Chasing The Burn

Chapter 46

I put my armor on, show you how strong how I am
I put my armor on, I'll show you that I am

The world is not a peaceful place.

People die. They get murdered; they die on the battlefields. An average of 47 people die each day in the US alone while the world just looks the other way.

Life goes on. With or without you.

Sienna groans loudly as the news anchor keeps babbling on. She curses the hospital for only having three channels on the damn TV and now she's stuck listening to Sky News.

Kelly had to leave her to go work for OFI again, Jay's at work and Maggie has been running in and out of the room. The hospital is incredibly busy. It's summer time which means the college students are having bonfires and pool parties, therefore the hospital gets flooded with overdoses. 

I'm unstoppable
I'm a Porsche with no brakes
I'm invincible

Her mind wanders when she's alone, and she is scared of where it might go. She's trying to stay strong for the people that she loves, but truth is... she's not doing too well. Being alone in a hospital room with nobody to talk to can bring you to the darkest places in your mind. Places you want to bury.

Yeah, I win every single game
I'm so powerful
I don't need batteries to play

There was a time in her life that she loved Antonio Dawson, for a reason still unbeknownst to her. He treated her like an angel the first few years, and then she got the news that she will never become a mother and he flipped the switch.

Then he held a gun to her head, and then he shot her.

He could have killed her.

Now, staring at the message on her phone, she's suddenly angry because she wants to bury him and he still won't let her.

Hi Sienna. I know you don't want to talk to Antonio, but he really wants to talk to you. I'm begging you to come to the prison when you get released. Antonio wants to make amends. Love always, Gabby.

Anger is coursing through her veins as she slams the phone down on the counter. She suddenly can't take the babbling of the woman on TV anymore and switches the channel to the last channel they have available. Where is Netflix when you fucking need it?

Sienna needs to get out of this bed, or she's going to go crazy.

Swinging her feet over the side of the bed, she slowly gets up and rests her weight on her shaking legs. She knows she's not allowed to get out of bed without help but nobody is going to keep her in bed anymore. Her mental health is suffering, and she needs fresh air to stop herself from spiraling.

I'm so confident
Yeah, I'm unstoppable today
Unstoppable today
Unstoppable today
Unstoppable today
I'm unstoppable today

With the amazing help of her drip still attached to her arm, she slowly but surely starts walking out of the room and into the hallway. 

When she was asleep, she started reliving memories of her past that she tried to keep buried. 

Lance; her parents; the war. She buried them a long time ago, she hid her dark past from the world. She hid the fact that she was still suffering from PTSD from everyone, including Kelly and Jay. 
The truth is, however brave and strong and powerful you are, you can still crack from the pressure and hate and trauma the world throws at you every single day of your life.

Sienna longs for a call from her mother. She sometimes sees herself still as a little girl that years for her mother's love, and in a perfect world her mother would console her, and help her through the trouble. But she never did, she never cared about her daughter.