Jennie
I check my phone for the umpteenth time today - no missed calls, unless you count the one from my mother where she's left a message asking if I've seen her white pearl necklace. It's the one Richard bought her for their anniversary two years ago. Sorry, Mom...no luck here.
I sigh loudly, the noise unheard in the empty room. I finger the numbers on my phone, wondering if I should text him again...
Part of me is bummed that he's doing this. I feel let down - disrespected. Another part - the greater, scarier part - is pissed off.
Kai and I had gotten into an argument just yesterday when I'd told him, yet again, that I simply wasn't ready to sleep with him. Call me old fashioned, but we've only been going out for two months, and I'm still unsure where my feelings lie. It's not something I can really place my finger on - he's attractive and wealthy, funny and smart. But do I really want to be with someone who's going to get angry when I refuse to sleep with him?
Where's my knight in shining armour - the one who would wait a lifetime if it only meant he could be with me? Does he exist? Is he wondering where I am, too?
I'm starting to doubt it. I feel my expectations of men may be a little too high. It must be all the Jane Austen....
I faintly recall that Austen never married. Did she suffer the same problem as I am going through right now?
I sigh again - it seems to release some of the tension - and pick up the phone, ready to dial. I'm torn between apologising and ripping him a new asshole. Before I make up my mind, the phone rings in my hand, causing me to jump.
It's Jisoo, my confidant and best friend. I'm relieved to hear from her - maybe she can offer some advice.
"Hey babe," she greets me. "Have you called the dick yet?"
I may have told her about the little incident yesterday.
"I was about to call him," I answer. "I just have no idea what to say..."
"Tell him to go fuck himself, that's what you say Jennie."
God, I'm glad I'm on Jisoo's best side. She has the beauty of Aphrodite and the mouth of the dirtiest, one-legged sailor to boot. She really drives the men wild with that combination.
"You don't think I'm over-exaggerating? I don't want to seem crazy..."
"You'd seem crazy if you didn't dump him. I'm serious - call him, now." So demanding! She's just what I need at times like this.
"But then I won't have a date for Mino's wedding...." PA-THE-TIC. I don't need to hear Jisoo's comment to know how pitifully sad I am. I'm painfully aware that my last shred of dignity has just hopped the train to Siberia, waving sadly at me as it fades from view and into the arctic cold.
But just to make things worse, Jisoo gasps... and then she's silent. So unlike her. I know this isn't going to be good...
If I could time travel, I'd definitely travel back thirty seconds and make myself less pathetic by keeping my big mouth shut. Yes, definitely.
"Jennie," she says slowly, as if she's talking to a retarded person, "I'm going to pretend you didn't just say that. I mean, are you really implying that you'd rather be with that douche than to show up to a wedding alone? Seriously? I mean... seriously?"
So much for pretending.
"That's not what I said. I was simply stating my grievance..."
"Well my grievance is that you haven't dumped his sorry ass yet. Call him, now. And call me back when it's over, I want to hear the details." She hangs up on me.
I glare at the phone. Damn her, she's right. I need to do this.
I quickly dial his number before I can chicken out. It rings once, twice... four times, then to voicemail. I'm fuming! Is the asshole really avoiding me? So I left a message.
"Hello, Kai." I say his name like it's as foul as garbage. "If you find time in the next month I'd really appreciate it if you'd call me back. We need to talk." I hang up without saying goodbye. Ha! Take that!
I guess there's nothing I can do until he calls back. I get up and make a tuna sandwich with extra pickles. I watch 'Lost and Happy Days' before passing out on the couch, a bag of barbecue chips balanced precariously on my chest. Jisoo calls again, but the conversation is short when I have nothing to report.
I decide to go to bed and forget about him - maybe this was the easiest breakup in history? I guess I got it good...
I'm still uneasy, however. I'd probably feel better if I gave him a piece of my mind. I hate that he thinks he's better than me, that asshole.
I change, brush my teeth and wash my face. I decide to just let it go for tonight, but as soon as my head hits the pillow my phone blares from the nightstand. I quickly pick it up and check the number - it's him.
Wow that ass! He finally found the decency to call me back, huh? I answer: "Hello." It's a very unenthusiastic greeting - I don't need him thinking that I'm glad to hear from him.
"Hey, Jennie," he says. He sounds almost... bored? "Sorry I missed your call. I was busy."
"Well is there a reason why you decided to call me in the middle of the night, then?" I ask snidely.
"It's not the middle of the night, Jennie... it's nine forty-five." Shit. I forgot it was so early. Doing nothing all night will do that to you.
"Well, I'm trying to sleep."
"Okay then... I'll let you go."
"Wait!" He pauses. "I think we need to talk, Kai." I hear him sigh.
"All right." His next words are slow and deliberate: "I don't think this is working out, Jennie. I think..." He sighs, frustrated. "I think that we should see other people."
Wait... what??
"What?"
"I think we both want different things." he goes on. "This will be good for both of us."
I can feel my whole face heating in anger. How dare he!?
"Wait a second - you're breaking up with me... over the phone?"
"It's not exactly how I planned it-..."
"Is this because I wouldn't sleep with you?"
"I never said that, Jennie. Don't put words in my mouth, please."
"Oh, right, right. Because I'm sure you would've just taken what you wanted last night and broken up with me anyway, huh? Or maybe gotten one last round in before calling it all off and moving on?"
"Jennie..."
"Jisoo was right about you!" I huff. "You're an asshole. I should've broken up with you weeks ago!" I promptly hang up, determined to have the last word. Asshole...
To my dismay, he doesn't call back to apologise... or beg for my forgiveness, which a tiny, shameful part of me expected... and this only infuriates me more. Now I'm dateless and without pride. Feeling extremely bummed out, I send a quick text to Jisoo.
Jennie: You should be happy to know that it's over.
I leave out the details - I'm frantically grasping at what little remaining dignity I still have. It's all slipping through my fingers at this point, slippery and hard to grip.
Jisoo texts me back promptly, I can almost hear her cheering on my behalf...
Jisoo: That's my girl ;)
If she only knew.
