If All I Have Is You

Sex is easy love is hard (pt. 3)

I don't know how we ended up like this but we did. Jake was laying in my bed with tear marks staining his cheeks. I was standing in the doorway looking over at him. I don't remember what happened after the sex. How amazing that was. I don't know what made Jake so upset and I don't remember him running in here to hide. What happened?

I walked away from the door and went back to the living room. I sat down on the couch to collect my thoughts. What could've happened that made Jake cry? What could've happened that made him run into my room? It something really bad. I haven't seen Jake upset like that before. Normally he's so happy and brave and a little naive, but never sad. He's just to plucky for his own good. I leaned back into the couch and stare up at the ceiling. I really can't remember what happened. I close my eyes in concentration. That's when it hit me. I fucked up.

"That was amazing." Jake sighed. I hummed in agreement, kissing over parts of his skin. "Dirk?" I looked up at him. We had just returned from a quick shower session and were currently sitting back on the couch. "Did you mean what you said earlier?" What did I say? It was probably something stupid. I usually did really stupid and dorky things around Jake. I simply said, "No." Before going back to his neck to leave more kisses. He pulled away from me. "What?" I narrowed my eyes slightly. What does he mean what? "I didn't mean what I said. What's wrong?" Jake looked down at me, a look of hurt spread across his features. He had tears in his eyes. He pushed himself off of my lap. "Jake, whats the matter?" Tears began falling from his eyes, down his face and off his chin. "Y-You don't l-love me?" What did he mean? Of course I love him. "What are you talking about?" I reached out toward him but he backed away from me. "You l-lied to me and t-then used m-me. H-how could y-you!" He screamed at me. "I didn't do that." I was so confused. Why was he yelling at me? Why was he crying. What did I do wrong? "L-Liar!" He yelled. "I-I love you. But y-you don't l-love me. Y-you said it yourself." I messed up. I should've asked what he meant. I should've asked but its too late. "W-When, this is o-over, I d-don't want t-too..." He broke down, his sobs taking over. I stood up. "Jake." He shook his head, shaking his hair over his eyes. "N-No." He turned his back to me and ran into my room. I heard the door slam and the wails of a short island boy who's heart I unintentionally broke.

The cries soon faded out. I knew that Jake had cried himself to sleep. I sighed. Why did I say that. I thought I said something stupid like, 'You're ugly' or 'I think you're accents lame' and that's why I said no. I didn't think he was referring to that. I really do love Jake, more than anyone. He's the only one that makes me feel this way. He's the only one that turns me inside out. He's the only one that gives me butterflies. And I fucking blew it. Why am I so stupid?

Fuck. How could I forget that shit? I get off the couch and head to the kitchen. Bro hadn't taken all the stuff out of the house, just my stuff and a few of D's things. I reached into a drawer to grab a pencil and a notepad. I began to write a note for Jake. I wrote, 'I'm sorry for what I said. I didn't mean it like that. I really do love you. More than anything. I just want you to know that care about you so much. And I don't like seeing you cry, so I went up to the roof. Please forgive. I love you. -Strider-' I picked up the note and went back to my room. I placed the note on the desk. I left the room. I hope he can forgive me.
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Here you go. The end of Sex is easy love is hard. My feels have been crushed and I'm sorry about yours. But don't worry it should get better.

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