Everything You Wanted Me To Be.

Chapter 28

Jace has been holding me tightly for what feels like eternity while I sob my heart out.
"We have no luck." He smoothes my hair.
"We will, just not right now." We just sit there cuddling. A nurse comes and removed my IV and a doctors signs my discharge papers. Jace helps me to the car, except I can't see his Aston anywhere. "Where's the car Jace?" He looks at me "it's at home, we are in this one today." He notions to the big Mercedes SUV it's a 72 plate so must be straight from the factory. "When did you get this?" He shrugs "the other day, I thought you'd like it." I nod "I do, it's a very, I married the CEO type car." He laughs and pulls me into a bear hug. "It's because you did" he kisses me softly but gently; scared I'll break. He helps lift me into the front passenger seat. He runs his hand through his wavy brown hair. "Your hair is so long?" "I haven't left you, except to come home and change." "What about work?" "I did it next to you. Thousands of calls, thousands of emails. I never left you Grace." I smile. He pulls out of the car park and drives home, until I realise we have driven right past the penthouse. "Where are we going Jace?" "I wanted you to be comfy when we got home, have a house to call your own. We were suppose to go shopping together, but I found one I thought you'd like, we can rent it out if you don't." He turns up a gravel drive with a gated entrances the car clearly has a chip in it somewhere because it opens quickly. I suddenly notice how blacked out these windows are and what type of car this is. "Jace this is a G Wagon?" He smiles at me "it sure is." "Did you?" "Get this for you? Of course, you always said you wanted one." My cheeks flush. I love him so much. Not because he bought me a expensive car, but because he thought to. The house we pull up to is huge, this can't be ours. It has a huge wrap around porch and a driveway with a roundabout to drop cars. Jace pulls up in front of the house and climbs out. He helps me out the car and scoops me up. He opens the double door entrance and walks in holding me I laugh. "I'm not sure this counts." "Welcome home Baby, to our home." He holds out a key for me. On it is the door key, the G wagon key and my BMW key. Jace doesn't put me down, instead he carries me up the grand staircase, it's black woods with white carpet, totally beautiful and totally me and him all at the same time. He opens the door to, I assume our room, it's huge; with a Jack and Jill closet of my stuff and his own. Our bed is massive, it has a black sheet on it with black and silver bedding. It's beautiful. He rests me there and climbs in and rests over me.
"I'm so glad you're home, I thought, well I thought I'd never get to show you this place." I smile and I pull him down and into a kiss. It's a desperate kiss, and it quickly turns to hunger, his tongue parts my lips and he kisses me ferociously like he's never kissed before. He wraps his hands around my skinny frame. He quickly realises what he's doing and pulls away.
"You don't like me anymore?" I ask him.
"What?! What are you talking about?"
"Me, I'm to skinny, to limp and frail for you." My eyes fill with tears as they escape down my cheek. He brushes them away with his thumb.
"Grace I'm thinking nothing of the sort. I love you with every ounce of me. You'll put some weight on and regain your strength." He puts his head against mine.
"There's nothing in this world I will ever love more than you, your body, your presence. Grace, it got pretty fucking dark up in here waiting for you to come back to me this time." I search him for grazed hands. I'm disappointed when I see what I'm looking for. "Who?" I ask him. He looks at me horrified and at his palms. "Alex" he growls. I sit up. "My fucking chancellor?! Jesus Christ Jace!! Where am I going to go to college, and how did you even find him?"
"I went to your college; to tell them you wouldn't be in till the new year if not later. Alex gave me a lot of attitude about ensuring you kept up attendance. I told him you would have if he hadn't hit you with his car. He got defensive, saying it was minor, I agreed but pointed out it was still a concussion, a concussion that when paired with a second one risked me loosing my wife, the mother of my unborn child and said child. Then I lost it. I hit him. He's actually quite a good fighter" he smirks and shows me his bust lip. "Not as good as me though." His eyes are dark, he's revelling in the pain he caused.
