Change of Heart 2

Chapter 64

 I stood in front of my full length mirror and stared into the eyes of my reflection as though they were the eyes of a stranger. In a sense they were. My eyes, those of which were once a cheerful blend of cocoa brown were now dark and hollow. My face was dull and pale as though life didn't exist within it and my once voluminous locks fell flatly down my back as they dripped with cold water from my hour long shower which mostly consisted of standing lifeless under the falling water.

I missed him.

After an entire week of his absence I finally accepted the fact that I missed him. I missed the daily knock on my door in the early mornings where when answered, there was never a reason for him knocking in the first place. I missed listening to his sarcastic and witty responses to everyone in the house, especially to Satyr who he enjoyed provoking but it's only because he loved her dearly. But most and strangely of all, I missed the scent of tobacco that never left the house when he was here...simply because, it meant that he was here.

I was so angry with myself for telling him to leave. But I was angrier with him for actually leaving. He never listened to me once, he listens to no one...why now?

I was also angry with myself for saying those things to him. Of course I was pissed, but I let my temper get the best of me. During the past week I recalled the incident between us and not once was I able to identify where Nick was wrong.

"This man tried to kill Adrian! Do you not recall that? Don't you think he would've done the same to you?"

At the time I wasn't thinking logically but he was right. If Ian could do that to Adrian, what was stopping him from doing the same to me? He wasn't himself anymore. It was the creature that stole his body in control. Maybe Nick did the right thing by sending him away from the house. Not maybe Jennifer...he did. He protected not only you but everyone here. My conscience reminded me and I felt even more foolish.

I broke his hand and I knew that it had to hurt...but not as much...

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes and as I did I saw his amid the darkness. The crystal glass look in his eyes shattered. It did so in so many pieces that I was not sure if they could be brought back together. I never thought that my words could hurt him so badly but they did and the moisture which collected in those wounded eyes confirmed it.

"You are nothing to me Nick and you never will be. I can't stand you any longer."

I didn't mean that, I don't believe it...but I was sure now that he believed nothing else.

After I got dressed and dried my hair I left my room for the first time in about two days. The first thing my eyes landed on was Adrian, draped over the couch fast asleep with his head hanging off and his mouth widely open. I was nowhere close to him but I knew that he reeked of alcohol.

"Hey Garrett, what's up with Adrian?"

"Oh um, I'm not entirely sure." He looked over at him and shook his head. "He came in around 3am and said that he was gonna try to kill himself from alcohol poisoning."

"Well he certainly tried." I exhaled and tried to wonder what could possibly have him in a state of suicide but knowing Adrian it could've been caused by someone telling him that his hair wasn't bouncy enough.

When Garrett left, I made my way to Adrian to wake him and attempt to relieve him from what could only be a terrible hangover but I changed my mind just as I was near him and turned around, heading for the bedroom. Not mine; his...or what used to be.

The door opened with a slight creak and the inside of the room definitely surprised me. I had expected the room to be the way it always was when Nick lived in it; messy. Instead, the bed was perfectly made, the floors free from shoes and jeans and no signs of used cigarettes anywhere. The door closed behind me as I walked further into the room. He had taken mostly everything like I assumed he would. What was left was only a bath robe, which I think he met here when he came, a pair of boots that I saw him wear once before and a plain black T shirt. The room no longer smelled like smoke, instead there was a faint scent of Nick himself. A unique blend of mint and musky cologne.