Heal me // A Jikook Trilogy //

《49》Living in the Moment

Happiness.

I had just sat down for a moment to catch my breath when the feeling suddenly washed over me.

A feeling that trapped me, made tears well up in my eyes as I watched the scene in front of me.

Of my family.
Together.
All of us.

We had done as promised.
Had build a campfire, burning bright, put up sofa's and chairs around it, got drinks and music to celebrate.

It seemed almost unreal.
Too good to be true.
For this to be my life.

There was the tiny, little girl with a heart of iron will and kindness in equal, her head thrown back in ecstasy and happiness, laughing as she twirled around, her hair open and wild around her, just like her character.

She had opted for a top that dipped down her back, revealing the massive tattoo of her wings. She was flying again.
Flying and soaring- free and happy.

And next to her, grinning with brimming happiness in his dark eyes and so much gratitude for his life, Tae dancing close to her, drink in one hand, cigarette in the other.
He looked at her like he had finally found his reason to never let go of this life.
His reason to go on.

Yoongi was behind his makeshift DJ-desk, eyes glowing, cigarette between his lips but a smile around it as he hit the buttons, turned the beats up and made us go crazy with his sick beats while he bobbed and stomped to them himself.
He grinned a little wider when his eyes fell on his biggest fan, his eyes taking on a glitter I didn't think I had ever seen there.

Hoseok was dancing, his happy laughter almost louder than the music, his eyes half closed like he was simply enjoying this moment, not aware of Yoongi watching.
His giddy, gleeful energy was like a pulsing aura around him, warming the night more than the fire we had built.

Jin was being his ridiculous self, bouncing and hopping to the music a little off beat, which made it all the funnier, the massive grin on his lips making him more handsome than ever though.

And then, my eyes found the one person who would always catch my attention and hold it.

My world.

Jimin, hands thrown in the air, twirling around and hooting in joy, swinging his hips as he stood on a chair and demanded the spotlight.

It was so beautiful to see- that happiness and joy on his face, it hurt.
Yes.
Yes indeed.
Jimin is pain.
Because I loved him more than could ever be put into words.

Perhaps more than any person was supposed to love another.

My Angel.
My Sun.
My glowing star in the night sky who had guided me out of my cold, lonely life.
Who gave me hope when I had none.
Who cared for me when no one else had.
Who had answered all these hopeless prayer I sent up to a heaven I didn't believe in.

But I believed in him.
Believed in us.
Believed that we could have a future which would outshine all the bad in our life.

It came as a bitter sweet aftertaste.
Came with a wave of cold that made me shiver.

I scanned our little group, and noticed one was missing.

I was sure I had seen Namjoon not a second ago, dancing and singing with us, sharing a joint with Jin and a drink with Hoseok, twirling around Lian while she laughed.

I stood and looked around the night.

He was but a dark silhouette at the edge of the camp.
Tall and broad, head raised up to the sky where the moon lit up his face, made him look pale and wistful.