This Is Heartache On The Big Screen ~ A 5 Seconds Of Summer Fanfic

Chapter 6 ~ In My Memory

"I told the boys." I announce to Sofia.

"Good. What did they say?"

"They're okay with it as long as I keep coming to band practise."

"And when's band practise?"

"Every night, generally."

"Every night?"

"Yeah." I say looking confused as to why she kept on asking.

"So when do you propose WE practise?" She asks, sarcastically.

"Urrm, lunch times and whenever I can miss band practise?"

"Oh, yeah cos I'm free every lunch time."

"Oh...well, the lunch times you are free and whenever else." I suggest. She rolls her eyes in exasperation, before turning around and walking away.

"Hey, Ash." calls Lemon. "Don't worry about Sofia, she likes to be dramatic." Lemon smiles kindly at me and squeezes my hand and she also turns around and walks away.

I remember that sensation of overwhelming disappointment in myself, I liked Sofia and I recall feeling unworthy and wondering if I deserved the part she had given me. Even now, watching it all, I feel those same feelings, my heart sinks in my chest and I feel myself slip into my memories following the film. I am no longer seated in a movie theatre surrounded by the boys. Instead, in the memory, I am hurting. My heart is hurting and so is my faith. I do not believe Sofia will want to work with me anymore.

In the distance I can hear a soft voice whispering anxiously to another figure, I lean towards where the sound is coming from. There are two silhouettes outlined through a thin curtain, they are definitely female.

"Sof, please, give him a chance. You have been rude and its not like you to be rude without a reason!"

"Oh, c'mon, I can't let 'band practise' take over, we have a show to run! Or have you forgotten!" snarls Sofia, I feel sorry for Lemon instantly, I never  assumed that the happy Sofia I had met yesterday could change into such a monster.

"Sofia, what the hell has gotten into you?" asks Lemon in bewilderment. Neither are whispering and the whole studio is staring at the curtain.

"Oh I'm not sure, maybe the fact that YOU singlehandedly picked the most arrogant, unavailable for practise guy in the whole school to do this play." retaliates Sofia, speaking loudly and clearly, not realising she can be heard.

"I picked? No, Sofia, WE picked!" yells Lemon. "This is not on me! You were there and agreed that Ashton was the best we had found! And he is! Just because he has got a rehearsal schedule all sorted out doesn't make him a bad actor!"

"I never said he was a bad actor!" protests Sofia.

"No? Well you insinuated it!"

I snap out of my memories to watch the next bit play out. I know exactly what is about to happen, my memory is clearer and every tiny detail is coming back, I never forgot any of it but watching it play out is making it sharper.

"I can hear every word you say, you know." I say breaking the girls' argument apart. "So can everyone else." My voice cracks slightly and I pull open the curtain to reveal the girls, I automatically notice that tear tracks are running down Sofia face.

On screen me reaches out and strokes her flawless face. "Why are you crying?" I whisper softly.

"I'm not."

"Hay fever?" I joke. She cracks a half smile and rolls her eyes good-naturedly.

"I'm sorry." She sighs, "I didn't mean that."

"I know you didn't." I agree, I have to admit I was feeling surprisingly nice that day so I have Sofia a chance.

"You do?"

"Yeah,"

"Whoa, no one's ever been that forgiving before!" She exclaims

"Who said I forgave you?" I ask, jokingly. Her laugh fills the air, she knows I'm only messing with her. Her whole face lights up when she laughs, it's as though someone flicked a switch and turned on a soft glow, her eyes twinkle like something from a Disney film and I feel my heart ache as I watch her beautiful face. I often think of her but I only think of her crying or screaming at me when we argue. I made sure I didn't think of all the good times, I remembered angry Sofia, mean Sofia. Everything I didn't want in a relationship I made sure I only thought of those moments. The moments when she would accuse me of something, the moments when she caused unnecessary arguments. I don't let myself remember the moments when we would laugh until we cried or the times when we would just hold hands and smile just because we were happy to be together. Watching her laugh makes me think of how happy we were, how we made each other laugh. It reminded me that we always made up after arguments, except one, the one when she left.

It's all in my memories.