Project You

Chapter 12

It was another day today, and of course I woke up in the worst fucking mood possible.

Unsurprisingly.

And Karsen with a K? He was the literal opposite.

Unsurprisingly.

"Hey you."

Oh fucking hell. He was like a golden retriever but instead of being a cute floppy haired dog who liked belly rubs he was a six foot, possibly taller, handsome man who just smiled a lot.

I look up and away from my sandwich just to see Karsen staring at me as I sit on a bench and eat my food and his smiling like he didn't just interrupt what I had going on, which was nothing, but nothing is still the something, and he'd interrupted my, nothing.

I wanted to stand up, to just get up and walk away, maybe go off to my car and sit there to finish my lunch but I was refraining from doing so, I could manage to be a decent human being for a little while longer.

So instead of leaving I settled for looking away and back to my food after a single nod at him, eating without another word of exchange on my end because I just wanted to be quiet sometimes.

When I was in that mood I didn't want to talk and I didn't want anyone to talk to me, its like both my body and mouth was too lazy to converse with anyone.

No noise, no speaking, just sile-

"How're you?"

This man.

I wanted to say, im horrible Karsen. I wanted to tell him, Im tired. To say, Im hungry. Maybe slip in, Im lonely. Something along then lines of, my head hurts. To say, I want to be alone.

I don't want to be here. I want to sleep. Im so exhausted.

I didn't say any of that out loud though.

I wanted to say im quite literally horrible, but when I finally find my voice and open my mouth the words, Im fine, come tumbling out instead and it leaves a bigger hole in my chest than the one i'd had minutes ago.

I had the opportunity to speak up, but I didn't take it.

Unsurprisingly.

He hums in acknowledgment to my words, sitting beside me, shoving his hands into his jackets pockets and I side eye him, up and down then back up again.

He looked handsome today.

He looked the same everyday though.

Handsome. Everyday.

He was so annoying.

I look away, bringing my legs up on the bench with me and cross them beneath me as I take another bite of my sandwich.

I stare ahead mindlessly, watching as people walked around here, spoke, laughed, threw balls and even shoved their tongues down one another's throats.

I could see everything from this tiny hill above from the old colleges football field, they don't use it anymore since they'd made a much bigger one, and now during lunch it was always taken up by people just to hang out.

"You don't talk much."

I nod at that. Its true, I was never a talker, not even when I was young, but as I grew, it just got lesser and less.

"I talk a lot." He admits, but its not much of any admittance if we both already knew it.

"I've gathered that." I mumble dryly between bites of my sandwich, so soft that it sounds like Im talking more to myself than him as I look down to my water between my legs and I pick it up, opening the cap and take a few huge gulps.