I know you || bang chan x Felix

Tell me next time

MENTION OF SELF HARM AND STUFF LIKE THAT

Over the past few months, I had been secretly writing a song and it was being released today. None of the members knew about it, not even chan.

Channie?
Yes my Lixxie?
Can you get the members to go to the living room? I have something to show you all.
Ok baby.

We all met in the living room, the others looking at me with curiosity in their eyes.

Guys- I didn't tell any of you, not even chan, but the past few months, I have been making a song, and it just got released.
Really? That's so cool!

The members congratulated me and excitedly talked while I got the music video up.

Also, one more thing. It's in English.
But then we can't understand it!
Y-you probably don't want to anyway.

Before the others could respond I started the video. I was seen walking in to a small room, a mirror on the wall. I looked into the mirror and it flashed to scenes of blood drops and tears. As the vision finished I slumped onto the ground against the wall, looking up at the low ceiling.

Why does it have to be me?
All I feel is that I'm not good enough

The thoughts that contaminate my mind don't stop.
The urge to reach for the blade
The blade that cuts away my sadness- even for a second
I think through them, the only good in my life.

I put it back, put it back.

Sometimes the urge is too strong.

But they would never know.

Never know, never know.

(Sorry I don't write songs, this is trashy, but it's supposed to be about anxiety and depression being really bad, to the point that it flows out without other knowing. I don't struggle with this, but I know how hard it is)

After listening to about half of the song, chan pauses it. He looks me in the eye and speaks to me, in English.

(Underlined is English)

Lix- we need to chat alone.

Chan gets up and walks to our room.

Lix. Where are they?
Where are what?
The cuts. Tell me now.
I- I- they-
Show. Me.

I hesitantly pulled down my pants and sat next to chan. I ran my fingers over the small cuts on my thigh, looking up at chan.

When did you do that felix?
W-well it started a couple years ago. Then it stopped. A-and now it's started again.
When was the most recent one?
T-two days ago-
Felix! No! That's not healthy!
But I-
NO! FELIX NO BUTS! I CARE OK? I. FUCKING. CARE ABOUT YOU!
Channie please stop yelli-
I'M YELLING BECAUSE I CARE FELIX!

Suddenly I broke into tears. I had no idea why, but I couldn't hold it anymore. The tears came heavy and fast. Chans expression immediately softened.

No baby- no please don't cry! I'm sorry for yelling at you lixxie, I just- it's hard to see that the person I care most about like this.

He ran his fingers over the small scars and the scab from the recent cut. He pulled me in tight and sobbed into my shoulder as I sobbed into his.

Lix- where is the blade?

He asked, pulling away. I pointed to the smallest drawer in the jewellery box and he went and opened it. He took the blade in his hand and looked.

Lixxie I'm taking this away. I don't want you to hurt yourself again.
Channie.
Yes Lixxie?
I'm sorry.

He stuffed the blade into his pocket and sat next to me, rubbing my back.

Baby Please tell me next time.