Cold Devotion | ✔️

Chapter Twenty-Five

"Hello sector 85!" my father smiles. I drown out the speech, not wanting to hear his empty promises for the future, and focus on the crack in the floor. I stare at it for a while until I feel eyes on me.

I look up and see a boy, probably only a little bit older than me, staring at me. He has dark brown hair styled to perfection, chiselled cheekbones and green eyes that look all too familiar. His frame is very tall, lean and muscular. He's wearing an all black suit and is leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets as if he hasn't a care in the world. The epitome of nonchalance.

I notice his eyes raking up and down my body and glare at him. His eyes meet mine and I make a point not to break the eye contact first.

He smirks and I feel myself shiver.

I shoot up in bed, my breathing is uneven, my chest heaving. As soon as I try to grasp the dream I had just experienced - I can't. It slips through my finger tips and I haven't a clue what I was dreaming about. I clutch my hand to my chest and normalise my breathing.

Colton stirs in his sleep beside me and I almost fall off the bed from how startled I am at the stranger sleeping beside me. I look at his resting body and the guilt floods me. I can see how hard he is trying, how patient he is being with me. But also I can see how much this is drowning him and I hate that I am being a burden.

A dark strand of hair falls onto his forehead and I get a weird sensation and want to brush it away from his face. I reach over to the glass of water on the nightstand and take a sip. A metallic taste fills my mouth and I have to stop myself from gagging.

All I had been drinking was those herbs, every second of every day - clinging to the hope that they would restore my memories but to no avail. Colton still has hope but mine is slowly starting to slip away.

When do we decide that enough is enough? When do we decide that it's not going to work? When do we decide that we should move on? So many questions that we don't have the answers to.

I stare through the darkness as my body regains composure. A hand touches my back and I flinch from their touch. I hadn't even realised that Colton had woken up. "Sorry if I woke you," I whisper and I see him shake his head through the dark.

"You okay?" his hand follows the curve of my spine and I shudder at the contact. A small fire in me is begging to be ignited by his touch, begging to be awoken again - as if it has been dormant for too long, it is yearning for him.

"Yeah... I'm fine," I breathe and he looks into my eyes. Those evergreen eyes that are so staggering but haunting at the same time.

"Go back to sleep," he whispers and I oblige. I lay my head on the cool pillow and stare up at the ceiling. I am tired, so tired but my mind is thinking about so many things.

I can't get over the vividness of that dream - it felt like I had lived it before. There's a small glimmer of hope that tells me "maybe you're remembering" but the hope is quickly outweighed by the realism of the situation.

I am never going to get back those memories so it is best if I just move on with my life and let go of the tether holding me to the girl I was, the girl who is isn't even a distant memory but a forgotten soul.

The idea pains me but we have to be realistic here. I have been drinking those retched herbs day after day and we are no closer. We either find a new solution or give up entirely.

"We can't give up Rose... we have to keep trying," Colton says beside me, as if he could hear my thoughts.

"There's no other option, I don't see any other way," I admit and Colton lets out a deep breath, sighing into the darkness that wraps around us like a warm blanket.