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Beginning of that blurb is quite enticing. I like how it really draws people in right away and comes off as a hard-hitting and intriguing interest. After that, we get to see what Cleo Petrakovski wants, which is to just find a way out. Also, you really do add to that concept of a romance while we might be able to see Cleo battling a restriction to her past.
Grammar wise, I do see a lot-more-than-usual disconnect in the sentence structures. Like the first sentence of the proper blurb is a run-on, a sentence seems misplaced, and parts of some sentences that just come out of nowhere with info-dumps. Though, you did transition the ideas quite nicely which I commend you on, from the past to the school to the tutor to the love to the question. Smooth and well put-together.
Now you did mention there is a maturity warning. I am going to guess this maturity warning is for any mentions to ab*se and passing of Dante. Before anyone asks, I am doing B: Impressions before I read since it makes it more authentic, so I am only guessing where the maturity warning is coming from. With this in mind, if this maturity is known to be true, I recommend that you, the author of this story, turn on the maturity content for the story just for the safety of a younger audience.
IV. First Sentences
A good introduction! It instantly sets that sorrowful and bleak tone right away which affects the audience for their mood. Though I never really was fond of "Dear Diary" beginnings, I do not hate it here that much. Although, for realistic purposes, I recommend you remove the "My name is Cleo Petrakovski" part since uhmmm... she knows who she is already. It seems off to put that at the beginning when this is a diary which she wouldn't keep putting her introduction in. What I would recommend to you is to have like (at the bottom, after the diary entry) the date and the character's first name only. Makes it more authentic and realistic, especially for, I am guessing, contemporary fiction. Other than that, it works well and is intriguing for readers to learn more about Cleo.
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Shall we begin? SO. You just requested for a general look at the story which I will happily do!
This first chapter... THAT WAS EVERYTHING! The way you embodied the sorrows and that bleak tone to the chapter, captivating the dreading emotions she felt, and kept coming back to her writing with the pen in her hand was oh so perfect! I adore your ability to non-forcefully capture the emotions she felt for his loss, speaking of the promises they made to each other, questioning herself/reality of the situation, trying to accept the ending, the perfect way to show the stages of grief. You really took your abilities in writing style and your unique voice to properly attract your audience in choosing. Additionally, regarding the technical elements, I don't see any obvious grammar errors, wording problems, sentence structure, et cetera. The editing done was properly taken care of, so I commend you for that! Regarding how the plot is playing out, I like this first chapter a lot as it molds the past and motions for the present. A random note, but with the way the father has been acting towards the family and a promise made to try and escape him, I am a bit off-putted to why Cleo would keep considering him as "father." From my observations in other readings, whenever this type of relationship is taking place, especially in the 1st POV, they would not refer to them as "father" and would either tell them by their first name or just like a random thing called for them. Again, nothing you have to change if Cleo is still looking for a recovery of the father, but it is something I have noticed in other teen fiction and young adult genres with these themes/mature content.
