secret benefits // bucky barnes x female reader

-17

am i dreaming? please tell me this is just another nightmare.

you didn't know what to do. you saw how everyone got knocked out except for loki and thor. you saw everyone on the floor and injured. you felt anger in you. you didn't think too much and used your powers. suddenly all these agents were thrown out the tower. "what in the living hell was that" said loki. shit. what have i just done.

you stood there in shock for what you have just done. everyone saw it. they may have seen what just happened but they didn't see me. i should just run upstairs. you wanted to run but you couldn't move. you were completely shocked. "y/n? what are you doing here?! you could've gotten hurt." thor said and ran up to you. you couldn't comprehend what just happened so you just stood there and didn't answer thor. "y/n? what's wrong with you?" thor asked again. you still didn't answer. you saw how steve walked up to you while he was limping. "y/n? talk to us! hello?" he said. thor shook your shoulders and then you came back to reality. "huh? what's wrong?" you asked. "why are you here?!" thor asked. "sorry" you said and wanted to walk away.

"stop" steve shouted. "come here." he said angrily meanwhile the others stood up and the badly injured ones went to the lab. "i have a feeling you might know why these guys were here" steve said. you got nervous. "uh.. no.. why would i?" you said. "they were looking for you" someone shouted from behind. when you looked you saw bucky struggling to walk. he walked to the couch and sat down there, out of breath. you were scared but didn't show. "you have 30 minutes y/n. then i'll see you in the meeting office with the others. we want a clear explanation." he was very serious and pissed off.

they were all in the lab while bruce took care of their wounds and injures. you sat down on the stairs and bit the skin off of your lip because you were nervous. your hands were shaking as another hand grabbed for them to calm them down. you looked up and saw bucky. "are you good" he asked. "yes" you said. he nodded. "actually no. no i'm not good." he looked at you. "what do you mean?" he asked softly. you didn't say anything at first. "i'm scared" you said quietly. this may be the first time you have ever showed emotion.

he grabbed your hand again. "listen, i'm not that good in calming other people down but trust me, don't be scared. the truth is always the best solution."
"no not always." you said and looked down at your hands. "it may hurt someone but it's always better then lying to them. that will hurt them even more" he said. he was a good comforter. "thank you" you said quietly and looked at him. he smiled and stood up.

he stretched out his hand. "come on it's time. now the mysterious y/n will have an end" he chuckled. you smiled a little bit and grabbed his hand. shortly before everyone could see it you let go of his hand. they were in the meeting office waiting for you. everyone had little scars with dried out blood on their faces. you felt guilty.

"so?" steve asked. "i don't know where to start." you said softly. "maybe tell us who these guys were" tony said. you looked up at him. "hydra." you said. everyone looked shocked and confused. "and what exactly does hydra want you?" nat asked. you sighed. "steve do you remember how you found me in the forest half naked with a memory loss?" you asked. "how could i ever forget" he said. "well i was lying to you." steve looked confused. "what do you mean?" he asked.

"memory loss was the first thing that came up on my mind. i wanted to forget everything and start a new life. i was exited that i could escape and that was my chance. that's why i told you that i couldn't remember anything." you said nervously and scared for their reaction. "you're kidding right?" he said. "wait so that means you can remember everything that had happened to you before?" tony asked. you nodded slowly. "and you didn't tell us?" you nodded again.

"tell us more." steve said. you could see that he was disappointed that i was lying to them. "i was kept and tortured by hydra for maybe 6 or 7 years i don't clearly remember. i don't know how they found and kept me. the only thing i remember from the time before hydra were my parents. i don't know how they looked like but they died when i was at a very young age so i was the perfect experiment for hydras new serum."

"hydras new serum?" wanda asked. everyone looked confused. "they gave me powers, unnatural powers." i couldn't control them normally. only when i was in  very much pain so they tortured me even worse." you saw the speechless faces and some tears. "is that the reason for your nightmares?" bucky asked suddenly and he sounded very worried. you nodded. he sighed. "wait you have nightmares?" pietro asked. "almost every night" bucky said and crossed his arms. "why did HE know and not us?!" tony asked. "excuse me?!" bucky said. "he heard me because he's on the same floor as i. i chose the 16th floor because no one else was there to hear my screams."

"y/n you should've told us from the beginning." sam said softly. "i know. i was scared." you said and looked down to your hands. "scared? of what?" steve asked.
"of how you could react to my powers. i started to practice and train alone secretly to learn to control them. i am pretty good at this now." you smirked nervously. "what even are these powers?" nat asked. "i can control and move things with my mind." you said. "that's awesome" peter said fascinated. everyone looked at him and clenched their eyebrows. "peter. wrong timing man. not cool." sam said. "sorry" he said quietly and scratched the back of his head awkwardly. "does that mean you were the one who threw all the agents through the room?" thor asked curiously. you nodded.

"this is hilarious. you could have just told us." tony said and raised his voice. "hey hey hey. calm down. cant you see that it's already hard for her to tell us all this? you don't make it better with screaming at her." bucky said angrily. some looked kind of confused because he sounded really concerned about you being tortured. but that was kind of responsible so they didn't make a big deal of it.

you explained the rest. the way you killed that one agent which was the reason why they attacked the tower and so on. everything was spilled until bucky asked that one question.

"did you ever see me?" he asked softly and worried, hoping for a no. you didn't know what to say. 'yeah you gave me the worst pain i've ever felt in my life and i need to live with it forever now.' you can't just say that. you were just looking down at your hands and said nothing. "did you?" he asked again. you shook your head. he felt relieved. "wait, y/n, may i ask if you still know how you got your big scar?" bruce asked. shit.

"sorry bruce. i'm still not over this situation. can i tell you about this when i'm ready?" he nodded and smiled. "no, why? it has been more than 5 years. tell us." bucky said. what the fuck. "what a sickening midgardian" loki said. "i agree" you said angrily as you stood up aggressively so that your chair fell over and stormed out of the room. "wait! y/n! i didn't mean it like that." bucky called after me. you were already in the elevator but bucky jumped in quickly before it closed.