Heal me // A Jikook Trilogy //

《22》How to Let You Go

"It was an accident, Jin!" I lied for the millionth time.
It was seriously starting to give me a headache!

For once, I had hoped they wouldn't care- wouldn't ask.
I couldn't have been more wrong.
This morning, the first thing Namjoon had said as I joined them for breakfast was:
"Morning. What happened to your hand?"

I wrapped it in a clean bandage when I had woken in the shattered shards of glass in my little bathroom.
And for the first time, I lied straight to Namjoon's face, told him I slipped on the wet bathroom floor and broke my mirror by accident.

He looked at me long and hard but I didn't flinch, by mere willpower held his eyes until he nodded and told me I should be careful next time.
He hadn't mentioned anything again.
But the others had made up for it.

All but Jimin.
He had barely looked at me or talked to me and I was growing more worried by the second.
Was it because of yesterday?
Because of what happened on that little island?

But he hadn't acted weird after that.
We had played volleyball, then danced and sung like we used to.
Or was that only an act he had put up for Lian?

Speaking off...Tae had told us all about the little game she had agreed to play with us.
To pretend we didn't know each other in school and make those girls she called friends fall for the lie that she feared and hated us.
But as Namjoon always cautioned: we had to be patient.
To rush this could ruin everything.

So we waited two whole days.
Two days, where Jimin barely talked to me, didn't seek me out and avoided my gazes.
I told myself I'd be Okay with it.
That it was only temporary, but by the second day...it drove me absolutely insane.

So insane, I stood here now, in the middle of the night, knocking at Jimin's trailer door with no plan what to say or do.
Only knowing I had to see him. Had to make him look at me for longer than three damn seconds!
I stood, waited and counted in my head to four until the door was opened.

"JK?" Jimin breathed, eyes wide and stunned like I was the last person he expected.

His white hair was tousled from sleep, his left cheek a little red from where he must have slept on and his PJ'S wrinkled.
All words I could have possibly said left me.

How did he do that to me?
How could he be such a tease, so sensual and sinful with that mischievous, sexy twinkle in his eyes and yet right now, he looked so freaking adorable, all innocent and sleepy?
It made me want to pull him into a hug and never let him go.

Not fuck him senseless like I so often fantasized about.
Only hold him in my arms and breath him in for hours while stroking his hair.
Keeping him safe in my embrace.

"What are you doing here?"

I blinked, remembering why I was here.

"I...wanted to talk."

"In the middle of the night?"

"Ahm...yes?"

Jimin sighed and despite finally managing to have him look at me...I could tell there was something wrong.

Slowly, he lowered his eyes and my heartbeat set out for a moment when I realized what he was looking at.
When I suddenly understood why he'd been avoiding me.

He lifted his head once more and his eyes were glowing with sadness and hurt.

"If you tell me what really happened to your hand, we can talk."

My mouth fell open, the hand in speaking clasping and unclasping like it was itching.

I should tell him.
I could trust him and he had always, always understood me best.
But... I couldn't.
Couldn't get the words out so I snapped my mouth shut again and lowered my head.