The Undercover Nerd

Chapter 36

London's POV: 

  

  The tears ran down my cheeks. My lower lip trembled and I knew that once again I just put myself in front of all, but that wasn't that important in that moment. Marcel- I mean, Harry... He was someone I had never imagined by my side in life. Besides, he had lied to me. The whole time he had lied to me. I fell in love with the clumsy nerd, not the rich superstar.

  I wiped my tears out of my wet face and stared into his eyes for one last time. The beautiful green ones. Those which had lied to me. Then I shook my head and turned around as quickly as possible to run out of the club. I heard the crowd gasp, again, and heard the girls who tried to hold Harry back to flirt with him. A situation I had never expected to happen.

  How could I be so stupid? How could I not notice it? Marcel was a costume, a character, a role, who didn't exist. He was fictitious. A story no one ever told me. How could he. How.

  I ran into the night, desperately hoping to find my home. I was just running in the direction Eleanor and I had come from earlier that evening.

  Eleanor. I was so stupid. I would have beaten myself if I had not been into much pain anyway. I wasn't just on the edge of my nerves, I was also alone again. Again, I had no one. Marcel was the only person I could trust, who I loved and who listened to me when I talked with him, until it turned out that Marcel didn't exist.

  I didn't know Harry. I didn't know who he was, except that he had a pile of cash and that he was in a band. An undiscovered person ... or maybe even not?

  My thoughts fucked my mind. Sorry.

  After a few seconds running, I heard footsteps which followed me. These were certain steps and I knew immediately who it was. I tried to run faster, but I was never the fastest, so Harry picked me up quickly.

"London, please, please wait," he gasped, grabbing my shoulder to turn me around.

  With one movement, I looked into his bloodshot eyes. Tears were pouring out of the corners, which he quickly wiped away with his jacket sleeve. He looked sad and hurt. About exactly how I felt.

"What? Y-you want to lie about something else as well?" I stared at him. "Go on"

  He shook his head and looked down at me. His recent curls framed his handsome face, which was now no longer obscured by big glasses. I must admit that it was pretty gorgeous. He was absolutely stunning.

  Suddenly, his hand reached for mine, but this time I didn't pull it off. I don't know if my amazement was the reason, or because I didn't want to argue with him. Although he had lied, I couldn't be angry with him. At least not that much that I wouldn't listen to him anymore.

His long fingers entangled around mine, while they warmed my cold hands.

"Listen ... you were the first girl who ever loved me for who I am I didn't want to tell you because I was afraid that this would happen. That you would reject Harry, because you fell in love with the look of Marcel. But, if you think about it, this would be as if you would only fall in love with the boyband member and not the real person behind it all. I am still me, but without you I would have been nothing. You showed me how to love again, London, please, don't make the same mistake I did..." My heart ached with his soft spoken words...

"W-what mistake have you done?" I asked, frowning.

"Lying to the person I love, because if you say you wouldn't love me, I wouldn't believe you."

   His words were loud enough to hear and clear enough to understand... and he was right.

  I loved him. As I had always promised ​​myself, I fell in love with Marcel, because of his character, not because of his appearance. And if this character actually belonged to Harry, I had fallen in love with Harry. Somehow I could understand him, maybe I would even react the same way. Who knows...

"B-but I'm afraid," I admitted, staring down. "And this is much information for just one evening...an evening I actually wanted to celebrate."

  I felt Harry's hand tighten around mine, but he let the air out of his lungs, which he apparently had held in for a long time.

"I was afraid of that, because I knew you would..." Again, his head lowered. "I don't want that you have to join something that you don't want-"

"No." I interrupted his speech.

"What, no?"

"I'm afraid, b-but I will try!" I was still unsure, and hardly knew how to answer.

  I wanted to try it, but had an endless fear, like a long list which would never end, adding new worries each day.

  How would the fans react?

  How would I cope with the attention?

  Would the press report from me?

  Would they respect, accept and support our relationship? 

  Would people make fun of my womanly curves? 

  Would I be pretty enough for the paps? 

  Will the boys like me?

  Will our love last forever?

...

  or will the fame bring us apart?

 

"No, London. I don't want you to make the decision when you aren't sure about it. What do you think about celebrating your degree and then you can tell me your answer sooner or later?" He smiled slightly, although it was rather a sad one.

"Sooner or later?" I rose an eyebrow. 

"Yes, I want you to be 100 percent sure about this."

  I nodded. Once again, he was right. 

  He leaned forward and gave me a soft kiss on the cheek, kissing away a few salty tears, before he put his arm around me, leading me back to the club.

  But I had to admit... I couldn't stop staring at him from the side.

 He was beautiful.

   And to be honest, why not try it? What could even go wrong?

But somehow I had to remember my far too long list and I knew that I started it the wrong way. 

  My fear was suddenly overtaking the love I had for him...