If All I Have Is You

repressed? (pt. 1)

Repressed memories? There were none. "D would never do that to me. He loved me and my brothers. Plus CPS would know if he was like that. And so wouldn't Bro. Even if he was capable of doing such things, he didn't have the time too. D was always busy with work. He was rarely home. And when he was he slept most of time. I didn't get to see my brother much so there was no way D could've abused me. And there is no way I would've repressed it." Why was everyone trying to make D look like the bad guy and why was I pinned to be the victim? "Saying things like that is the first sign." She smiled sadly. "Dirk, you seem like a nice kid. And I know you're just trying to protect you're family, but come on. Something is wrong here. With all the research and evidence that the detectives found after his death, it wouldn't be surprising that D thought he was guilty of something else besides child pornography." I opened my mouth to say something, but she kept talking. "He must've done something that made him want to kill himself. He did something to you that made him regret it. He touched you wrongly and he enjoyed it." Why was she saying these things? D would never do something like that, right? "He got off to little boys just like you. He did all kinds of things to you. He made you think that it was okay. He made you want to do those things." No. D could never do that. My eyes began to sting. I couldn't tell if they were tears of anger or tears of fear. "He pushed you to the limit. But in the end it wasn't enough. He couldn't get what he wanted and he hung himself. He hung himself because he was guilty. You made him feel guilty. You made him kill himself. You didn't stop him. When you were pushed into those things you didn't stop him. You didn't do the things you were supposed to. You set him up. You killed him." I shook my head, closing my eyes. No. D isn't like that. No. He can't be. He wouldn't. He loved us. He loved Bro. He loved Dave. He loved me. He wouldn't hurt us. He wouldn't hurt us. Moments of my childhood flashed through my eyes. When I got my first katana, my first katana related accident, losing my first tooth, my fist pair of shades, my second pair of shades, going to Europe for the first time, going to Vegas, meeting the cast of the first SBAHJ movie, seeing fireworks on the roof, catching Bro on fire, meeting Jake and Jane, Dave and Bro moving out, watching movies with D, showing D what squarewave could do, and countless other ones too. None of them were of D doing anything sick. They were all happy ones, even the ones were D was gone. The woman was still speaking but I wasn't listening. She's wrong. D didn't do anything. D would never do anything. He was the best older brother anyone could ever ask for. He was the nicest person I've ever known. Why would anyone want ruin that. I opened my eyes and looked directly at the woman. Of course she couldn't see my eyes, but she could sense my gaze. Her lips curled up slightly on one side, it was the look of someone who just thought they won. But not today. "Stop." She blinked a few times, her eyes, the color of the outside of a honeydew melon, focusing on me. "Hm?" I closed my eyes taking in a deep breath, and opening them to exhale. "I don't know why you came here or what you're trying to prove, but I will not let you stand here and try to convince me that my brother is a pedophile, when I know for a fact that he wasn't. I will not let you stand here and squander the Strider name. Now, please get out."

Wow, this was really hardcore. There is more to come so be prepared. Please send your feedback and I'll see you in the next update. Bye!