Everything You Wanted Me To Be.

Chapter 53

I find Jace outside having a smoke. He has yet again another Whiskey in his hand. He's chatting to a girl and my heart sinks slightly. I walk over, although I'm pretty sure it's more of a stumble. I'm really fucking drunk.
"Hey Baby!!" I say far to loudly.
"Hello you." He smiles and kisses my head filling my nostrils with his Smokey smell. At this point drunk Grace is out in full force, the fresh air has made me even more intoxicated than before. I grab at his cigarette. To which he responds by holding it out of reach. To which I pout.
"Come on Jace...you can't be the only one who gets to kill yourself slowly." I slur. I'm not even sure what I've just said is words but I stand by it.
"No wife of mine smokes." I look at him. He's in a bad mood. I lean past him and hold my hand out to the girl he's talking to
"Hi I'm G..Grace, I'm this rather handsome man's wife." I beam she chuckles at me.
"Hi Grace, I'm Lexi, Jace and I went to some parties together once upon a time." What? She's one of those girls? My stomach begins to churn and I step back. If I know anything about Jace it's that he has definitely slept with this girl.
"I'm..I'm...um going to get a drink with my friends." I look at Jace disappointed and walk inside. I return to Alex and he friends.
"GRACE! Where have you beeeen!" She shouts far to loud her voice fills me with energy. I grab one of the shots from the tray. Then another.
"Let's dance on the fucking bar!!" I scream and she giggles with me. She grabs my hand and runs over to the barman.
"This is Leon. He's my bestie tonight." Im surprised when she leans into him and kisses him. It's a sloppy drunk kiss but even so.
"Me and my friend here would like a proper dance." He nods and goes to the DJ who turns the beat up. He helps Alex onto the bar. Who then helps me. Alex immediately gets up and starts dancing but all these men staring at me freaks me out a second. Then I remember Jace with his former conquest and unbutton my top two buttons. Like the DJ reads my mind he plays she's all I wanna be. I belt it out like my heart depends on it. Im a good singer I know I am, but drunk not so much. Me and Alex dance together in your traditional drink girl fashion. We are both attractive so I'm sure no one minds.
"Let's give them a show shall we?" Before I even get out my question she kisses me. I respond naturally by kissing her back. The men at the bar are going wild. We giggle on each others lips and continue dancing like sluts. Im loving it. I feel free and wild and so fucking confident. When the music stops I glance over to the door, where Jace is standing alone. His eyes are dark and his brow is raised. He's furious. A man on the front row shouts "encore" "come on sluts again!!!" I climb off the bar and rush to Jace. As I pass this drunk heckler he grabs my wrist.
"Where the fuck are you going? Get up there with your girlfriend." I shake my head and try pull away. He gets in my face, this man is drunk he's older than someone in this bar normally would be.
"I said get..back up there...you slut." I try pull away again but he's stood up and in my face.
"Get the fuck off of me you creep" I manage which only seems to anger him. The man slaps me. I stumble back. I don't want to make a scene so I break his hand from my wrist. Before I manage to make a run for it Jace picks me up and tosses me over his shoulder. And pulls me away from the bar
"Yeah you take that whore home!! Imagine putting on a show and not finishing the job." The drunk man yells. Jace puts me down and turns to the man yelling. I grab his wrist. "Jace no." He ignores me and I run, or stumble to try get infront of him.
"Jace stop!!!" I scream but he doesn't hear me. He grabs the old man by his collar and smashes his head to the bar.
"Do you think you can speak to girls like that old man?" The man smirks at Jace.
"Wouldn't you like to fuck her too! Her and her little friend? Imagine leaving the entire bar high and dry!!" He's taunting him. Jace is going to loose it any second. Jace lifts the man off the bar and stands him up.
"I do fuck her and she's fuckin amazing" I wince at Jace lying me out like that to this creep. I assume it's just Jace being manipulative and dark like he use to get. Jace raises his arm punches him in the face. He continues throwing punches at him. The old man occasionally gets one in on Jace, which surprises me he has more stamina than I thought. Leon tries to break the fight up but has no luck. Jace is far bigger than most the men in here and I know he can fight. I walk over to the fight and grab Jaces arm and pull it back.
"JACE STOP!!" I yell. Jace pushes me away and I fall to the floor. He realises what he's done and panics. He lifts the old man to his height.
"If you ever talk about her that way. I will fucking kill you." The old man just nods. Jace turns around to help me but I'm already standing up. I grab my stuff off our table and rush out the bar. I can barely stand I'm so drunk. I walk out the bar and up the hill we came from.
"Grace!!" I can hear Jace shouting. I continue walking when I hear running behind me.
"What the fuck Grace?! What was that?" I turn to see his eyes blazing.
"I was having fun, just like you were with your fucking former conquest!" He looks surprised at me.
"Lexi? You think Lexi is my former conquest?"
"She was all over you. She knew you. She knew what you liked Jace! I bet you even gave her some of your cigarettes, but not me, no I'm not good enough for the infamous Jace Atlas, conqueror of women and men." I roll my eyes and walk up the hill.
"Grace what the fuck are you talking about, you were the one just dancing on the bar!"
"Because of you! You! You were just there talking to her, you use to party with her, were you with her that night?"
"Grace this isn't about her. I've just beaten someone in a bar because of you, yet again!"
"WERE YOU WITH HER THAT NIGHT JACE?" I'm screaming now and the tears are falling down my face,
"Yes." I turn and walk up the hill back to our cabin.
"Grace don't walk away from me!"
"I have nothing else to say to you!" I scream. I can hear Jaces strides getting closer to me again, sometimes his tallness hinders me. He grabs my hand. I know better than to try pull it away, it'll only end badly for me. He pulls me round so I'm facing him.
"Why does she bother you so much?" I can smell the whiskey and smoke on Jaces breath.
"Why would it not? Imagine if I was out with a handsome man all the time, when possibly the worst thing you have experienced happens to you and I'm just gone, partying with men."
"You're never going to forgive me for that are you?"
"You hurt me Jace. I flew across the world to escape you."
"I never slept with her." I bite my lip. I'm a bit relieved I'll be honest.
"But Grace, let's not forget you were just dancing on the bar like a hooker! That's not okay." I roll my eyes.
"Because everything you do is okay isn't it Jace. I was having fun!"
"No you weren't, you were trying to get at me." He's right. He's always right. I was rebelling against him. I laugh out loud at how ridiculous this situation is. He is looking right at me his eyes are dark. He's furious, he thinks I'm laughing at him, maybe I am a bit. I'm trying to weigh up my options, do I go back to the bar and drink some more, hoping he will go home, although he won't, I'm fairly certain he'll go out with her. Do I go home with him for him to probably hurtle bottles at me like he use to. Do I make up with him and fuck him because by god he is beautiful and I'm very drunk. This option wins in my head.
"I fucking hate you." I say and he looks up genuinely surprised.
"What?"
"I said I hate you." He steps towards me. I regret my choice of words. He walks up to me and puts his hands on my cheek forcing me to look up at him. I try to fight it but he's so strong.
"You fucking hate me do you Grace?" I don't say anything. I just look him dead in the eyes.
"I'm going to let you into something that your clearly drink brain can't quite comprehend." He pushes me backwards slowly until I hit something. It's a tree. His hand is still on my face.
"You don't get to say you hate me when you're drunk. You don't get to rebel like a fucking child. You fucking don't act like a slag infront of me." His voice is calm it's not raised it's composed he's closed the gap that his breath is warm on my face.
"You don't get to act like this and assume I'm just going to be fine with it. When your actions have repercussions and I have to fix the situation you create. You acted like a child tonight, which I'm going to put down to alcohol. Dont push me Grace or I will snap." I laugh at the last part. There's something about me that loves this venomous side of Jace, the side that puts people in hospital, the side that literally gives me goose bumps. I know I'm playing with fire here.

