secret benefits // bucky barnes x female reader

-30

you woke up and looked at the time. it was still 11:43pm and the party was still going on. you felt like throwing up and so you did. you quickly grabbed the bowl steve gave you and threw up in it.

"disgusting" you said to yourself as you looked into your puke. you went into the bathroom to brush your teeth and changed into some comfy clothes.

you laid down again and looked at the ceiling the whole time. you were definitely sober now after you threw up. and as you were sinking in your thoughts again, you just thought that you had enough of this. "ok i can't do this anymore" you said to yourself as you sat up.
"FRIDAY where is bucky?"

"he is in his room with some company ms y/l/n"

"who's the company"

"i don't know her. she's in the tower for the first time and not registered"

"ok thank you"

let's meet the unknown company. you walked out of your room and knocked on bucky's door. when he opened the door he was shirtless. you looked over to his bed and saw the blonde bitch in his bed covered with his blanket and her shoulders were free, probably naked under the sheets. you felt anger and jealousy filling up your body as you gave him a death stare, slammed the door shut and walked into your room again.

why did i just react like that? i have no right to. it's his life and i have nothing to do with it. you were laying on your bed and looking up at the ceiling.

suddenly a knock on the door.
"come in" you said and sat up. bucky came in with an emotionless expression on his face. you groaned and laid down again. "what do you want?" he asked. you could hear annoyance in his voice.
"are you serious right now? you are in MY room. what do YOU want." you said, still annoyed and disgusted over the thought that he just had sex with someone else than you. "i am in YOUR room because i want to know what YOU wanted in MY room." he said, clearly mocking you.

you sighed heavily and annoyed.
"i don't know" you said. he was definitely confused now, as always.

"what the fuck?" he narrowed his eyes a bit. you sat up and nodded pointing to your bed as a sign for him to sit down. he sat down far away from you but still faced you. "why did i never hear your screams from your nightmares?" you asked, worried but didn't show it so you kept a straight face. "because i barely sleep to avoid them" he said bluntly.
"what the fuck barnes that's not healthy. you need rest and sleep." you raised your voice a bit. you were worried about him but still annoyed about the girl.

"oh come on don't act like you're worried about me now" he rolled his eyes.
"are you fucking serious right now" you whispered loudly.
"fuck you barnes. fuck you and that blonde bitch. go on. have more sex with blondie." your voice raised. you stood up and pointed to the door as a sign for him to leave.

"oh so you're jealous?" he smirked a bit. you sat down again as you regretted your words. "one more reason as why you should admit that there's a tension between us" his smirk dropped and he put on his straight face again. you said nothing.
"listen, y/n. i don't know why you thought that but i didn't have sex with her." he sighed. you were confused.
"i couldn't do something like that. not like you." you felt guilty at his words.

"do you think i'm dumb? she was laying down in your bed, naked. and you were shirtless. what did y'all do then? have a naked fashion show?" you rolled your eyes. "she wasn't naked?! what the fuck?! i had blood on my shirt from that guy i punched in the face, to save you. why the hell do you think that she was naked?!" he explained himself. you didn't respond at first because you were remembering how he saved you and called himself your 'boyfriend'

"she was under your blanket and i could see her naked shoulder." you looked down at your legs. he chuckled.
"what's so funny" you said angrily as you looked up again. "y/n did you see what she was wearing? it was an off shoulder dress. she laid down in my bed because she was cold or something i don't know she was weird." he smirked at the thought that you were jealous.

"oh"

there was an awkward silence for the next 30 seconds until bucky broke it.
"so why were you in my room? and don't say that you don't know because i don't believe you" he asked again. you stayed quiet for a bit as you leaned your back against your bed and looked up at the ceiling.
"i missed you" you said quietly and bluntly. he stayed silent for a few seconds. you looked over at him. "why do you want me to admit that there's a tension between us so bad?" you asked and narrowed your eyes.

"because we both know it's true"

"listen bucky i don't-" you wanted to start talking but he interrupted you.
"y/n you cannot tell me that you haven't felt anything for just one second. one single second." he raised his voice a bit.

"i didn't" you lied.

he sighed and chuckled.
"why are you like that?! why are you always running away from your emotions and feelings?!" you looked down and didn't know how to answer. he chuckled once again. "that was obvious. y/n we both know that i'm right. why would i be on your mind the whole time then?" he asked. "from where the fuck do you wanna know if you're on my mind the whole time or not" he was indeed on your mind the whole time.
"because you're on mine too"
he said bluntly and with no hesitation.

you didn't know how to respond. you didn't even know why you were doing all this right now. "bucky i-" you wanted to start talking but got interrupted by bucky's lips smashing against yours. you didn't know if you should refuse it but you missed the feeling of his lips against yours, so you went for it. at first it was light and sweet kiss but it quickly turned deep and passionate, very passionate. your lips melted together and the kiss held on for what felt like ages. you got this feeling again as he put his hand on your waist and you put your hand on his chest. it felt like you've kissed him again after 100 years because you both were starving for this kiss. as you pulled away y'all tried to catch your breath's.

"you can't tell me this meant nothing to you." bucky smirked at you slightly. it definitely did mean very much to you. you just didn't know how to express it and you didn't want to admit it for some reason. you didn't answer and gave him a weak smile. "bucky why did you call yourself my boyfriend today? you could've just leave that part out." you rolled your eyes and put your hand down from his chest. whilst he stood up he started to explain himself. "i was just preparing myself" he winked at you and walked out of your room. you tried to hide your uncontrollable smile whilst biting your lip but it didn't work.

you had a weird feeling in your stomach the whole time while laying in your bed and thinking about the kiss. it was like you've kissed for the first time ever. it was amazing. you tried to sleep but you couldn't. you felt alone. since bucky talked to you again finally, you hoped that he would still talk to you now, so you went out of your room and knocked on his door. he opened it and stood there in his pjs and shirtless. you were admiring his abs and he seemed to notice because he was smirking at you like a freak.

"what's up" he asked as he brought you out of what ever world you were in. "oh.. uh i couldn't sleep, and i hoped i could sleep in your bed.. beside you." you looked down at your feet.
"no" he said bluntly without any emotion on his face . you looked at him and narrowed your eyes, these eyes turned into a death stare quickly.
"just kidding. i was just kidding. please don't kill me." he chuckled
"come in" he said with a charming smile.

you went in and laid down in his soft bed. he got in beside you. there was a huge gap between you both and there was an awkward silence at first.
"you're so far away" you said with a tired voice. he smiled and got closer to you. you put your head on his naked chest as he rested his chin on your head. there was a comfortable silence now and you were very happy to be on his side again.

"i missed this. goodnight doll." bucky whispered as he gave you a kiss on your head. you got a warm feeling in your chest. doll. you were too tired to respond and fell asleep quickly.