Everything You Wanted Me To Be.

Chapter 75

I'm relieved when I see Jace through the crowd. He notices me and says his goodbyes.
"Hey where have you been?" He asks
"Sorry I wasn't feeling well. Jace can we go I need to tell you something?" He looks concerned and nods.
"Let's go out the back?" I smile and walk with him to the service entrance again. While we wait for an Uber he looks at me concerned.
"What is it Grace?"
"Jace I need to be really clear here I was threatened that I'll never see another day and neither will you if I tell you." I look around to make sure no one is watching.
"I'll tell you at home."
"Grace you can't say that and then not tell me, come on we will walk." He grabs my hand and leads me to the sidewalk.
"Who said it Grace?"
"Michael it was Michael."
"I swear to god I'm going to kill him, why did he threaten you?" I look around the street is quite empty but I don't want anyone to hear. I pull Jace into a hug and whisper as we did in the police station.
"Jace he said he has the evidence to send you away. He asked what I'd do to save you and I said anything, he said he'd take me up on that. Then said not to tell you about our chat and if I did I'd never see another day and neither will you. Jace he's going to get me to do something to save you." He nods into my shoulder.
"You don't ever have to do anything to save me."
"Jace you can't do anything. If he finds out."
"I know Grace I know." The thing is I have a horrible feeling he doesn't know. Jace flags down an Uber and we get in. He pulls me in closely to him.
"I'll always keep you safe Grace. No matter what the price. You know this. Especially now. No one is ever going to lay a hand on you or my child."

When we get home I go straight to bed I'm so tired. I really don't want to sleep and waste my night knowing tomorrow is going to be a hard day. I'm just exhausted. Jace comes into the bedroom and sits on the bed.
"Are you sure you are okay? You look really pale."
"I'm fine Jace just tired. I'm going to go to sleep now. Can you wake me in the morning an hour before we need to go?" He nods and kisses my forehead and leaves the room.