Jace shifts his hand position so it's on my neck.
"Damn it Grace. Are you fucking joking me?"
"You wanted a reason to lash out." I squeak.
"What?"
"You..you wanted to hit someone." I put my hand on his on my neck.
"You love the feeling, that adrenaline kick you get. The feeling of having no pain. When you hold someone in your power...you love it."
"Grace shut up." I can see I'm getting to him. I'm pushing him.
"Just admit it. You love the power. You are loving this. You have me pinned to a tree, only you choose what happens here. I know you're not going to hurt me." He's looking at me trying to figure me out.
"You don't know that."
"I do." I whisper into his ear. That's done it I know it has.
"You're fucking intolerable you know that?" I nod. He picks me up and I wrap my legs around his waist. My face is at his height. One of his hands moves to my face his eyes look over it and his finger traces my cheek bone. His eyes are turning from anger to lust I can see it. He leans in and kisses me, it's aggressive and angry. I kiss him back and wrap my hands through his hair. He bites my lip and I giggle. He pulls back.
"Not here." I nod. We aren't far from our cabin now. There's nothing around us but wood and snow at this point. Jace reluctantly puts me down and I walk just a few steps.
"Fuck it." I hear and Jace grabs my waist into him and turns me to his face. He kisses me aggressively and I return the kiss. He runs his hands down to my jeans and unbuttons them he runs his fingers along my clit he's teasing me. Jace pushes me back till I'm on a bank of snow. He's still kissing me and nipping every now and then. He pushes his fingers into me, I gasp at the cold and he smiles on my lips. He's trusting in hard, there's no love in what he's doing just lust. Fortunately for him I love it. I lay my head back and close my eyes I bite my lip and he's watching me unfold to him. He spins his fingers and thrusts just how I love it. Occasionally he pinches my clit. I can see his cock is hard. His jeans are bulging. He removes his hand and licks his fingers. His eyes finds mine and he smirks. He slides my jeans down leaving my bare skin on the snow, he leans down and inserts himself into me. So slowly, he bites his lip like his savouring every moment. He thrusts slowly at first till he can't take the tease himself any more. He leans down and finds my neck. He sucks at it and kisses, he bites and moans into my ear. I'm loosing myself in him and can feel the pressure growing in me. He understands and thrusts in deep and I gasp. He keeps going until I come undone around him. He puts his finger under my chin. He's still thrusting hard into me. His eyes meet mine and he comes. He pulls himself out of me and zips himself away. He steps back a few steps and looks me over. I stand up and pull my jeans up. He's still mad. He pulls me into him and forces my head up with his hand. He traces my jaw line with his finger.
"Do you hate me?"
"More than anything." I reply and he kisses me passionately. He smiles on my lips. He knows he is my world.
"I hate you too, more than anything." I chuckle back at him and he embraces me tightly.
"You're crazy baby girl." He smiles and I feel my cheeks blush. I'm painfully aware this argument isn't over yet.