The Undercover Nerd

Chapter 21

London's POV:

My heart almost stopped beating. I felt Marcel's surprisingly strong arm around me. His words sank into my mind and made their way directly to my heart. I looked through my blurred vision into his eyes, which were. for the first time, released from those way too big glasses and I could finally look into the beautiful green, without a barrier between us. His hair was slicked back, as always, strictly, which allowed me to study his face. I was stuck in the moment ... Is he serious? Or is that just a joke and Eleanor is sitting behind some of those bushes around us?

One thing for sure, he was nervous, which I recognized in his eyes and the chewing on his lower lip it caused him to do. His body language told  me ... But I couldn't believe it. It all happened so fast, like in one of those bad books. He couldn't have fallen in love with me ... or did he? Actually, I was the one who had fallen in love with the shy, but at the same time playful nerd ... I had to know it the best, how fast you could like a person, like more than just a friendship.

 'Eleanor is not my girlfriend.'

"You're lying!" The words simply popped out of my mouth without thinking about the consequences.

My gaze settled on his injured hand. The blood streamed out of the open, deep wounds that had caused the broken glass of his eyeglasses. Would he do this if he wouldn't like me? But I couldn't look at him. I may had simply failed, maybe I was the worst best friend anyone could ever imagine...Marcel didn't deserve me. There were much prettier girls, such as Eleanor.

'Eleanor is not my girlfriend.'

"What?" His words were quiet, but filled with disappointment and hurt.

The touch of his arm disappeared immediately and I suddenly wanted nothing more than to put it back around me. Even in this difficult and desperate situation, he managed to calm me down, even though he was the reason for my rage... or was I mad at myself? I barely even knew what I was supposed to feel...my mind was a total mess.

Marcel fumbled with his fingers in his wounds, pulled out individual pieces of glass, looking closely at the holes they had left.

'Do you know how it feels to love someone? That you only need to see the person and your stomach starts to flip around like crazy?' 

"Does that seem to you so? Do you think I did all this, because I wanted to tell you a lie?" It hurt me to hear something like that out of his mouth, but at the same time my skin started to tingle and my heart beat became faster with every second and every word. " And if you're surprised now, than you don't really know me, London, I could do way more for you than just getting some injuries...but I guess you will never figure that out !" Should I be grateful and relieved for his words, or start to cry again? After all, it sounded like a farewell, if I'm honest.

My suspicion was confirmed when he stood up from his position, depicting himself in front of me. My eyes appraised his vest that hung down like a sack on him, his brown pants that ended just before his ankles and then I saw the shoes, which were such a contrast to what he usually wore. And even though I felt worse than ever before, I had to chuckle slightly. Chucks. They didn't fit Marcel's style at all. The shoes, his naked face, it was like as if a completely different person was standing in front of me...

'Sometimes ... you can't tell the person you love, who you really are. It could frighten them or make them back away ... and I'm one of those jerks, who can't tell the one I love ...who I am...because I don't want this person to back away...I want this person by my side.'

"Eleanor is nothing to me than just a friend for years. You may wont believe me, that's okay, but I just want to let you know that I've never meet someone like you before, someone who doesn't care about the looks...That's why I'm clearly disappointed that you think something's going on between me and Eleanor, just because it 'looks' so." My heart broke into thousand small pieces of destruction. I didn't know that Marcel had thought of me that way. Little did I know that this was the reason why he liked me.... and maybe even .... loved me.

"Marcel , I. .. I, " I was lost for words,...speechless.

"No, don't even try! Just learn to not make out the worst of everything. " He was pissed and winced as he clenched his fists.

Apparently there were still a few pieces of glass contained in his skin. For the first time that evening, I put my feet on the grass and took my arms from my knees. I didn't want him to go, let alone say something what hurt me very much.

"No, Marcel, I. .. " My voice faded as the anger in his eyes increased.

"What? What do you want to say?" He gritted his teeth, a gesture he had never done before.

It was a total contrast to what he was wearing. It matched his Chucks and the glasses-free face, yes, but not the vest, the slicked back hair and baggy pants. I didn't even know this site of him, but it never came to a situation like this though. This Marcel, I didn't want to continue arguing with him, because it was hopeless. Was he mad because I had not admitted that I loved him? Or because I had presumed him in a relationship with Eleanor? Everything was so complicated and happened way too fast...Even I never thought I could fall in love in this short amount of time...nor fall in love with someone for the first time.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, as an unnoticed tear ran down my already wet cheek.

"But then...why don't you believe me, London! Why?" He was desperately hoping for an anwer, I could understand only too well, because I felt the same urge, but yet didn't know what my question actually was.

"I don't know...Marcel, I r-really don't know..." My tear-flooded eyes focused on the grass again, while I fumbled nervously with my fingers. But quickly drew my attention back to the boy, who stood a few feet in front of me.

"Then I'll give you the time to think about it ... think about what you want and remember what I've told you, to which I've still received no response. " His voice broke a little before he turned and went away.

I wanted to run after him and bring him back, give him a hug, inhaling his scent or just to convince him that I felt the same. Where else did my jealously come from, the pain what surrounded my heart and finally made it crumble? Where from?

Of my love for him.

'London, I love you and I don't want you to leave me.'

However, he was the one who left me.

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I actually really enjoyed writing this chapter. Please show me if you do like it as well with a comment and a vote. I was so happy when I saw that I had over 100 comments on the previous chapter, it just astonished me! Thank you so much! Also, I never thought that people all around the world  would actually read my story... from Hong-Kong til South Carolina, really thank you all so much! Well..enough said, or I'll start to cry... haha. 

I saw all your commets about the shipname and I found one for Harry and London: #TeamLorry ! 

I'm not quiet sure yet, if I should use Marlon for Marcel and London, because that's a boys name...and it just sounds...weird...doesn't it? Idk:D

-Nikolina.x