An Idol's Secret | SKZ Fanfic ♡

Chapter 76

FLASHBACK (Narrator's POV)

He held Jaehyun by the collar, he just couldn't stop himself from feeling so betrayed at everything. That man was the cause of all of his current angers, everything was his fault. If he had never existed in the first place, would he have been happier?

If Jaehyun never existed in the first place, Rose would've never decided to take the job, he would've never met her again.

"I'm sorry!! I'm sorry!!"

"Do you think the word "sorry" will fix anything?!" tears started to well up in Bang Chan eyes, knowing very well that he, himself, was right, sorry just wouldn't cut it for him.

The blood smeared against Jaehyun's face and even onto his hands, which took him by surprise, as he was finally realizing what he was truly doing. Bang Chan dropped him to the floor, feeling absolutely disgusted with himself.

He really wasn't any better than him or anyone else; He felt like a monster.

The world that he once knew was starting to get a lot weirder than before, the anger possessing turned into something he couldn't describe...a sort of anguishing and self-destructive feeling. It started to turn dizzy and overturned.

Being able to only hold on by the wall that was beside him, his eyes slowly turned dark as he begged them to stay awake.

Guilt was crawling throughout his body while Jaehyun looked back at him with a devious smirk, as he looked towards the blood on Bang Chan's hand; That was his own blood that he was looking at.

"We're more alike than you think, Chris." he flinched at hearing him call his name like that, then scoffing after processing the bold statement he had the audacity to say.

"You wish."

"Can't you see? Do you really think this all worth it? Do you think by causing a big scene will, in term, make her love you?"

"I'd ask the same question to you." he just didn't understand why he would make such a stupid question, of course it was worth it, yet Jaehyun knew very well what type of question he was asking and what type of response he was going to get.

"I guess we're both just stupid then, we're just one step closer of becoming a monster like Taeyong became."

"You're becoming the thing she fears the most, Chan, a monster." that sentence struck to him the most, knowing fully well that was Jaehyun's full intention and that he didn't care whether or not he was a monster for doing what he was doing right now, but for him, he did care.

He started to wipe off the blood off of his face, glancing back at him with a cocky smile, barring his teeth at him.

"You know.. sometimes I don't get you, you seem like the world's most stupidest man alive, yet sometimes it looks like you know more than me!!" he laughed, while trying to lightly fix his hair from all that shaking around it had been through, yet it wasn't really salvable without a good hairbrush or blowdryer.

"What?"

"You don't get it, do you? I'll make it simpler for you then."

"I've loved Rose for over five years now, I'm not going to give up on her so easily." Bang Chan then grabbed him by the collar, yet he seemed completely unfazed by this.

"You really are incredible, you just won't die out." he was having the sudden urge to beat him up once more, yet he decided to calm down and think it through, as that was what Jaehyun wanted out of him, anger. He was falling into his traps and he was making fun of him for it, he wasn't about to dive in deeper. He knew very well that he was only doing this make himself even more like the victim, like the better person.

Yet everyone except for Rose didn't believe sh*t of what he was trying to make himself to be, yet were their opinions really what mattered to Jaehyun?

END OF FLASHBACK (Narrator's POV)

"I'm sorry...I'm sorry, I just don't know what is going on with me anymore." she cried, as his tears that were forming, started to shed like rapid wildfire.

"I want to be with you, I want to hold onto you so f*cking badly, yet I can't, I don't know what's wrong with me."

"I don't want to feel anyone's embrace if it's not yours." she slowly wrapped her hands around his waist, making him fully stop in his tracks, while he could hear a small weeping sound coming from behind him...she was crying.

Yet he couldn't reciprocate it, he just didn't know what to say, how to feel, nor what to do.

"I'm sorry for loving you, I'm sorry for getting attached to you, I never wanted for this to happen, I didn't want to become so selfish for you." "I'm sorry for loving you" those were the words that hurt him the most, did she really mean this?

He looked back to look at her, yet she just couldn't pull herself together, she didn't dare to even glance back at him, feeling absolutely petrified in finding out his reaction. The only thing that was left to do was to let go.

Bang Chan slowly let go of her, as that sad smile of hers grew intensely, knowing fully well that they were just not meant for each other,.

This was for the better of both of them, this was only proving how much she cared for a guy like him. Yet why was she still having this god awful ache in her heart.

"Just go, don't feel sorry for me, think about yourself for once!! You're a good guy, you deserve better!!" she cheerfully said while smiling at him, but he just wouldn't leave her alone, making them have an awkward stare and silence.

Rose looked ahead of him, wondering that if by following the path below them, would lead to her members, maybe that was why he had stopped. She decided to continue walking towards that path, turning around to have one final look at him, this time having a genuine smile on her.

"So long and goodnight!!" she waved goodbye, turning her back to him and was going to go on her way to seek her members, until a pair of hands grabbed her own, intertwining them together.

"I don't want to let you go." he whispered into her ear as he hugged her tightly. Finally she felt safe in his arms, she hadn't felt this feeling for a while now.

"So, this is love?" she chuckled, she had forgotten such wonderful feeling and she wasn't even sure why. Rose finally understood why people did such things for this feeling, why Dahyun was the way she was with Hyunjin and why Hyunjin loved her so much.

She finally understood what it meant by living without no worries.

"Hmmm, maybe?" he laughed while pulling her closer towards him, all while having a huge grin on his face.

A hissing sound then could be heard, taking them both by surprise. They stopped what they were doing, only to find a black cat that was hissing at them. She looked at it in confusion, wondering what they had done for the cat to become so agitated at them, while Bang Chan was too busy focusing on something else.

He looked at it like if he had seen a ghost, which ultimately made her curious and so she decided to see what was going on...it was Jaehyun, who kept waving at the two while running down the street, not even bothering to look towards the sides.

The cat kept hissing louder and louder, as they both could hear the car speeding faster and faster, yet Jaehyun paid no attention to it, only running towards the two.

Rose screamed at him, begging him to stop this madness, yet he wouldn't listen and just continued running towards them, until he stopped once he saw the car's light and she swore that she could see a slight smirk on his face, muttering the words:

"I'm free, come and get me."