Lamar has been in an out it seems like i just fail on the boys i pick to be with. Lamarco comes over an he helps with lalanii an jayD likes playin with him Lamarco also helps tiff with the twins since she hasn't seen jay since the other day.
Idk how lamarco came out of no where an is takin care of people kids but he cool but what i want to know is how is Lamar just gonna leave his son an the daughter he claims as his an come in when he feels like it an leaves when he feels like it.
I feel like im failing as a parent because i keep putting people in the lives just so they can leave they get attached fast and when the person leaves they get sad but since the girls not here its just jayD an Lamar is all he talks about.
The sad thing is he doesn't even look lalanii's way he hasn't helped with her , bought not 1 thing hasn't held her nothin but she was his daughter throw out the pregnancy. Jay bet not ever talk to me unless he got his shit together.
How he gon leave her with twins over somethin so little an petty all she did was sit next to him. I dont get them at all but jay you could expect him to do that but Lamar never did anything like this. If he mad about the birth certificate that's not my fault he should of never left for whatever reason.
I just got done washing lalanii up an puttin lotion on her i put her in a black onesie an some black an white leggings with black socks an a black an white headband with a big flower on the side. I put her in her bouncer an made her a bottle i put a little pillow down an put the bottle on it an made it so i wouldn't have to hold it.
I got jayD out the tub an lotioned him an put his under wear on of course and a black an white button down shirt some black pants and black and white Jordan's i put both of them in my room an locked the door like always an told jayD to watch lalanii for me.
I already took a shower so i did my hair i had it parted in the middle an i put a ponytail at the top an the bottom down i put on a little makeup an went to my closet i know i dont have the best stomach right now so i just put a black dress on that was just fitted at the top an the whole bottom was loose.
I put on black an white accessories and black heels then perfume after i was done i got them all ready in the car an as you can tell we dressed alike.... were going to take pictures.
The twins aren't sick anymore their good. Jay isn't around anymore i thought he wanted to fix us but ig not. He doesnt even come around to see the twins at least he could see an talk to them he doesn't have to talk to me.
He doesn't even know that the girls like playin basketball when we go to the store they just point at a basketball an i finally got them one an thats all they play with. I wish i could just be back with jay an we could be a family together.
Dont get it twisted i want to be with him but im not gon kiss his ass ima just let it play out. I took the girls out we went shopping got ice cream an ate all with Damarco. He real cool i been meaning to talk to lay about telling him about the girls so he could help i would ask him but its not my place.
Me an Damarco aren't together were just friends an thats it we went to the park an Damarco helped them shoot i been thinking if it was a good idea to let them be around him but he hasn't made me think that i shouldn't yet.
I been thinkin alot about me an lay how she gon let another nigga hold my child that was mad disrespectful and she anit let me sign the birth certificate i was tryin to handle shit for her an this how she repay me.
An ion like that shit i barely be at home an when i am i don't do nothin wit lalanii cause i cant lookin at her ima just think about me not bein on her birth certificate an how she not really mine. It really hit me when she was born i was fine with it when lay was pregnant but now that the baby hear its not the same.
I know im not there for jayD but its alot goin on but when im at the house i take care of him but the only person he seems to want to be around is lay an that shit hurt. He wants her to do everything for him.
"You want me to help you put your shoes on"
He shakes his head an runs to lay
"You hungry what you want to eat"
JayD : mommy cook
"Want to go to the park"
JayD: with mommy
We don't do nothin with just us to it always has to be lay wit us or else he won't go.
I just got to the house an seen lay on the couch wit lalanii an jayD but i kept walk in i went to the kitchen just to be followed by lay an a wide awake lalanii.
Lay: lamar you anit about to keep comin in my house when you want to an leavin when you want to its either your gonna be here an help or not here at all you barely here for jayD an you sure as hell anit here for lalanii i thought you wanted to be a father figure to her but your not bein one. It was just all lies my life is so fucked up right now an you not makin things any better i cant keep bringing people in my kids lives just for them to keep leaving an letting them down so you need to make up your mind its either us or non of us.
She really makin me choose but i dont know what i want right now if i stay i could see my son but i would have to be around lalanii an that's hard if i dont stay then i can't see my son an me an lay's relationship would all be for nothin.
Me: idk what i want right now you cant make me choose cause im not going to
Lay: well until you make up your mind don't come back its not like you were doin anything anyway
Me: tf you talkin bout i anit goin no where this my house to an you got my son. I do shit around here just like you so don't come at me wit that shit alright
Lay: this my house an if i don't want you here you not gon be here
Me: nahh it anit that you dont want me here you just want to have another nigga around here playin daddy an im not lettin that shit happen. Is it that nigga you had holdin lalanii
Lay: you know her name wow im surprised do you know her middle name to
Lay: its a miracle
Me: quit playin wit me man you know i know her name
Lay: this why i didn't want you on her birth certificate i knew this was to good to be true yo plan was never to take care of another niggas baby it was all just words. Why would i put you on her birth certificate an you cant even look her away let alone touch her God forbid you smile at her that shit will never happen. Im not gon let you treat my baby bad or me or jayD so until you get yo head together i dont want you here
She turned an walked away i packed my shit an left but not before slammin the door only to hear lalanii scream to the top of her lungs i just got in my car an left
Well it looks like tiff happen got that nigga palyin daddy to the twins i be seein them around an goin everywhere together it looks to me like she dont need me an with that im back sellin im already makin my way to my spot again which is at the top i can see it now. Ima still go see the twins but as far an me an tiff im not wit it right now. I need to make my money an get my name back at the top of the charts an that's exactly what i plan to do.
Sorry for mistakes
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I'll always love my thugRomance
this is the sequel to do I want a thug if you haven't read it go read it first. the kids are growing up things are going good for them until one day someone comes into there life an changes it forever read to see what happens how will they live with...