Love Me Not - {riren au}

Love Me Not ~ 47

As the days passed, Grisha was still staying out late.

Eren got more and more disappointed until he became used to it. It didn't bother him anymore.

Something was off with Armin as well. He was more cautious and a lot jumpier than usual around him. It made Eren wonder if Armin was acting that way because of what happened a few nights prior.

He did feel bad for canceling on him so suddenly and knew he would have to make it up to him somehow.

Armin had started being more cautious around Eren so he wouldn't slip up with his words. He was jealous that night and it was too obvious.

It seemed Eren was pretty oblivious to emotion though so he felt relief when it seemed he didn't really pick up on the clinginess. He noticed his own behavior and was ashamed.

That wasn't who he was and he had never, ever felt what he was feeling. He had never really liked anymore before. The feeling was weird. It made him want to get closer, but stay far away at the same time.

He would get butterflies, but then feel sick to his stomach. Was that normally how people felt? Or did he have some guilt for even starting to like his best friend?

Beating himself up over it to then telling himself that he couldn't control his feelings was a constant battle. No side ever won.

Closing himself off seemed to be what was best. He couldn't keep falling for the other. It wouldn't end well.

The times they studied alone together, or even hung out together became less. He was only available to hang out when Mikasa was there. If she wasn't, he said he had work or had to take care of his grandpa.

The walks they made back from campus had less chatter. The constant back and forth was gone and it left Eren confused.

Eren could see the rift and wondered what was happening. Why was Armin so closed off? It reminded him of the shy little boy Armin once was when they met. The little boy that hid behind his grandpa and clung to his pant leg.

Day by day Eren was able to get him to come out a little further each time, until they were running around the playground together.

On one particular crisp fall day, Mikasa had gone straight to work after classes finished.

Armin and Eren were once again left alone to walk home. The small talk about class had fizzled out and all they heard was the cars passing by.

Eren really couldn't take it anymore at that point. Armin was drifting off and he couldn't lose him. There were things he only entrusted Armin with. "What's going on?" He finally asked.

Armin looked at Eren. "What?"

"You heard me." Eren stopped walking and faced Armin on the sidewalk. "If you have a problem you need to tell me so we can fix it. Letting it sit and ruin our friendship isn't right."

Armin looked visibly confused. "Ruin our friendship? Nothing is wrong. What makes you think something is wrong?"

"You don't come and hang out anymore. When it's just us you barely talk. You don't sleep over anymore. I get we're a trio, but the only time you come around is when Mikasa is there." Once Eren spoke he stopped to think for a moment. Did Armin like Mikasa? Was he only coming around when she was there because he liked her?

"I'm sorry. I've been busy." Armin looked down at his feet. He was never good at lying.

"I know that's not true. We have some of the same classes together and we haven't had that much work this week. I know you have a set schedule at the pet store so you're not overworking and I saw your grandpa walking the other day and he's doing great." Eren could call Armin out easily. He knew everything about him.

Armin didn't know what to say in response so he stood there and took it all in for a few minutes. Was he really being that standoffish? He said he was going to try and keep his distance, but he didn't mean for it to come off so rude. "I'm sorry. I still haven't been feeling well. I've been stressed over my marine bio class too. It's a lot of work. I don't want you to think that I hate you or that I'm trying to drift from you. I'm not." Armin ran a hand through his blonde hair. "I didn't realize I was that off, I just have a lot going on in my head."

Eren instantly felt bad for coming at Armin so strong and demanding an explanation. His best friend was louder than he used to be in the past, but he was still more introverted. He forgot that at times. "I know you don't hate me, but you're my best friend. If you have something going on I want to be able to support you and not get shut out. You may think I'm not paying attention and am too focused with my own crap, but I actually am watching you and Mikasa too. I still want to know what's going on with each of you and how you're doing. Especially you. You don't share that type of stuff. Mikasa barely does either, but when she does, she doesn't hold back. You do."

It made Armin feel a little better that Eren was at least able to notice he had been acting differently. He knew he was distancing himself, but he didn't realize how he had pushed himself away. Did that mean he should just be honest?

"I'm sorry. I should've just told you. I've already been stressed over so much and the icing on the cake was when you just dropped me after that time we saw Levi leaving the gas station. I wanted to be there for you during that, but it was like you turned your back on me." Armin sighed. Letting it out finally was great, but he wasn't being completely honest. He wasn't mentioning the jealousy. "I knew you were probably hurting and hurting alone like that just isn't good. You had someone here that was willing to talk it out with you, or just sit in silence with you. You chose to isolate yourself and you actually shut yourself away from me."

Eren tilted his head. He had a feeling that night would make a reappearance. "I don't know why I did that. I really did need your company, but I figured you didn't want to have to deal with me moping over him again. I just thought sitting in my own thoughts and being completely alone would be better for everyone."

"I get that you wanted to be alone. Sometimes that's what you have to do, I just, I don't know. Maybe I'm being selfish." Armin looked down at his feet with a frown.

"You're not being selfish. I get it. If that happened to you, you don't know how fast I'd be going after that car and slashing the tires." Eren joked, causing Armin to let out a soft laugh.

"Nice to know you're willing to do something illegal for me." Armin joked back quietly.

"Yeah, let's not tell my dad about that. He wouldn't be very happy." Eren added. "So, we're good right?"

"Yes, we're good." Armin said in response, starting to walk down the sidewalk with Eren again.

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