well now, this isn't the side effects of the drugs I'm taking, or my excessive thinking. Salisu,...... He raped me." Noor knew it's now or never, she's tired of keeping that to herself. Tired of living with the fear of someone finding out against her will.

"I was only ten, but Hajiya said I wanted it. She said her son will never do such a thing if I didn't provoke, but by Allah I didn't. I had no idea what that's. Hajiya shut me from ever telling anyone. She said abbah is going to leave if I ever speak. And I was so afraid of being left behind, after all no one ever wanted me other him. While I live in fear of not being wanted, Salisu only got away with a slap on the face from his mother." By then even Auntie Jamila was in the pool of her tears. Sitting helplessly in front of Noor.  And she couldn't make any articulate sound. So she hug Noor as gently as she can.  How could they?

She remember reprimanding her for talking back to Hajiya, when it's the old lady's fault Noor was the way she was.

"Why are crying with me, though?" Noor asked a bit surprise.

"Because I misunderstood you. Because I didn't know. Because you're too small. Because all these years you blamed yourself and carried that burden alone, for what those monster did." She wiped her tears, taking Noor hands into hers. "Noor, that's never your fault, you're just a child and also their responsibility. They're the responsible ones and they're supposed to have taken care of you, Noor. I'm sorry you when through that alone. I'm sorry that you have been forced to see them after what they have done to you."

It had been long since Auntie Jamila heard of something so despicable and inhuman. She's angry beyond word could she describe and sad. She regretted ever being nice to Hajiya. She remember the first time she met Salisu at the Danja's and how he'd fondly talked about Noor, telling her how the girl grow up in front of their eyes.

When she left Noor and went back to the room she share with her husband, she's lost in despair. One look at her and one could tell right away that she isn't alright. All she could think of is how those two monsters worked together and ruined the life of a young girl.

"Did you sleep with Noor?" Her husband asked her as he's get ready for work.

"Yes, she woke up again. But this time, her dream was vivid." She look up at him her eyes filled tears. "I'm afraid it's not just a dream." Abbah only stares at her, for he too have a strong hunch it's something bigger than a bad dream.

Auntie Jamila didn't know how to break that news to him. The news that would explained his daughter's stolen smile. How could she tell him that his own brother raped his daughter. How?

........

Assalamu alaikum!

So guys, One more to go!

Who's else is excited for the ending?

Time to comment and vote for this long journey. It'd been a while since we started this 😅 😅 😅.

Bye bye for now.