The Binding String

S I X T Y - O N E

Janani!

The word is originated from Sanskrit language which defines about a woman who gives birth to a baby. A birthing is a whole beautiful process of bringing a new life in the world and nurturing it. Our society believes motherhood is a blessing and completes a woman life. Motherhood is considered virtue for every women and these believes are carried from generation to generation but what if someone wants to stand apart? What if someone don't want to fit into the norms made by society. Ishita Bhalla is one such woman who doesn't believe to walk on the  path of motherhood paved by the nature, she had her firm reasons regarding same but she was forced to follow the traditions and believes because unfortunately she is a part of the one. Pregnancy termed as the overwhelming beautiful phase for a women, her sister and friend believed so. Each day comes up with new adventures and experience which is worth to cherish, the joy and happiness all around but she cannot say same for herself. She was promised to adore with love and adoration but all she found herself alone and scared at every step.

The day she discovered her pregnancy.

The followed up day when she expected her husband warm embrace beside her but met with cold sheets.

And following all the days when she was left alone to fight with herself in between trying to adjust herself in her new life.

Ishita was sitting on the visitor chair in the Dr. Kiran Thakkar clinic, for her regular health checkup. She kept looking at the posters hung on the wall some of pregnant women and other of small babies. Those innocent smiles can melt anyone heart but didn't impacted her, Ishita averted her eyes and startes to play with her nails waiting for doctor to show up. The doctor seem busy but her assistant showed up and started to measure her blood pressure. She soon came with syrenge and Ishita frew a sharp breath looking at the needle, she is phobic with needles and need someone to hold her hand.

But this time no one was beside her, her heart crunched another time. She wanted someone to hold her not today but at every moment of this tough phase but her reality teared her up. She bit her lower lip as the assistant softly pierced needle in her veins and drew blood from her body.

"Doctor madam will see you soon." Ishita hummed in the response and Dr. Kiran soon showed up. The middle aged lady passed her a warm smile and started to read the BP figure written by her intern. She asked Ishita to accompany her in the sonography room for scans. Her scan happened soon and she called back to chamber.

"Ishita Beta has anyone accompanied you?" Ishita denied nervously looking at the doctor anxiously. "You're reports are not looking promising, you're weak and looked stressed. How will you survive this pregnancy beta? Are you facing some issues? Is Santhosh forcing you for gender of baby?"

"No...no Aunty everything is fine. Is that i was never prepared to be a mother."

"I can understand dear but we cannot completely rely on oral contraceptives. But Raman often used to discuss about your health and if you're fit to become mother or not.

Is he happy? Is he bothering you?"

Ishita eyes well up with unshed tears, she hate him and miss him  at the same time. He put her in this difficult situation but not for once cared to consider her likings or disliking. She hate him for not being with her when she need him most, she hate him for putting in an inevitable situation.

"He is Aunty. He is just busy with his works. You tell me what I have to do."

"Try to be happy. Only a cheerful to be mom can keep her baby happy. I am prescribing you some multi vitamins as well. Take care baccha!" Ishita nodded her head and took the prescription, she adjusted her dupatta on her tummy and exited the cabin. The corridors of the clinic was crowded, she kept her pace slow and walked towards pharmacy to bring the medicines, her eyes laid on full term pregnant lady who probably accompained along her husband, beaming with happiness. A small smile crept on her lips looking at the two, the way man was patting his wife forehead and wiping down the sweat, holding his wife hand. She helplessly looked at her reflection, she and her baby are alone today even after having so many people's beside her.