"Your place is safe at college, I sorted it. I have given them a large grant to fund some new student accommodation. Alex forgave me and understood." I'm unable to speak, processing the last 6 weeks. I missed so much. Then I feel it. It's a pain I know, I wish I didn't. I run out of bed and throw up. Not because I feel sick; but because I know it's time. Jace runs in after me rubbing my back. He knows, his eyes are black and sunk in. I didn't have time to get attached, but Jace did, he said he say the tiny bean every few days. "I'm so sorry" I whisper. He pulls me into him and holds me tight. "You don't need to be. I should have let you take the god damn pill Grace." I walk over to the bed and curl up. Into a small ball. Jace lies next to me stroking my head. I lie there still loosing our child, yet again. I cry, I can't hold it together and I cry and cry, Jace pulls me into his chest and I cry. Until I fall asleep and wake up still nestled on Jace. He didn't move, for hours he held me like that. I reach down to my crotch. It's wet. I'm leaking. I stand up and go to the bathroom. It's bad so I turn the shower on and close the door in the hope not to wake him. I jump in the shower and wash away the dried blood. I use his shower gel and hair products seen as mine haven't made it to here yet. It takes me a second to realise the door has opened "Fuck" Jace has just taken in the scene that probably looks worse that it is. "It's okay, don't worry." "I am worried, this is bad Grace." I peep my ahead around the glass shower screen and look at what he is looking at. Yeah it looks bad. "It looks worse than it is I promise." I finish showering and turn the water off. I wrap myself in a towel he's holding out. It's black which is an appropriate choice. I go into the bedroom and slip into one of his black T-shirts and some of my own jogging bottoms I place a large pad in my pants and lie on the bed. Jace walks in and gets himself dressed in a similar attire to me. "Am I fired?" I ask him and he turns to me. He smirks "do you want to be?" I shake my head "no, I like my job, my boss is an ass but he's super fucking hot so that's okay." I laugh jokingly, I can see Jace isn't in the mood for joking " you'll never be fired from any company I own Grace, even if you have been there 5 minutes and have got a million sick days. Not exactly employee of the month I'll be honest." He walks over to me and pulls me onto him " you'll always be my number one though." He kisses me harshly and pushes me onto the bed. He looks desperate and angry, I'm not sure where he intends to take this but I'll follow his lead. I kiss him back and his pushes his tongue aggressively into my mouth. He pins my arms above my head and grinds on me. "Fuck." He sighs and lifts up. "I can't wait to fuck you again." I smile. "I could give you something?" I volunteer and he smiles wickedly. "No grace, I love you but not right now, you need time to heal yourself. I need to heal a bit to right now." He slips his hand into his pocket and pulls out a box of Marlboro Gold straights. He sighs " I'm sorry, I just..I need one Grace." I smile at him and nod. He stalks out the balcony and slides the door closed behind him. I watch him take steady drag after drag. I hate smoking, hate it so so much. I want to go out there and rip the damn thing from his stupid hand, but him, he looks beautiful doing this, taking drag after drag. Running his hand through his hair. I walk to the balcony and open the door.
"Grace, go inside." He huffs. I walk over to him. I pull myself up to his height and kiss him. He pulls away. "Grace, I know how much you hate this, I don't want this to turn you away from me." I laugh "you look so fucking hot. Your black joggers and tight top, running your hand through your thick, slightly to long hair. I love you." I hook my arms around his neck and kiss his Smokey lips. He kisses me back and smiles on my lips. "I promise this isn't permanent, I just needed an escape." I nod and he takes another drag of his cigarette between his perfectly shaped lips. "Besides you'll need your teeth whitened a lot if you did continue." He smirks and pulls me in he puts the hand with the cigarette on my bum and runs his other along my cheek. "You're so perfect, forgiving and loving. I can't wait to fuck you next week." He kisses my lips gently and runs his lips to my ear grazing my jaw with his teeth. " I love you Grace Atlas, my perfect wife." This is the first time I'd heard that and it sounded like silk to my ear, I lean into him and he takes a drag of his cigarette. He's tall enough so he doesn't have to worry about moving me. I feel his exhale and he drops the cigarette into a extremely full ash tray. I look up at him. He knows I noticed it. He kisses me and rolls his eyes. "Let's go inside, it's cold."