Noorur-rahman

Not At Ease

Angry at even myself, I left Isma'il standing there. I know he is only concerned. And again, I walk away from another person leaving him with unfinished statement.

 

I pace to the front door,  which I luckily don't have to break open. Maybe Asabe opened it when she heard or saw Isma'il's car. With a tight knot in my chest trying to put my emotion at bay, I barged into the hall way without any notice. But then,  unexpectedly, I was encircled in a warm embrace. To say I was surprise will be the least.

"Abbah!" My eyes almost brim with tears, but not again. The stunt they put in Isma'il's car was more than enough for one day. I obviously didn't expect to see abbah, wasn't he supposed to be in a meeting with those sophisticated high profile businessmen, discussing whatever. "Ain't you supposed to in South Africa?" I narrowed my eyes, releasing myself from the hug. It had been ten days since he left and now he is here overwhelming me all over again.

"Surprise!" He said merrily opening his arms, I chuckle. I misses him a lot, and this place feels like home all over again.

"That's a big one!" I agreed.

"I'm so proud of you, kitten." He added with much enthusiast. Although, I'm more proud of myself. I'm done with PIC without murdering anyone, that's a blessing.

"I'm glad I didn't cause any trouble too." I smiled at him, at least he never knew of the amount of trouble I have caused all thanks to Mr Peter, who never saw any fault with me. I was the perfect student for him, the award winning girl. We both used each other to our advantage.

"Congratulations dear!" Abbah's wife follow suit with a big smile, opening her arms for a hug. Of course, I decently  declined the gesture with a smile.

Abbah and I walk into the living room and sat on the sofa, his wife tagged along too. Soon after, Abbah and I were catching up, Asabe came with refreshment from the kitchen.

"Congratulations, ma'am. I'm happy for you. Congratulations to you too, Sir." Asabe said matching everyone's smiling faces.

"Thank you, Asabe." Abbah answered while I squeezed my face into a small smile.

"So how do you feel, Noorur-rahman?" Abbah's wife butt in, making her presence known again. Okay, this 'how do you feel' is getting me concern. Am I supposed to explode with joy?

"I'm glad, abbah is here." Was my simple reply.

"I mean for finishing your exams and all." She elaborate what she meant.

My upper lip lift up with a slight grimace,  "nothing out of the ordinary. But it seems like everyone is expecting to see me dancing and what not."

"Not exactly, Noorie. Maybe this is what I expected from you. To have this nothing is happening attitude." With that abbah squeezed my hand gently and assuring. "I will be concern if you suddenly becomes Hannah Montana."

Yeah, that'll be most weird, me being  hannah.

"When is the graduation ceremony happening?" Abbah asked again

"In five day, only family members. Then a dinner night that same day."

"Do you need anything regarding that?

"No, nothing. I'm almost ready preparing for that.

"Are sure, Kitten? It's going to be one of your biggest days"

"I'm okay, Paapi. I prepared for everything while you're away. So I am good, I will sure you what I prepared so far."

.....

"Do you want me to attend your graduation ceremony." Isma'il asked, that evening in the kitchen as I gets comfy with a plate of a big slice chocolate cake.

"No!" I said with a frown, my attention more on my cell phone.

"Are you angry at me or something?" He walk around the Island and stood  opposite to the side where I sat. His hands stucked in his pocket while his face carries a neutral look accessing me.

"Do I need to be angry at you to say no?"

"I don't know, Noorie. You're more familiar with your emotions, so tell me. I do want to be there for you.

"It's your choice if you want to come." I added and got up leaving my half eaten cake there for him.

I sank in my bed. Yet again, my mind went to the forbidden zone. I wasn't always like that over things, I have longed forbidden being attached to anything or anyone. It's just Mubin. There goes the alert. What's that?! My mind is crazy, what does the substitute have to do with my mood. I'm sure it has nothing to do with him. Anyway, Isma'il already said I'm not made of stone, which means my emotions are not always in my control. It's only logical if I am feeling down, for PIC have been a part if my life for six long years and I had the time of my life there too.

And all it took was a warm shower to get rid of that feeling, having dinner along side abbah after a while, was great too. But my mind is still not at ease, what's this all about? 

....

Salam lovelies!

I know it had been forever😌

Our university resumed for the first after time after covid, and we're left far behind the clock. So all we are doing now,  is running to catch the time.

I'm too preoccupied with everything to update, but something like this will be happening in sha Allah, from time to time.

So while we are at that, don't forget to comment, give us a thumps up and share with your loved ones.

Assalamu  alaikum wa'rahamatullah.