Lost, Hopeless, and Destroyed (A One Direction/Niall Horan Fanfic)

Chapter 1 - Messed Up

*Melody's POV*

I felt light headed and dizzy as soon as I opened my eyes. It was a feelings I got used to because I had felt it everytime I woke up. Almost everyday actually. I was a mess. This was because of my anorexia and on occasions, bulimia. I self harmed too. Cut my legs and arms. I pulled my hair out too. Well not really. I just when I start brushing my hair with my hands, using my fingers, I just keep stroking my hair until hair came out. It was weird. But I couldn't stop and I didnt know why or how. All I knew that I was a fuck up, with a fucked up family, and a fucked up life.

Hi, my name is Melody. My mother and father I guess named me after 'music' idk.. My parents we're musicians before they died a couple of years ago. They died in a car crash. And I was supposed to be their 'perfect little daughter'. Sorry that it didn't work out like you guys wanted.. I was never really close to them but I always will love them and it hurts everyday still to know that their gone. I started living on my own when I was 16. I got passed laws and child protection services. Idk how but i did it. Anyways, I'm 18 years old. I have long blonde and brown hair. I love make-up. I love One Direction, Demi Lovato, Taylor Swift, Katy Perry, Linkin Park, Blood On The Dance Floor, Paramore and more. I love music and always listen to it.

I sat up from my bed and walked into the bathroom. I reached under the sink. I go for the roof of the bottom cabnet. I feel a box taped onto the roof of the cabnet in the back upper corner. I called it my release box. It contained my small and large shiny silver razors. How I felt about them I couldn't explain. They were my best friend. They were there for me when i needed them most. Everytime.

I suddenly got dizzy again felt nauseous. I fell over on the rug that was placed in the middle of the cold tiled floor. I soon as i fall, i wait and check where I am and try to get back up. As I do, i realize once again, how seriously messed up i am. My anxiety level rose in seconds. I thought about how no one would want to be friends with a freak. I was just so messed up in the head and everywhere else. I had depression, anxiety, a eating disorder, i self harmed, ADHD, ODD and much more. I had no where to go. These things were my releases. I needed them, and no matter how hard I tired to stop, I always went back to it. I'm nothing but a Lost, Hopeless, and Destroyed girl.