Project You

Chapter 42

I was dramatic, maybe, but going into the New Year sick, was to me, a sign, it was a sign that this year would probably be as bad as the last few years of my life had been.

Or maybe I was an idiot.

Since I was sick with the flu, I spent my New Years eve time alone, asleep, in my childhood bed, so of course, in my own house. My mother was out with that man, that man, being my father and my boyfriend was with his family, and I didn't want to go anywhere because I felt like shit. So I was at the house.

I stayed with Karsen after Christmas until I got sick four days later, probably from the cold December weather which was normal for me. So he dropped me back at home at the perfect time, at a time specifically when my parents were not here.

I kissed him, unlocked the door, told him i'd be okay a million times, and then locked the door behind me.

As soon as the clock hit 12am on January 1st, he called me, and we spoke for a long time.

He said he wanted to come to me. I told him not to. We had a repeat of that for almost two hours between nonsensical conversation.

I only told him to stay right where he was because I knew he needs to spend some time with his parents, and since his family came all the way here for that and would be leaving on the second of January, I knew it was important for him to be there.

Just because my family wasn't exactly altogether, doesn't mean his didn't have to be.

And the rest of the week went by in a blur. My parents and I continued to act like we all didn't exist, merely passing by each other like ghosts. I didn't know how to feel about that.

I saw my nona once, we spoke about everything, she cleared up everything, and I knew as much as i'd been angry, theres no one I could forgive faster than my nona.

She was my lifeline. The reason for those beats in my heart.

Of course she knitted me the most tacky scarf ever for Christmas, a kind of scarf that should've made me retract my forgiveness, but, I only told her it was hideous, but I still loved it with every fibre of my being.

She took the compliment mixed with an insult because she knew her granddaughter was a bitch with a soft spot for her and she loved me that way.

Similar to the man who sat across from me in the diner right at this very minutes, his hands beneath his chin as he ogles me, a small smile lingering on his lips as if he was thinking about something sweet.

My eyebrows pull together the longer I look at him, sipping my tea slowly.

He hasn't blinked for awhile.

Im worried.

I slowly lower the teacup onto the table, licking over my upper lip before I speak, "Is there something wrong?"

He sighs like a lovesick puppy and I roll my eyes, a small grin forming on my face. "Its just such a nice day to get a perfect mark on an art assignment that i've spent months doing with the best partner in the world."

"Damn right it is." I say, leaning back with a smile.

Months of sculpting, painting, being around the pain in the ass in front of me and a fuck load of sweat, tears and sleepless nights experience artist blocks and yet here we were with a project so beautiful it made me think of him every time I looked at it.

I feel him lean in, pulling my leg with his own, beneath the table. "You sure you're feeling better?" He asks me, sitting up and closer, showing his concern and I nod, bringing my tea cup to my lips. "Yeah, its just the flu, I told you."

He swallows, nodding as he looks to the side and away from me. I on the other hand, sip my tea in the nice quiet café, staring at the handsome man in front of me till he breaks the perfect moment by opening his sweet but extremely talkative mouth that makes me want to slap him sometimes.

I still love him though.

"Were you feeling nauseous?" He asks, eyeing me like a detective on a case and I shrug, taking a bite of the cookie, "Not more than usual."

"Any body pains? Headaches?"

I snort, playing with my phone buttons, "Not more than usual." I say once again before looking up at him, seeing his eyes set on me again and the crease in his brow makes me wonder why he is thinking so damned hard.

That is till I put one and two together, and all the questions he has been giving me, the sudden tension in his shoulders. I knew exactly what was up.

He's wondering if I'm pregnant.

I blink at the thought alone.

I can't even imagine that.

"Im not pregnant." I tell him, "I get sick sometimes when its cold weather, plus I took the plan B in less than 24 hours."

His shoulders sag, not like his unhappy, but more like its relieving for him to have this information to jog his memory again.

He nods, playing with a fork distractedly, "I'd love for us to be parents but we're young, you know?"

"You want to be parents?" I blurt out in shock, staring at him and he looks up at me, confusion taking over his facial expression. "Yeah like, you know, two years from now or something."

My eyes widen on its own accord. Two years?

He doesn't seem to notice the tension grow in my body language because he continues to speak, "I want kids of my own, I like children."

I blink.

I stare.

I don't know what to say about that because i'm not even sure if i'd ever want children. And plus, we've never even shared the three special words with one another yet here we were speaking about kids... together?

Karsen. Adrienne. And kids? Like, drooling and snotty and teary kids who wake you up in the middle of the night?

My mind feels like its going haywire, and so I just try to calm down, to breathe slowly. Its just talk, nothing set in stone. Just a simple conversation.

I feel his hand on mine only after I hear him speak. "You okay Addy?" He asks me, and I look up and away from the table i'd blanked out staring at, he searches my face and I force a smile for his sake, merely nodding.

He'd worry too much if I told him this conversation made me confused and a bit... scared, uncomfortable? I don't know.

I stand up, our hands falling away from each others.

"Let's go before we're late." I tell Karsen, completely ignoring the clock on the wall that indicated we had about half an hour before we had to actually leave to make it on time for our first lecture of the day.