Chapter 125

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Lisa

"What are you doing here?" she demands. Her voice is not unkind, but firm.

"Is Jennie here?" I ask instead. I think my question confirms the reasons behind my visit.

She narrows her eyes at me. "What's it to you?"

"I want to see her," I say. "What happened? Is she all right?"

"She's fine," Jisoo answers, her tone clipped and direct. "She's asleep, actually. But I'll tell her you stopped by."

I suspect she's lying. She tries to shut the door in my face but I quickly stick my hand forward and stop her. Her widened eyes wordlessly seek mine as they ask me what the fuck I'm doing.

"Lisa..." she says warningly. I fear she may be seconds away from calling the cops. I'm getting desperate.

"Please, Jisoo. Just give me five minutes," I beg.

"I can't, Lisa."

"Please..."

"Hold on." She shuts the door and my heart stops. My thoughts race between fear and excitement as I consider the alternatives: she's either locked me out for good or she's going to remove the chain and let me inside.

When the door opens wide I nearly collapse in relief, but she quickly ushers me aside as she joins me in the hallway. The door clicks shut quietly behind her.

"Look, Lisa," she begins. "You're a real selfish fuck. You know that?"

I'm not really surprised we're having this conversation. I expected it to happen eventually, what with her being with Hae-in and me still pining over her best friend and all.

"I know, I know," I agree, and her eyes widen slightly in surprise.

"Oh you do, huh?" she asks angrily.

"Yes."

"Then you should be fucking disgusted with yourself."

"I am."

"You did a deplorable thing."

"I know."

"If I was Jennie, I would have chopped your dick off in your sleep."

"I, err..."

"You deserve to have it chopped off. You should never be allowed to ruin another poor girl ever again."

"I didn't."

"And this," she cuts me off and waves a hand around to emphasize my mere presence, "isn't helping her deal with everything. You need to leave her alone."

"I will, Jisoo!" I insist, and upon her raised, sceptical eyebrow I quickly add, "After we talk."

"She doesn't want to talk to you."

"I know, but if she would just give me a chance."

"You don't deserve a chance."

God damn this girl is frustrating. I run a hand through my hair, exasperated, but I'm ready to barrel through the door kicking and screaming if that's what it takes.

"Jisoo, please. Haven't you ever fucked up before? Haven't you ever done something you truly honest to goodness regret?"

She purses her lips and crosses her arms, her knowing I do no wrong smirk on her face.

"Haven't you ever... I don't know... said something mean to someone for no reason? Talked about someone behind their back? Lied to someone?" Her smirk falters, and I see a weakness and pounce. "I've done some regrettable shit, Jisoo. I've never loathed anything as much as I have that entire night. But if I could take it all back, I'm not so sure I would do it." Her eyes harden again, so I rush to continue.

"I did a fucked up thing. I admit it. But if I hadn't gone to the bar that night - if I hadn't run into Kai - then I might have never met Jennie. And as fucked up as it is, I can't regret something that led me to her. I just fucking can't."

Jisoo looks at me, her brow scrunched in her conflict.

"If there's one thing I truly regret, Jisoo, it's just not telling her the truth in the beginning. I was selfish and stupid. Every time my feelings for her got stronger I would try to deny it and convince myself they weren't real. But I still didn't want to hurt her, and eventually I stopped trying to win the bet. But I didn't want to lose the bet either." I groan in frustration and pull at my hair again. "I know, I know that sounds really terrible. But what would you do for your baby sister, Jisoo?"

She takes a deep breath, her eyes wide and compassionate but torn and indecisive, as well.
"What happened to your sister?" she whispers, and my heart races in the hope that I may finally be getting through to her - that she may actually let me through that door.

"I'd rather Jennie hear the whole story from me," I say quietly, begging for her understand. It's not that I don't trust Jisoo, but-yeah, I don't trust Jisoo. I suspect the whole story would be on the front page of the newspaper tomorrow.

"Well." She clears her throat and shuffles her feet in the hallway. I can tell she's weighing the decision in her mind, conflicted by her options.

"Jisoo, please. I beg of you. I'll get on my hands and knees if that's what it takes." I can't believe how pathetic I've become in such a short amount of time.

But it works. Hesitating for only another moment, she finally sighs and twists the knob to her door, pushing it open. She doesn't enter, but takes a step back to give me room, instead.

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