When I wake up... You will be here

Chapter 67

Almost is never enough

Harry’s P.O.V

I took all the liquor bottles and took them to the kitchen. I drained its contents into the sink. I didn’t need alcohol, I don’t need it. I took a garbage bag and stuffed all the empty bottles and cigarette packets. I threw it all away. I didn’t want any of that. I wanted to change and have the temptations around me wouldn’t help me. "Almost" is never enough, because if you “almost” did it means you failed. And I cannot "almost" change for Emma.

I cleaned the whole apartment and opened the windows to let the smell of cigarette disappear. I climbed the stairs and walked the room that Emma and I shared. I stood in front of the white door. I could almost hear her laughter. Yeah, I almost could. I opened the door and the smell of Emma’s perfume filled my lungs.

I had only been here a couple of times since Emma went away. It still smelled like her. The bed was made and her stuff is as she left it. I haven’t touched anything. I didn’t want to touch anything. I sit on the bed. I caress the white comforter with brown embroidery. This bed, where we were happy so many times. I closed my eyes. I remembered her kisses, her laugh, her touch, and how she put one leg between mine as she slept.

I needed her here with me. I needed her to scold me for leaving my clothes on the floor and her to laugh every time I surprised her. That she kisses me and hugs me.

I took my phone in my hand and dialed the number I knew by heart. I waited a few seconds and after the third tone she answered.

“Hello?”

“Mom, I'm ready to change. I'm ready to stop drinking and smoking to be a better person, to be a better father.” I whispered.

I knew she was smiling on the other side of the phone.

“Okay, dear I will be here in some minutes.”

Emma’s P.O.V.

“What if we filled the pool with flowers?” Mom asks.

“Okay and we can put the tables in this way. And on this side could go the cake. You'll have cake, right?...”

I stop listening as my mother and Rose's mother speak with the event organizer. I'm sitting on the edge of the pool with my feet submerged in the water. I can’t even be in peace in my own home. I want dad to arrive home so he tell them to stop tormenting me with a party that I do not want.

All I want is Harry to be with me, supporting me. This party can go to hell. I’m not in the mood and I'm tired. The pool water was warm and the air was blowing gently. I look at nothing while I gently run my fingers through my huge belly. Ethan has grown a lot and he doesn’t stop kicking me in the nights.

That is the reason why I’m so tired.

I pull out my feet of the pool and as I can I stand. Without bothering to wipe my feet I entered the house barefoot. I go to the kitchen and sit on the island. I put my arms over this and rest my head.

“Would you like some tea?” Anna offers me.

“No, I want to sleep. I’m tired.” I respond.

She anyways prepared me an apple and cinnamon tea. She placed it next to me. After a few seconds I took the cup in my hands and took a sip. It’s strong and apple flavor stays in my mouth. Anna also gives me a plate of cookies that Mom made.

“How much are they doing there?” Anna asked me looking out the kitchen window.

“They want to throw a party for my birthday and at the same time mixing it with my baby shower.”