PIPEBOMB(S) ˎˊ˗

43 | raw aug 8, 2016

   Hello Peeps!

   I'll be doing things a bit differently today. I normally wait until the end of RAW to write my reviews, but I've realized that that takes me a good two hours and takes away a few of the sleeping hours I allot myself.

   To make things easier for me, I'll just update as the segments go.

 RECAP AT THE START OF SHOW

   Am I the only one who really fucking loves the recaps for the start of every show? I swear it's cheesy as fuck, but It makes me laugh a lot + definitely reminds me of all the Spanish novelas my grandma and I would watch in Univision or Telemundo.

P.S.

   I couldn't stop laughing at the little snip bit they inserted of Finn saying: "THE ONLY THING THAT'S BEEN HANDED TO YOU IS YOUR ASS."

   I felt like I watched a sweet lego-loving nerd say his first bad word and it was totes adorables even though he looked about ready to drop a bitch, aka Seth Rollins.

// 

OPENING SEGMENT:

1) SAWFT

   I will *Y2J voice* NEVER EVER, get tired of shouting the Sawft's entrance words. I will NEVER EVER not be in AWE of the reception these two hard working goofballs get / HAVE EARNED.

"I an't practice Santeria, I ain't got no crystal ball."

      Nearly died at Enzo's reference of one of my all time favorite songs. 

    STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN,
   HIGH WAY OF HELL,
   WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE,
    A LOT OF MY FAVORITE SONGS WERE MENTIONED AND GOD   DAMMIT I LOVE IT.

   "7 FOOT MAID" HOW DARE YOU CHRIS? HOW FUCKING DARE YOU?

This Y2J + KO aliance is something I fucking live for and I can't even tell you how giddy I get just seeing two fucking bad ass, shit-talking, egotistical as fuck gods join dark forces.

P.S. KEVIN OWENS IN PANTS > I DIG.

"CLOSE CANADIAN BROTHERS" > In my wildest dreams Sami Zayn died when he heard this. 

Chris Jericho is a fucking national treasure to me. The only way I can describe him is to take a dad bod, toy story's ken, and bon jovi.

" DEAD WEIGHT " > KEVIN THROWING ALL THIS SHADE AT PRECIOUS, PRECIOUS SAMI. "

"NONSENSICAL GARBAGE" > TRUE / but somehow that dweeb makes it all work. 

"I'M GOING TO HURT YOU." REMINDED ME OF JOHNNY CASH'S, "AND I WILL MAKE YOU HURT."

Chris has the best word choice.
"YA DIG."
 "CALM DOWN YOU BARBARIANS"
"NO I WASN'T"
"HIP-HOP HOBBIT"
"GET IT" > The sexual context between that statement + Enzo saying he'd shove it down Jericho's throat , my GOD YOU FILTHY ANIMALS THIS IS A PG SHOW!!

Overall I rate this segment a freaking 10 / 10 because the more air time this rocky brother hood of Y2J + KO get, the happier I'll be. I swear, those two Canadians colliding against Sawft has me fucking rainbows and sun rays.

GRADE: A++

the annoyance and love in that stare.

big cass's height difference with everyone is just comical.

THE MATCH:

   I hate to admit it, but between Cass and Enzo, Big Cass is the more solid of their team. With that said, Enzo's definitely improved since his LIVE concussion against the Vaudevillains. A part of me always cringes so hard whenever Enzo slides under the ropes, but he seems to be more cautious about it now + I hope that nasty whiplash never happens again.

   Chris Jericho is the veteran that brings "new-comers" to a higher status and if you don't love that, get out of here. Chris is honestly such a gem + his addition to a feud against Sawft will only benefit those two adorable babies.

   With Cass, his mic skills will improve. Not that they aren't already good, and it's not like he can't hold his own weight without Enzo (because he clearly can), but more knowledge will rub off on Cass with this Jericho rivalry.

   With Enzo, Jericho's experience will come into play + when you're in the ring with such a legend, you're damn right going to step it up and hit the gym harder to impress + do that person (as well as yourself) justice. 

   I still feel like Enzo's hits could use more "impact" or selling" if you will. He can still be a bit sloppy at times, but if he keeps improving there's no doubt that he will one day have an equally good "singles" career like Cass could/might. 

   Big Cass continues to show that BIG MEN aren't just "powerhouse" tools + that they can also hold their own in the mic + Enzo continues to show that LITTLE GUYS can be just as captivating / even more charismatic than their typical preference of a champion. 

   BIG CASS'S BIG BOOT TO JERICHO HOLY FUCK THAT IMPACT, THE SMACKING SOUND, DAMN SON!

  When they said they got your back but they put you on the spot instead > this had me laughing SO HARD.

//
ENZO CALLING KEVIN + CHRIS OUT YAAAAAAS
KEVIN: WE ARE GONNA KICK YO' ASS > YAAAAAAAS.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

I CAN'T WAIT FOR KEVIN TO BETRAY CHRIS THE WAY HE DID TO SAMI, "POP UP POWERBOMB STYLE" + FOR NOW THOUGH, KEVIN FUCKING OWENS AND CHRIST FUCKING JERICHO ARE A BETTER LOVE-STORY THAN TWILIGHT!