Project You

Chapter 21

Karsen

Going to the carnival yesterday was the worst idea i've had since I was born, because of course, it fucked with me completely, throughly, fully.

A lot more than i'd like to admit. 

It changed so much. It made me realize so damn much.

It fucked me over more than anything.

And I was a confused heap of human man now.

All I could think about was Adrienne, more than fucking usual too which was not at all a good sign,

Her. Her. Her. Her.

Like a little ringing sound.

And I didn't like her that way.

I couldn't.

She didn't like me. She didn't care about me the way I cared about her. I couldn't let myself be okay with liking her. I couldn't admit it. But fuck the carnival was a complete flip of the coin, her smile, her eyes, the way she laughed and the way she showed me she cared about me in the car, the questions she asked, trying not to be intrusive, her hair, the scent of her shampoo , and her cute jump and gasp when we won the stuffed animal.

The way her lips look, the way she dresses, the way she turns me down every time with that sexy glare, her smile, fuck, her smile, that smile she only ever gave me.

I needed to kiss that smile, to taste that smile, I wanted more from that smile, more than to just look at it, I wanted to have so much more from it.

I knew who Adrienne was long before we were partnered for the assignment, and of course I did. Because we were in the same class and college since the beginning, since freshman year.

To me she was always just the pretty girl who i'd never heard talk and painted so beautifully that it looked like she'd thrown her heart out on all her pieces of canvas.

It wasn't enough to make me fall for her, but it was enough for me to be absolutely fucking over the moon when she was placed as my project partner because she was fucking amazing, and as shallow as it was, she was beautiful, and I liked looking at her, so part of me really didn't mind spending hours on hours working with her.

I'd seen her art around, she never went to the college exhibitions it was at but a piece of her was always in there because it deserved to be.

But now when I knew her, talked to her, spent time with her even apart from the project we were assigned to work on, it made it difficult to say how I felt for her.

I was so confused. So damn confused. Harmless flirting, glances, stares. It meant little at first, but then she started slowly pulling her walls down and I couldn't help but like what I began to see over those walls.

And I think I no longer just wanted to look over the wall, I wanted to jump over to the other side and stay there for as long as she let me.

Truth was, I had started to grow the mixed feelings for her since the day she'd sat in front of the coffee shop waiting for me with my favorite coffee and a cookie i'd never tried before between her hands, the day she'd rambled on about how shitty she was to me, how she told me black coffee is crap and the one she's holding is cold but its okay if I liked it because she wouldn't judge me off my coffee preference.

I remember the way I couldn't stop smiling because I loved her voice she'd barely used and it was the first time i'd heard it properly and she was rambling about fucking coffee but it sounded like poetry to me.