The 8th Member of BTS

Hoseok's guilt

"Are we really gonna go through this again?" you and Hoseok are currently in the dance studio, rehearsing the steps for DNA. Hoseok was obviously trying to be patient with you for the past days now but seeing him look at you like he was being let down, you knew his patience was running out.

The other boys knew why you were acting like this. They saw you, two weeks back when you returned from the recording, studio crying silently, and already knew why.

The company hired this new employee that that was tasked to somewhat train you. Apparently that person, despise you. She made you do hardcore training every single day which you didn't need anymore since it has been years since you graduated from being a trainee but she said that you deserved it. She called you names whenever you fail to do something. Namjoon and the others except Hoseok just happened to pass by the room that you were practicing in and heard everything that that was said to you, from the tsked sounds to downright insulting. Jimin and Jungkook barely controlled their anger and had a hard time calming down but they knew that you don't want them to pry at something that you didn't tell them and with the comeback coming up. Normally, the boys would interfere with the situation but knowing you, you wouldn't want them to worry that's why you didn't tell anything to them.

~~~

You were having a hard time remembering choreography, with just one week left until the comeback. "I'm sorry" you whispered. You've been really stressed and pressured for the past month but you can't say that as an excuse because they were also feeling the same especially with you surprisingly not remembering the correct steps for the dance. "Why are you being like this? Of all the times that you can act up, it had to be this time. You've never been like this. What's gotten into you?" you just looked at the ground, not saying anything, scared of looking at his face, scared to see disappointment etched on his beautiful face. "I'm going back to the dorm, I'm tired of this." he said while picking his bag up from the ground. "I'm expecting you to learn all the steps by tomorrow."

~~~

Panting hard, you started the music up once again. You've been practicing for atleast three hours straight. You told yourself that you won't go back to the dorm until you actually know and memorize all the steps. Although it's been proving really hard.

What Hoseok said hit you hard, he was right. Of all the times that you can be a burden, it had to be this time. The time where you and the boys got recognized by the western media and is expecting a lot from you. Also add the she devil that caused you're self esteem and confidence to decrease rapidly. You know that you can just tell them easily and leave but you can't since she said that Bang PD-nim was the one that assigned her. Once this comeback is over you planned to tell the boys everything.

BLAAAG! You fell on the floor with a loud crash and probably a swollen ankle. Not minding it, you stood back up again and continued practicing.

You can't let Hoseok down, him being the head of the dance line and choreography, it must have been stressful for him to see you like that.

An hour passed and it was already 11:30 pm. You were barely breathing properly but that didn't stop you from moving. A little bit more.

~~~

You finished the dance perfectly, without any mistakes and that made you smile. As you were about to walk forward, exhaustion and pain fell over you making your sight go black.

~~~

"Hyung, Namjoon-ah, what are you doing up?" Hoseok asked Jin and Namjoon when he saw them at the living room. "Bea isn't here yet. I'm not going to sleep until I see her walk through that door." Jin said. Namjoon sighed, "Why is she pushing herself too hard, she already has a lot on her hands" Drinking from a glass of water, Hoseok said "She's probably still in the studio practicing" "Practicing what?" Jin asked Hoseok. "DNA" he answered. "I told her that she should know the choreography completely by later." he added.

Although Hoseok felt bad, he had to say something. He was tasked as the one incharge of the choreography, he can't let the people that believed in him down. "You've got to be kidding me." Namjoon suddenly blurted out while looking straight at him. "I've got to say something to her, Namjoon-ah. She hasn't been herself since last week, she needs to snap out of it. If it's about her personal life, she should know by now that she needs to separate that and her work." Hoseok answered back. Namjoon was about to stand up but he restrained himself. It'll be ugly once a shouting match breaks out. The two started to looked at him strangely then it hit them. "You weren't there. Of course you wouldn't know why she's like that." Jin said. "Know what? What do you know that I don't?" Hoseok asked, suddenly nervously.

After Namjoon and Jin told Hoseok what happened and what they heard, he rushed back to the studio to check on you. Hearing what his hyung and dongsaeng said made his guilt skyrocket to the roof.

Once inside, what he saw wasn't what he expected. He expected you still practicing over and over again, not passed out on the floor. He hurried to where you were lying down and checked your pulse. "Bea, come on princess. Wake up, please." he tapped your cheek and shook your shoulders slightly to get you to wake up while trying not to cry. "Baby, please." he begged. He took his phone out of his pocket and called Namjoon and told him what was happening. When he looked back at you, you were already opening your eyes."Bea, I'm so sorry" Hoseok cried while hugging you tightly. "I didn't know and honestly I was such an ass for not asking you if you were okay or check up on you. You've been nothing but understanding whenever I act up and I didn't do the same to you. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry" he added with tears still coming out of his eyes. You just tapped his arms to signal him to loosen his hold to you and looked at him. You sighed but smiled at him "It's okay, oppa. This just means that I have to work harder. I'm also sorry too, for being a burden" "No princess. You already work hard and you're not and never will be a burden to me, got it?" he held your arms and looked at you while letting a few tears out of his eyes. You reached out and wiped his tears away and agreed to him, finally hugging him and letting your tears flow down.

Namjoon, that finally arrived, saw you two hugging it out. He felt relieved that he saw you okay and called Jin. "I TOLD YOU THAT I WILL NOT GO TO SLEEP UNTIL MY BABY GIRL WALKS IN THIS HOUSE." Jin said loudly into the phone which made the leader wince. "Really, she's okay now. I'm looking at the both of the-" "Do I need to repeat myself?" Jin cuts off. The way he said it made shivers run down Namjoon's spine. "Nope. I heard you the first time loud and clear."

~~~

"Where do you think you're going?" Namjoon asked behind you when you were about to go out. "Training" you answered. "Says who?" you looked at him strangely and was about to answer him when he said "If you're talking about that human Ursula, she's gone. PD-nim fired her". You were stunned to hear that and was about to respond when your leader spoke again "You've got to start telling us everything earlier, Bee. You're making everyone worried. We don't want you hurt. You're our princess and we don't want you keeping secrets like that. We understand that you can handle yourself better than before but that doesn't mean that you can handle everything that comes your way. You're a strong woman, we know that. But what do you think would we feel if we're not there when you're being hurt." Hearing that come out of Namjoon's mouth made you falter and think. Sure, you didn't want them to be involved but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't tell him. Namjoon knowing you for 8 years knows that you're thinking about what he said to you. He walked forward and hugged you.

"I need your cuddles to calm me down" you looked up at him smiling with a few tears running down your face. You couldn't be more contented with who you were with right now. Namjoon kissed your forhead and steered you towards the living room to watch movies and cuddle. The other members eventually joining.