Living With Brendon and Sarah Urie

cayden's relaspe

relapses are common, but they suck. relapses shouldn't exist for the kids who were finally starting to get better after everything that they went through. after all the extreme hell we all went through to fight with him to get better, after all the fucking hell we went through with recovery of mike and brendon. i'm hurting for my son and i am so terrified. he's my baby boy and he's constantly fighting for his life with all this going on around him.

"babe, are you okay?" mike asked me and i shrugged.

"how should i be okay right now mike? our son is fighting for his life again and it hurts seeing him in all this pain." i whispered. "this shouldn't be happening to our son. this is our own personal nightmare that we deal with everyday, and will continue to deal with until we're gone." i told him.

"don't look at it that way (Y/N). sure, cayden is our son, but you know he'll get through this without a hitch." mike told me, pulling me to him as i'm holding cayden still as we're being airlifted to texas to get him to the hospital faster than we could drive him there.

"i just want this stretch of the battle to be over. i want him to be home and playing outside and playing with our other kids and us and playing with the instruments b has laying around. i just want him to be healthy all the way now." i cried.

mike stayed quiet as we heard cayden's heart monitor dropping very rapidly into the sixties. the medical team member who is with us took him from me and started doing hard chest compressions to get him to come back up but they kept dropping. mike pulled me to him as i started screaming and crying. this is what hell feels like. my son is literally dying right in front of me and he's only two and a half years old.

"(Y/N) please calm down. he's going to be okay. we're almost to texas children's hospital. he's about to be under full watch." the medical team member told me, but it didn't help the underlying pain that's building and rising out of my chest for my son.

my whole body is going numb just thinking about how he is now and how far we still are from reaching texas. i know he is just trying to calm me down but it won't work. cayden is a strong baby and i know he is but its horrifying how he's being ripped away from us.

after what seemed like fifteen hours of watching his heart monitor go up and down, we finally landed on the top of the building where doctors and nurses were waiting. they pulled him out of the helicopter and we ran right after him. we want our son to be okay and stable more than anyone else.

that's when we saw lacey*, ross*, ana*, and eli* in the lobby waiting for us to get here. lacey* immediately ran over to us and pulled me to her. "he's going to be okay (Y/N), i promise you." she whispered.

"how did you even know to be here?" i cried.

"brendon texted us and we shot out of the house to be here. we know it's a scary road. the last time eli* went through this, we were here for one hundred and eleven days. we genuinely love this place and all the people because they made it so much easier to get things done and made us aware of the situation even better. they even helped us with important decisions that made life so much easier. we had labs done everyday, cultures, made sure we were all clean each time, even had eli's trachea put in. it couldn't be avoided though. you have to promise me you get this. he will get better. i know he will." she told me, keeping me close. i just nodded and cried more. i don't want to deal with this anymore.