Sliding Doors - 2 (English Version)

Chapter 91

Josephine

"Hardin is totally irrational! He makes impulsive decisions without realising that they will have consequences!" Chance comments, reading the script.

"Exactly! He is so afraid of losing Tessa that he makes one after another but she is always there for him!" I reply.

By now I know the characters very well, I know what they think and how they behave.

"But now there is a breaking point, a natural stop that should have been there long ago!" Commented Hero "It's only fair that everyone grows up and works out their inner demons before they can be together again!"

"Yeah..." I absent-mindedly scroll through the pages of the script.
It's huge!
We're going to film two movies back to back and it's like one big, complicated movie!
We don't know where one starts and the other one ends basically.

I think about me, the story of me and Hero, how many times I messed it up just because I was scared.
I have a hard time trusting people and even if I do trust him, there's always a little voice inside me that questions everything.
Especially because every time we go away, me in LA and him in London, something always happens that makes me doubt our long-distance relationship.

I'm never 100 per cent calm but I'm trying, I'm trying to deal with situations instead of running away as I would feel like doing.

It's easier isn't it?

There's a problem, you run away and the problem magically disappears.
Or rather: that's how I thought it worked!

Too bad problems don't disappear and somehow they always find you!

If we talk about love, it is totally unfair how I behave towards Hero.

I love him madly and every time he has to chase me in my delusions!
I have had bad experiences in the past, situations where I trusted a guy 100% and then he literally destroyed me and stomped on my heart.

I have had my heart broken so many times that the only way to protect myself was to learn to always doubt everything and everyone.
It still hurts though, I have to admit.

It hurts me and those around me.
That is why I am working on being more thoughtful and less impulsive.

Hero is teaching me so much!
He has never given up, he has always fought for me, even if he has made a few missteps himself but always thinking of my good!

I criticised Ella so much when I met her years ago and then I basically acted like her!
Absurd!

"Are you okay?" Hero touches my arm hinting at a smile.

"Yeah, sure!" I smile at him too "I was just thinking..."

He takes my hand from under the table and shakes it.
How do I deserve such a great guy?

He would move heaven and earth for me, go against everything and everyone!

I have to find a way to show him how much I love him and I have to stop being afraid, at least with him!

Maybe I have an idea!

I could talk to reception and get them to move me to the room next to his, as Castille had proposed!

I'm not going to sleep away from him for the time we have left to spend here!
A smile arises spontaneously on my face. I think it's a brilliant idea!

"Are you still lost in your own world?" He squeezes my hand tighter and I return my focus to him.

"Yes, sorry!" I smile shaking my head "I'm a bit distracted!"