Cold Devotion | ✔️

Chapter Forty-Nine

Eventually the flow of rebels lessens and lessens until there is only a few of us left. I try not to look at the bodies on the floor, scared that I will see a familiar face.

I plant my last bullet in the side of a rebel's head and watch as they drop to the floor. The amount of bodies I have watched drop to the floor, watched bleed out, watched die before me is sickening.

I turn to Michael and hate that there isn't enough time to drag out his death as I had planned. "Say hello to the devil for me," I smirk and plant a knife deep in his abdomen.

He laughs as he begins to struggle to breathe. I look around at the remnants of the war. The countless bodies and the blood... there is so much blood.

My eyes meet hers.

"We did it," Rose says and I can just about see, through the falling snow, the tears pooling in her eyes. She is smiling so brightly, as if we aren't both covered in a wondrous crimson from head to toe.

"We did it, my love," I say and she begins running towards me, her arms outstretched.

I see something move in the corner of my eye. My eyes meet with a gun, a gun in Michael's hand. With his dying breath, his finger pulls the trigger.

"No!" I shout as I watch the bullet land firmly in Rose's chest. The whole world seems to blur as she begins to fall. I run towards her and catch her before she hits the floor.

I cradle her in my arms. This is not happening.

"C-Colton," she chokes and I press my hand to the wound in her chest. Tears are streaming down my face and it feels as though I have been shot in the chest myself.

I meet those beautiful hazel eyes, the ones that I have found a home in, the ones that hold so much fire and life.

"It's okay... you're okay, you're fine, my love," I say frantically and try to stop the bleeding. Her face is growing paler by the second and I can't stop the sob escaping from my lips. "Help, someone help!" I shout but nothing... the only people are dead on the floor.

My heart feels as though it has been ripped out of my chest. The woman I love is dying in my arms and I don't know how to stop it. "I'm so tired," she whispers and I brush her hair out of her face with my bloodied hand.

"I know... I know but y-you have to stay awake for me okay, stay alive," I choke on a sob and her breathing becomes strangled. This is not happening. We need more time, I need more time with her. This can't be all we had.

I didn't get to show her how much I love her. I didn't get to spend enough mornings laying in bed with her, I didn't get to do so many things that I promised that I'd do with her.

I promised I'd get her out of here and give her the life she deserved. Oh how I have wronged her.

"I love you Colton... so much... you... you weren't the villain in my story," she gasps for air and I sob into the crook of her neck.

"I love you, I love you, I love you," I repeat over and over again. "My only regret is that we didn't have enough t-time, my love," I sob and feel my heart cracking in my chest.

"You'll be okay... it'll be okay," the words barely make it out of her and I shake my head repeatedly.

"I can't do this without you, I can't... I can't live without you, my love," I watch as a lone tear falls down the side of her face and I brush it away.

"We'll see... e-each other again," she chokes. "In... in another lifetime," Rose says with her final dying breath and her body goes limp in my arms. All I can do is cry, my whole body is in physical pain.

My hands are covered in her blood, my loves blood. None of this feels real, like one huge nightmare that I am more than ready to wake up from.

"You can wake up, darling, it's over," I whisper and cup her face with my hand. Rose still lays there in my arms, unmoving. "P-please," I beg. "Please wake up baby," I sob and rock her in my arms.

I can't do this without her, I can't live without her.

She is the other half of my soul. I can't survive this.

"No," someone says behind me and my eyes snap to Marco. "She's... she's not..." he trails off and I frantically shake my head.

"She'll wake... she will wake up," I profess and look back to her in my arms. She's not dead, she's not dead. Rose wouldn't leave without me, she wouldn't leave this world without me and go on to another.

We was going to do it together. We was going to get out of here together.

"Where's Zach?" I ask through my sobs and cradle Rose's body even closer to mine. The snow is covering us and her lips are turning a pale blue.

"Zach's... Zach's dead," Marco says quietly and it feels like the breath has been knocked out of me all over again. Rose's best friend can't be dead it's not possible. "Colton... she's gone," Marco whispers and I shake my head.

"Rose wouldn't die and leave me here, she just wouldn't... she's not dead," I press a kiss to her forehead and keep repeating those words to myself.

"Everyone's dead... we're the only ones that have survived," Marco says and I shake my head.

"All of this was for nothing... I've lost everything," I whisper. I've lost the only thing that was worth staying alive for, I've lost the only person who I'll ever love.

I will never recover from this.

***

2 months later

Another night of drinking my sorrows away. I don't remember much from the past two months, nothing but drinking myself sick and trying to forget about her. The facility is empty besides from me, Marco and a few other people.

Just like every other night, I find myself stumbling to her room. The hole in my chest only seems to grow as each day goes by. Each day without her only brings more pain, more darkness.

I sink to my knees as soon as I reach her room. The place still faintly smells of her.

I haven't been able to sleep in my bed since that day. I've been sleeping on the floor because I can't stomach the bed feeling so empty without her. Can't stomach being so cold and not being surrounded by her warmth.

Everything inside me screams for just one more kiss, one more glance, one more minute, just one more.

My mind and heart are numb and they have been for as long as I can remember. As soon as I let her go, she took my soul with her.

I can't even think of her name anymore, it brings too much pain for me to bare and when I feel that pain... my mind goes to the darkest places. I'm not sure I can endure this any longer. I'm no longer living without her.

It's as though I am already dead.

My hands reach for the small notebook she was so fond of. I'm not sure I will ever be able to read the words in this diary. I won't be able to read the letter I wrote for her, I won't be able to remember how in love I was with her.

They say time heals but I have never been in more pain in my life.

Every night I find myself begging a higher power for just five more minutes. I would do anything to feel her lips against mine just one more time, to hear her voice just once more.

She left me with nothing but a hole in my chest, taking my heart with her to wherever she is now.

All I can hope for is that, wherever she is that she has found peace and gotten the life she deserved. I can only hope that she is happy, not burdened by the pain this life brought her.

"Just come home, my love," I whisper into the nothingness that seems to be my life - hoping that she'll somehow hear me and return back into my arms.

I see her everywhere, in everything I do. Sometimes it feels as though she is still here with me, but then the pain magnifies and I am reminded that she isn't... that she never will be, ever again.

If the pain doesn't subside soon then I have no other choice than to give up completely.

I simply cannot go on anymore and I don't want to.