Devoted Nobility

Chapter 82

Sophia

The rest of my night was filled with a strange feeling. My family was safe and I suppose I was too. The negative to that was the things it cost to get it. Almost 300 men died trying to get what I wanted and more than that on the enemy’s side. I wasn’t prepared for this. Once I was queen, decisions like this would have to be made by me. Would I be able to send men to fight, knowing that even one of them wouldn’t return. There was only one person who could help me understand this issue and that was the Queen herself. The next morning I requested a private meeting with her. She invited me to come have tea in her chambers.

An entire wing of the palace was designated for the King and Queen. All the doors I passed had engravings. A large swan was carved into the room of Grace Houslton, the King’s first mistress. The next door had a rose. I assumed this was Clara Middleton’s room as she was the King’s other mistress. I couldn’t help thinking of Lucy now. If I had helped her deal with her situation, would she have been in favor with the King and be alive? I shook my head and continued on. As I turned, I was stunned.  At the end of the hallway was a huge door, twice the size of those around it. It had an arch that was painted gold and a huge dark wood door. The carving on that door was the English coat of arms. It stood tall and proud, almost as if it was showing its superiority to all the other doors. I was superbly confident that it was the King’s bed chamber. As I walked towards it, I saw a door with a modest crown carved right at the top. This must be the Queen’s room. I knock gently.

A few seconds later, Queen Margret’s smooth voice sang, “Come in.”

I pushed the door open and slid in. I was in awe of my surroundings. I thought my room was beautiful, but hers was so much better. It was larger than the throne room and was full of candles. Bookcases were on every wall and mirrors caught every reflection. Her bed was grand and large with hand painted silk sheets. A small table was set up in the center of the room. It had a teapot and a small tray on it.

The Queen was sitting at the table with a bright smile. “Won’t you sit?” I did as she told me. As soon as I was no longer standing, she began our conversation. “I was surprised to hear you had requested to see me, but it was a pleasant surprise. I feel we don’t know each other well enough and this seems like a great opportunity now that you are carrying my first grandchild.”

I was suddenly very nervous. She made me feel so welcome that I didn’t want to ask for too much. “I must be honest. This isn’t a purely social visit. I could use some advice from someone who would know.”

She nodded as if she already understood. “Oh, is it about pregnancy? I know you may feel a little unwell now, it should subside soon.”

I shook my head. “That is very helpful, but it isn’t relating to that at all. I am sure you know that a battle was won in Spain. The lives of innocent men were lost and I can’t… imagine making heartless decisions such as that in the future. They had lives and families, but they lost them due to me.”

Queen Margret’s smile was gone, but she gave me an understanding look. “Dear, I know how hard it is. I remember my first taste of power. It was frightening to know that I could make or break lives.”

It felt good to know I wasn’t alone. “What did you do?”

She picked up the teapot and began pouring some in the cup in front of me. “I adjusted. I came to the realization that someone had to make those decisions and even though queens don’t get to make many, I would have to. I could only do my best to make the right choice and to help those who suffered from them. That is all you can do too.” She moved the teapot over her cup and began to pour. Something on my face made her smile again. “You are good. I can see it in your eyes. You shy from a challenge unless it benefits others. That is a remarkable quality, so try your best to keep it. Many despise those who don’t take risks but I believe it is a valid option. Leave it to the adventurous ones to do the gaining and we will do the protecting.”

Her personality somehow managed to bring my mood up. “I don’t understand how you can be such a kind woman and be so despised by your family.” I blushed as I realized I may have put my foot in my mouth.

She giggled and took a sip from her cup. “They don’t understand me. You and I have a connection. We were both forced into a situation we didn’t want. We had to sacrifice ourselves for the greater cause. It left a deep scar on me that may maim my relationship with my children.”

“Yes, I have heard that there was another man who you wanted to be with.”

Her face lightened. “Yes, his name was Geoffrey. I was kept from him by the King. That has nothing to do with my relationships though. I was never in love with King Louis. He and I aren’t meant to be. I felt stuck in my life. I was a baby producer and nothing more. I resented my children for it, but it is truly my own problem. I have meant to make amends but am still working on it. Alexander is my last wrong to right.”

I picked up a strawberry from the tray of food. “Well, I wish you the best of luck, but he can be a bit stubborn.”

The atmosphere in the room again became one of joy. “Yes, I don’t know if I should blame myself or his father for that.”

We both laughed. It felt so great to have a mother figure in my life again. Queen Margret reminded me so much of my own mother and I felt even more at home at English court. Life was finally settling down to a manageable pace.