Living With Brendon and Sarah Urie

Surgery Time Coming Up

(Y/N) had two healthy baby girls named Carmen Elizabeth and Analiese Aliya Naran three weeks before Cayden's surgery.
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This is so scary, known I'll be in Houston with Cayden for his transplant with Carmen and Analiese, technically on my own because Mike is home with the other kids and the girls are strictly breastfed being they are so young. Cayden is finally old enough to have the surgery and they fit him in as soon as they could after his birthday, which just so happened to be last week. Mike and I fought to make sure he would be well to continue to have his surgery on the set date we originally planned. I sighed and rubbed his forehead as I put him in his car seat and put the girls in their car seats. Three car seats, this is a lot man.

Brendon is coming with me thankfully and we are driving to Houston from LA, so we have a long drive ahead of us. He just turned two three days ago, and his surgery is on Saturday. It's Tuesday now, so we have time to get there.

"Thanks for coming with me B." I told him, looking down.

"I would do this every day sis. You are my sister, and in order to make sure I have a healthy nephew that can survive in the real world, I will make sure he gets to the hospital so he can have his transplant surgery." Brendon told me, forcing me to look at him.

"How can I still be so naive that my youngest son is going through such an intense surgery and he's only two years old? I should be shaking, scared, wanting to take his place, and I don't. I don't know what's wrong with me B. I feel like a horrible mom." I told him.

"It's a nerve wracking thing sis. It's understandable but it's nothing you can prevent. This surgery has to happen so Cayden will be a strong baby boy." Brendon told me.

"I get that, but I should be wanting to take his place so he doesn't have to go through this. He's my son and it's like I don't feel anything about it, like I don't care about him having this surgery or him at all sometimes, and I shouldn't feel like that because he is my last baby boy, and I'm terrified of having to do all this on my own." I told him, crying.

"Sis, it's normal to feel this way, Lacey* texted me and told me she felt the same way, and same with a lot of other moms according to her. This is a hard thing that most adults have to go through, not little babies like he is, but he's stronger than you think he is, and it is normal to feel like you can't do anything to take some of the pain away. You've grown numb to the idea that he has to have this surgery, it's normal, believe me sis." He told me, rubbing my arm, while trying to keep steady on the road.

"But it's hard to think that I'm not thinking about taking his place or anything like that B. I'm his mother for Pete's sake. I don't know if I should stay home and have Mike go with him, or if I should have not gone through with any of this at all and just let him pass naturally after he was born, but I know I can't because he's my son and I want to make sure everything goes right." I said, finally admitting one of my dark thoughts I've been hiding since I delivered him.

He looked to me and sighed. "I get it sis, trust me. Just stay calm, we'll get through this. Mike will fly out and meet us in Texas once we're settled and he has his surgery. Let's just get there and start unpacking in the small house we now have out there." Brendon sighed again, pressing on the gas pedal more than he was originally.

I sighed and looked to the back in the three small mirrors we have and I smiled a little bit. My three youngest kids, Cayden, Carmen, and Analiese are all asleep in their car seats and I hope it stays like that for a little while longer.

"I see you smiley sis. What's making you do that?" He asked.

"They're all asleep for once at the same time. The girls still must be milk drunk from an hour ago. They eat a lot for being three weeks old." I whispered.

"They'll be good little Urie girls." Brendon giggled.

"Yeah, they'll be good little Urie girls by nature, which I love. Eat then sleep, just like their uncle Brendon." I smiled.

"Always like their uncle Brendon. Do you think all the kids will eventually love touring like I do? I mean, like the actual process of being out on the road?" He asked.

"Probably not. Your kids for sure not because they'll miss their daddy because eventually, you will have to be out by yourself again though, and same with my kids with Mike because Mike will be on the road with you." I told him, sighing.

"I know it's hard because every time we get ready to go, and even today when we were leaving, Kylie and Kristine were angry that I was leaving, they're my oldest and it's hard to leave them behind. They've been through so much with me and Sarah already and I love how me and Sarah changed so much to even adapt to have them. You know me and her never wanted a kid, and let alone now we have a collective amount of thirteen kids running around the house, luckily five are mine, but don't get me wrong, I love all of my nieces and nephews from you. It's hard on all of us, but you know Mike is going to bring all of you with us regardless, and I'm not ever going to leave my family behind. They deserve to be out with us." Brendon told me.

"Hell, with how things are right now, I'm not sure if Mike would want us out with y'all next time due to how Cayden might be after surgery. I'm terrified that the doctors took Mike's kidney too soon and they used it in another patient, which I would be happy about because they get a second chance, but I have no clue what to do about Cayden's transplant if they did take it too soon." I told him, sighing, looking back at my baby boy and my two baby girls.

"If they need to, they have other matches for him, and two of us are with him. He's lucky to have so many matches! I'm willing to give my little man a kidney if it means he stays healthy!" Brendon told me, rubbing my shoulder.

"Thanks B." I sighed. "But you shouldn't have to be in pain for him to stay healthy." I cried.

"Don't cry sis, we'll see with the doctors when we get there about the kidney." He told me. "Now, you sleep while the girls are, we have a long drive to Texas from here." He whispered, kissing my forehead like he used to do when we were kids.

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I put my earbuds in and listened to music while my sister and her three little ones slept. She's been super sleepy, and this time, she doesn't have to worry about ever going through another pregnancy again. I can tell she's done, and she wants to rest for once, just for the way she's asleep right now in the passenger seat.

I got out of California and into Arizona, before the babies all woke up. It's about time that they do wake up, they've been sleeping for quite a while now. I'm forcing myself to drive the entire trip, because my sister won't have time to breastfeed her girls while driving, even though I'm sure she's done it before.

I stopped at a gas station right outside the border, filled the tank up again, went get some snacks, got some drinks, took some pictures with some of the fans who recognized me, and quickly left before they could call anyone else here. We have to get to Texas soon, and it's taking longer than I thought it would, but this is my nephew from my baby sister, I'd do anything for her.

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I'm sorry for such the long wait for an update. Life got busy with work, I got more hours and I've been super tired when I get off, I sleep, but I'm off after tomorrow (8/31/19) for a day until Monday (9/2/19), I'll try my best to work on a few new chapters 😄😄😆😄