Loving a Dangerous Life (editing)

Chapter 12 - Recurring Nightmares

I stared down at the soft covers as I finished talking, so ashamed of myself.

Alexander sighed, lifting the shirt and examining my back before moving around me and looking up and down and around my body. He sucked in a breath. "I thought it was all from the bomb." He said, his fingers gently brushing my back. I winced a bit and shook my head as he gently dropped the shirt back over me.

"No, but I'm going to say that that's why they are there." I knew what he was seeing. My body was covered with old scars, but some of them were newer, from the bomb. Alex's hand traveled down to my hips, and he turned me towards him.

"I'm so sorry." He whispered. I shook my head.

"It's okay, it was nine years ago," I said, offering him a weak smile. "Out of all the nights, I just had to have this nightmare" I groaned, talking more to myself than Alex. I looked down, taking in Alex's form. The sheet was draped over his legs, and they covered the more intimate parts of him. I smiled a bit as memories flooded back to me. I blushed, a little disconcerted by how he had managed to make me shake underneath him a few hours ago.

"How many times have you had sex to be that good?" I randomly asked, trying to take my mind off of the nightmare. He lazily smirked.

"I'm a bit of a playboy." He didn't break my gaze. I mentally groaned. Hot. "Audrey?" He said my name, the end of it going up like a question.

"Mhm?" I looked away from him, sensing that he was serious again.

"If I ever remind you of those pieces of shit, tell me." He said his fingers coming into my vision and forcing my chin up to meet his eyes. I closed my eyes, not liking the way the conversation went from playful to serious. Alex pulled me toward him roughly until I was sitting in his lap, straddling him. My eyes opened and I gasped, surprised at the sudden movement. Alexander's eyes captured mine, the look in them daring me to look away.

"The fact that you are worried that you will be like them means you never will be," I carefully said, our eyes now lost in a battle of dominance.

How did everything change so much in one night?

"God, I've gotten into such a mess." I said, "I am a fucking mess." I groaned again, closing my eyes and letting my head fall back my sore body quickly followed until I was laying down on the bed with my eyes shut, my legs open around Alex. His sinful hands smoothed over the outside of my thighs.

"Audrey, you are not a mess." Alex's voice was full of warning, telling me what would happen if I pushed this too far. I smirked.

"Yes I am, I'm a worthless piece of shit," I shot back, pushing him on. I wanted to see how far he went- how angry my insecurities could make this man.

He grabbed my hips, pulling me close to him like I was a ragdoll. My abused body willfully let him adjust my limbs, my mind and lips unable to come up with a protest. I was straddling him again, and my eyes widened when I felt how hard he was for me. He forcefully kissed me. Everything immediately started to spin, and I smiled against his lips. I was already turned on. Alex's hands traveled up my body to my hips, then cupped my breasts under my shirt. The whole time he never broke the kiss.

"You listen to me, you are. Fucking. Perfect." He said, finally breaking the kiss. I shook my head. He kissed me again. I pushed him onto the bed, then lowered my body over his, need filling me. Alex grunted in surprise. I bit his lip slightly. His fingers pulled the shirt off of me, and my chest pressed to his. He inserted his long middle finger into me, and I gasped. He smiled, knowing the effect he had on me. I kissed him, reaching down to touch him. I challenged him, wrapping my hand around his dick and squeezing as I had done so many times.

"Who's in control now, darling?" I asked, my voice seductive- the same one I used for all my subs. He pulled his finger out of me violently, almost making me whine at the loss of warmth in my pussy. Alex grabbed my wrists and flipped us over, so that he was on top, and I was pressed into the bed. He pinned my wrists above my head with one hand.

"Hmm, still looks like I am, you dirty little whore." He said, opening my legs with his. He kissed my neck while rubbing his thumb across my thighs. I groaned. I wanted to touch him so badly, but he had my hands pinned about my head. He kissed me again, and when I couldn't take it anymore, I raised my pelvis, begging him. He chuckled, pushing me back down.

"Wait for it." He said. I groaned. He chuckled. "Or perhaps, if you ask nicely enough-"

"Please." I cut him off. He smirked.

"Please what?" His hands touching my skin, my mind spinning, my breath caught, my body sore from cumming for the first time a few hours ago. It was all pleasure, a delightful high that I was reaching without even smoking.

"I need you, so bad, so fucking bad," I murmured. Those words flipped the switch in him, and Alex finally sank into me, making me gasp. He started thrusting immediately, filling me up, and I arched my back, bringing my lips to his. His free hand cupped my face, his pace picking up. Alex moaned right next to my ear, the sound one that proved I drive him just as crazy as he did me, letting my hands go. I grabbed the sheets on either side of me as his thrusts got deeper and faster. His hands covered mine, and he tangled his fingers with mine. My orgasm came faster than expected, harsh pants being torn from my chest as he fucked me again. He groaned, his breathy voice telling me just how good I was for him. This was nothing compared to the scene from a couple of hours ago, but it was still the best sex I've ever had. My orgasm was so fucking close that I began trembling again.

"Sir-" I screamed as he shoved into me, grinding his hips down punishingly. His teeth and lips found a spot on my neck that made me shake and grab at his hair. Sensations surrounded me, ones I didn't know what they were because I had never felt them.

Goddamn.

"Not yet." He pressed a kiss to my neck, sucking on the skin. Moans were ripped from my sore throat as one of his hands traveled down my body, rubbing my clit. My back ached in such a way that it should be painful, but it wasn't. Everything was a pleasure. I screamed.

"Come on, baby, let it go now." He encouraged. His thrusts were now so fast and so hard that the whole bed was shaking. I came, my whole exhausted body bucking against his. After a few more sloppy thrusts, he fell onto me, his cum filling me as he buried his face into my chest, bitting down on my skin as his high took him. I was gasping for breath, and he pressed a kiss against my sweaty forehead. My legs trembled out o control, but I knew he could keep going. I just wasn't used to this yet, and when I was, we could go longer.

"You feel so good." Alex groaned. I tiredly smiled. He kissed me again. I moved closer to him.

"Two times in one night, what's next?" I joked. He tucked some hair behind my ear.

"Go to sleep, Princess, your body is tired." He said, pulling me close to him again. I shook my head.

"I don't want the nightmares to come back," I dropped my eyes, hiding my face because I was ashamed of how scared I was of what I would see again. Alex's hands rubbed calming circles on my back, the feeling gentle and unusual.

"It's okay, I'll be here."

Those have to be the most comforting words I've heard in almost ten years.

We stayed that way for a while. I fought the sleep.

Alex had fallen asleep a while ago, but I wouldn't let myself fall asleep. I didn't want to wake him up when I had my nightmares again. I quietly slipped out of the bed, finding the shirt that was on the ground. I threw it on, glad that it covered everything and kept me warm. My legs were weak, and every step hurt, but I tried my best to ignore it.

I headed down the stairs and to the kitchen, smoothing out my hair as I went. I grabbed a strawberry from the fridge, eating it as I stood by the window. I had to be about 6:00 in the morning. The sun was rising, and it was so beautiful. I smiled a bit.

Maybe saving Alex from that bomb had been the best decision I've made.

I ran a hand through my hair, feeling like I was worth something now. Even if all Alexander wanted from me was sex, at least then I knew that I turned him on. I turned away from the window. The house was dark, and everyone was asleep. I sat on the couch, pulling a blanket over my legs.