Watching a human's death reminds us of a falling star; one of a million lights in a vast sky that flares up for a brief moment only to disappear into the endless night forever.
"How else would we know the worth of what we were given?"
✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: - :...
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Yoon Min once read in a book that there are losses that rearranges the world. Deaths that change the way you see everything, grief that tears everything down. Pain that transports you to an entirely different universe, even while everyone else thinks nothing really has changed.
She experienced those emotions to the core. She faced them every day, every night; slowly changing with the wind of time.
After the death of Seokjin, she was starting to lose faith and hope from all the things she used to respect before. She saw the world monochrome, colorless and boring. Her heart never healed from the deepest scar and wounds. She didn’t have anyone by her side, she didn’t have to care for anybody. Autumn days seemed shorter, dark nights lingered longer.
The only prevailing thought through night and day was he was gone. He was no longer there to embrace her, to kiss her, to protect her from the smallest things, no longer his laughter echoed in the house, his touches faded away into dusk. Sometimes it seemed like he was never there, never ever alive to breathe in this world. Only memories and flashbacks remained, those were securely protected inside her heart.
When she lost him, she lost herself as well. Maybe not to death, but to the feeling of being alive despite being lifeless. She lost herself to black darkness, neverending nightmares, sorrowful memories, remorseful tears. She was never herself after his death.
Until she found a tiny miracle. Seokjin's baby.
All of a sudden, her life took a sharp turn to a different route. She was taking small steps through the darkness, guided by her grieving heart. The road of grief was too long as it stretched lifelong. But finally, she saw a light at the end of the road. A light to march towards, a hope to grasp.
There had been days at the beginning, when the wound was too raw and bloody that the thought of him brought floods of memories, consuming her mind for the rest of the day. When the littlest things triggered the bittersweet flashbacks, his plump lips and heavenly voice, the love in his eyes. There had been days like this when she cried and wailed his name, clinging onto the yearning for his arms to wrap around her and kiss her forehead. Days when she kept apologizing like a mantra and stare at his photos. She wondered sometimes how could she ever move ahead without being slammed by his memories.
But slowly with the turn of months, she was learning to let go. She was growing to let go of that pleading aching weak part of her that wished that she would open her eyes and it was all a nightmare. And she was able to let go, because of the child.
The child was growing steadily in Jisoo's womb. She made a great sacrifice by hiding from the world and rejecting any offers given to her. She only focused on the child and on herself, as she was ready to repent for her sins. And Yoon Min on the other hand, grew excited as every second passed. She was already in love with the child, inspite of not carrying it inside her.
