It's always been you

Chapter 61

I wanted to tell Zayn so badly that Logan and I had broken up but I didn't want him to think he was my second choice because in some twisted way it has always been him. Three years later and I'm sill madly in love with him as if nothing ever has changed, like I only pressed pause on my feelings for him instead of reset.

"Tell him" Stephanie said and awoke me from my thoughts.

"Huh?" I mumbled and took a sip of my hot tea.

"Zayn" Steph said and adjusted her position in the couch.

"Nah I wouldn't bother him besides he probably doesn't feel the same" I replied and stoked Figaro's back as he jumped up in my knee.

"Gosh Lola sometimes you're just so stuck in your own bubble that you don't have time to see the real world" She said harshly.

"Just go and see him"

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Outside his door debating on whether to knock or run away, the running away option seemed a lot better then facing Zayn.

But Stephanie was right I should do this, I thought as I knocked on the door.

Minutes went by and I began to think he had moved away but then I heard footsteps on the other side of the door and a tired Zayn opened the door with messy hair, bags under his eyes and of course he was fully dressed in black.

"Oh is this a bad time I can come back" I quickly said and looked down at my shoes.

"No it's not but if you're here to tell me you're engaged then I think you should leave me alone I really need to move on from you" Zayn said.

"That's not why I'm here, Logan and I broke up"

"So you came here because I'm your second choice?" He asked with a bit of anger in his voice.

"No it's not like that I'm realizing more and more that I would never said yes to his proposal cause I'm still in love with you" I said looking into his eyes.

"You are?" Zayn asked with a little smile on his lips.

"Yes it just took me awhile to realize it and accept it"

"Why?"

"I'm scared you'll hurt me again" I replied quietly as if I didn't want him to hear me.

"Lola I would never hurt you again, trust me" Zayn said as he walked over to me and grabbed my hands.

"Give this..,us a chance" He continued.

"I want to but for this to work we need to have found ourselves like you have in these past years" I said.

"What do you mean?"

"When we broke up I disappeared into someone else's life, I literally haven't been single since I was eighteen and that was a while ago. I know it sounds like a cliché excuse but I need to be me first in order to be with you"

"So you came here to say you don't want to be with me until you have "found" yourself" Zayn stated as he began to get frustrated.

"When you put it like that it sounds horrible" I mumbled as I felt stupid.

"It is horrible, you expect me to wait for you for gods know how long" Zayn replied irritated.

"I'm not expecting you to do anything if you don't want to be with me it's fine or at least I'll pretend it is" I said as I felt my heart breaking.

"Of course I want to be with you I just wasn't expecting this" Zayn said and he let go of my hands.

"I need some time to process this" Zayn said and started to walk inside again.

"I love you" Was the last thing I said before he closed the door behind him.

(A/N) Messy chapter sorry about that!
This story is literally soon at it's very end it's only two chapters left so stay tuned.
Ily <3546008
//Maya

Barbara Palvin - Lola Rodes
Gigi Hadid - Stephanie Parker
Zayn Malik - Zayn Malik
Louis Tomlinson - Louis Tomlinson
Niall Horan - Niall Horan
Harry Styles - Harry Styles
Liam Payne - Liam Payne
Nick Jonas - Adam Hill
Zac Efron - Logan Smith