THE MAFIAS CROOKS

Chapter 40

Skin on skin. The full feeling of happiness, of both pleasure and filled desire.
The fullness of hope consumed into the bones of a person.
The feeling of someone finally able to understand your souls hunger.

His arm was wrapped around my waist as his smell tickled my nose. His fingers brushed along my sides indicating his awakening.
Tracing my finger over his hard rock abs, indicating my own awakening.

"good morning" he kissed the top of my head as my eyes opened, meeting his.

"good morning" i whispered back, kissing the side of his torso, causing him to smile.

"how do you feel?" he questioned.

"better than i've ever been" i pulled my body closer to him.

he hummed. "you seem to be distant" i stated looking at him. He clearly seemed distracted, like his mind was elsewhere.

"i've just got a lot on my mind"

"is it about the dinner?... or us?" i asked.

"what about the dinner" his voice heavy as his jaw clenched.

"you and your brother.. you guys don't seem to have the best relationship"

"a lot of brothers don't"

"that was different"

"well i guess not all fights would be the same right"

"i guess". he pulled himself from under me. His bare body facing me as he grabbed a pair of boxers putting it on. A black shirt following.

He sat at the edge of the bed, letting out a sigh.
I pulled myself to his back, hugging him. as my chin sat on the sink of his shoulder blades.

"you know you can talk to me right" i assured him.

He sighed again.

"I'm here" i stated kissing his neck.

"Temporarily" he grumbled.

For a big reason that really did burn a part of me. After what transpired yesterday i though he would've at least feel a little more comfort around me. I knew he wouldn't trust me, i really can't be at this point.
My heart hurts thinking of putting him away, putting away a part of me. A part that isn't possible to let go.

"Thanks" i stated pulling away from him. Standing up I wrapped the bedsheet around me and headed to my bedroom, my temporary one.

.

I took a bath and decided on my next move.

I wasn't getting any information staying here, and i had enough pictures on my phone to go over.
I needed to get back to work, i needed to get back to London.
Staying here would only result to me continuously breaking, and his wife would soon return.

"he isn't the kind of brother you want to look up to" a voice stated behind me. I knew who it was, i just didn't want to look at him. "he did a lot of things to me, some i'll never understand why"
"Avory i'm not the type of person who trusts easily, or at all for that matter... i've done wrong and i guess what he did was my way of paying for it"

His footsteps came closer "i'd rather keep that pain inside and bottle it instead of being hurt again".
He stood infront of me as my neck crained to look up at him. His eyes glossed as his chest was steady breathing.

"but i'll never hurt you"

"gosh Avory, i've heard that so many fucking times.. i've lost count" his voice raised causing me to jump. "over and over you people preach the same thing, and over and over we get fucked over".
"a part of me wants to trust you"

"i understand more than you think Azvameth"

"how can you possibly..hu.. everything was handed to you on a silver platter"

i sighed as a tear rolled down my eyes. "a silver platter really?"
"if everything was handed to me, you think i'd rob your villa?"
"you think i'd do the kinds of jobs i did back then?"
"you think after all the fuck ups i've been through, you think i'd still be breaking down?"

my voice shakey and loud.

"touche, i guess we've both been through a lot of fuck ups, welcome to the party" he chuckled.

"i swear, you're the worst" i hissed causing him to tense.

"damn, what a compliment, it does feel good" he clapped as another chuckle left his mouth. "is there anything you want to add?"

"that you're a dick"

"my, what a different name.. that's a first.. i've been told i've had a very large one though"

"gosh" i shook my head.

"listen Avory such is life we-"

"i killed my baby" my head bowed as tears finally flooded my eyelids.
All my built up emotions left me.

I blame myself for what happened that day. If I had only turned around in time.
If I didn't put her there in the first place.
Azvameth sat near me.My head remained buried in my palms as sobs left me.

"she died when i was 17" i stated as my sobs choked me.

"i'm sorry" he stated as pity filled his mouth.

"all i ever wanted to do was have her back in my arms, to feel her, and hear her little giggles again" i sniffed. "i stayed at her grave a week after her death. My parents weren't even there to comfort me. But I wasn't surprised, after they kicked me out while i was having her, it wasn't something new to me"
"i tried to recreate her with Shak,but-but he never wanted one with me... instead he gave our baby to someone else"
"i knew that was Gods way of telling me i didn't deserve another, but a part of me still wanted to keep hope you know", tear after tear left my eyes as pitched sobs left my mouth.

"now i'm not a person who believes in all the God things, but i can assure you, you're not to be blamed Avory-"

"I PUT HER ON THAT COUNTER, I WAS THE ONE THAT MADE HER FALL TO HER DEATH, I COULDN'T TURN AROUND IN TIME... I SHOULDN'T OF BOUGHT HER INTO THE WORLD IF I COULDN'T PROTECT HER"

"I understand that you feel that way,but you can't beat yourself up on something you had no control over. We all make mistakes, how we handle it after is what matters."
"now i can't tell you how to feel about your baby,but look at it as a second chance. Learn from your mistakes, and instead of trying to deal with them embrace them.. it's what made you- you."

My heart burns so much, but a part of me knows he's right.

"but Shak won't have a baby with me, we've been married for 4 years, i've been trying for 2 years to get us to... and now he just left"

"maybe, it's Gods way of telling you, you deserve better. someone better" he smirked.

"doesn't believe in all the God things, hu?" i chuckled, him following. "thanks for listening" i smiled.

"hey not all dicks are bad" he winked. As i giggled.

"i just- i want you to be comfortable confining in me" i looked at him.

"its just- i have put trust in people, and no-one has ever kept it. I've just come to the point of bottling my feelings no matter who it is" he shrugged.

"well i'm not those people" i stated truthfully. After today i knew i'd be in a very sticky situation.

He sighed standing up, opening the curtains.

He looked back at me "where do i begin"

SO HEY GUYS I'M SORRY FOR THE SHORT CHAPTERS BUT I CAN'T HELP IT. WE'RE NOW GETTING INTO THE MAIN Characters FEELINGS.

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