The next morning I'm awakened by Jace kissing my ear and whispering to me I need to get up. I roll over into him and he wraps his arms around me.
"How are you feeling about today?"
"Shit."
"I'm sorry." I don't know what else he could say really. I look up and give him a smile.
"It's not your fault. I'm sorry I came home and slept last night after I told you about Michael." Jace smiles.
"It's fine, I was more disappointed we didn't have sex. I was sure when we were in my office that's where we were going with that." He gives me a cheeky grin.
"So did I but growing a child is hard work." I laugh and sit up.
"Could you make me a bag up? The doctor said to take one."
"Already done it, well Deb did but I did help." I smile. Deb is like a mum I didn't know I needed. She's amazing and she loves Jace like her own.
"Thanks, I'm going for a shower." Jace glances at the clock and I can see his thought process tell him he doesn't have time to try. He climbs out of bed and puts on some deodorant his joggers and a hoodie. These seem to be his new everyday outfit unless it's the weekend or work. I don't normally like it but he looks really good in these. I think he likes it because we don't look rich when we are in them. I jump in the shower and just have a quick wash. I suddenly feel really sick and have to jump out the shower. This morning sickness thing is no joke. It absolutely takes it out of you. Jace walks in and sees me led on the floor by the toilet. He grabs the towelling robe and wraps me up.
"Are you sure you are okay?" I nod.
"It's just the morning sickness, and nerves, but mainly morning sickness." He smiles. I'm glad I'd finished washing.
"Are you finished?" I nod and he picks me up and puts me gently on the bed.
"I got you some bits for today, like clothes." He walks over to a bergdorf bag and pulls out a super fluffy and cosy zip up jumper and some black yoga pants with a black top.
"I thought you'd be warm but also could take it off if you were to hot." I smile
"Thank you. I love them." I slide into the clothes Jace got me. He looks at me sympathetically.
"We need to go I'm afraid Grace." I nod I knew this but I was firmly in denial. Jace grabs my hand and leads me out the house to the Bentley. He opens the door for me and kisses me as I get in. He's so sweet these days. Once upon a time he'd of mocked me for evening assuming he'd open the door for me. Jace climbs into the drivers seat and puts the satnav information in and pulls out the garage. I just watch out on the street at the people. I'm trying really hard not to think about Michael or the baby or anything really right now. Unfortunately my mouth once again says things before my head is ready to hear them.
"What are you doing about Michael?"
"You sound like I'm already doing something."
"I suspect you are Jace." He looks over and smiles.
"I'm trying to find out what he has. If we know we can either try stop it or do something about it. I'm not happy with him threatening you. No one threatens you Grace."
"You can't exactly kill him."
"Grace I've came to realise that we might never be safe. We need to solidify our safety. Can we talk about this tomorrow? Todays about you and quite frankly I don't want you going off on me today." I laugh at his assumption I would. It means his stupid idea is bad. I'm not completely naive to Jaces desires and what scares me more is I know he's not far off them. We pull into the hospital car park and I sigh. Jace parks up and turns to me.
"Grace, I do want you to do this, but if you don't want to I'll turn the car around and we can go home."
"We need to do it don't we." I reply and he nods.
"I think so baby." I smile and unbuckle my seatbelt.
"I won't leave your side until I have to. I promise." I smile and climb out the car. Jace grabs our bags out the boot. We walk into the entrance into the hospital.
"We've spent far too much time in hospitals recently." I say to Jace and he nods.
"I know baby. Hopefully from today onwards it will all be good reasons." I smile at his hopeful attitude but don't believe it. We get directed to a ward and walk up to it. We see my doctor and she waves
"Hi Mr & Mrs Atlas how are you feeling today?"
"Not great." Jace squeezes my hand.
"Well we will take good care of you, I've put you in our private area around the corner. You should find it very comfortable. I'll come prep you shortly you're my first priority today." She smiles and directs us to our room. She's right it is nice for a hospital. I opt to sit on the sofa, I'm not laid up yet and so don't intend to get on the bed. Jace sits next to me.
"I know." I say to him.
"Know what baby?"
"I know you are extended your business for one goal." He looks over at me unsurprised.
"Charles, his night club." He nods.
"You're buying it aren't you." He bites his lip.
"I'm not buying the one Charles has no, but I do intend to buy a few around New York. How did you know?" I look at him in the eyes.
"I know you want the power only a few have. I think you think it's to protect us, but I think you enjoyed new years, you loved the power you had that night. Jace you know Mafias are built over time with family. You can't just decide you want one."
"I know Grace. I really don't think we should talk about this today. Today we need to focus on you and our baby. Tomorrow we can talk about how terrible I'll become and how I'll put us both in danger some more. Not today though." He is being sarcastic but he's right.
"Fine. But we will talk about it." I say and he nods. The doctor comes in before either of us can think about it further.
"Okay Grace I'm going to get a cannula put in and we will get the show on the road okay? Do you mind hopping on the bed for me?" I nod and walk over. Jace is still sat on the sofa. I think he's annoyed at me challenging him but he knows he needs to support me today. I climb onto the bed and lie down.
"Just going to check you over see how things are okay?" I nod. She checks my heart rate, my blood pressure.
"Grace I'm going to have to scan you to check the positioning of the foetus I hope that's okay?" I nod and she rolls the ultrasound over. She scans me.
"Can I see?" Jace walks over to join me.
"Sure." She spins the screen around and shows me our little blob on the screen.
"It's in a good position Grace, with any luck we don't need to go near it. That doesn't take the full risk out though you understand." I nod.
"Thank you." I whisper. I realise I made no sense but it's all I can think.
"Okay Grace it's time." She smiles nicely at me. A group of porters come in. They pass me a form to sign and I do so. Jace leans over.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" I shake my head and smile.
"No but it's for the best." He puts his head to my forehead.
"I love you so much." I nod.
"Grace we have two options, I can either perform the surgery under epidural, so you'd be awake. If for whatever reason you needed opened up I'd have to put you under then. Mr Atlas can join you in theatre that way. Or we can put you under in a minute and you'll be asleep the entire time and Mr Atlas will have to wait in here for you.It's your choice." Neither sound like great options here.
"The epidural." I look to Jace who looks genuinely surprised.
"Grace are you sure you know what an epidural is?" I nod.
"Grace if that's your choice you're welcome to walk down with us. I'll need you both to put a gown on if you're both going to be in theatre." I nod and stand up. Jace is watching me like a hawk.
"Grace are you absolutely sure." I nod again and Jace nods back.
"Okay then." The doctor and porters leave us to get changed quickly. Jace looks funny in scrubs and I smile.
"What?"
"You pull off the doctor look." Who am I kidding he pulls off any look he wants. Jace gives me a toothy grin and pulls me into him. He squeezes me tightly.
"Unfortunately for you I don't intend to enter the medical industry any time soon." He winks and kisses my head. I motion for him to tie my gown off and he does. We walk out to the hallway and meet the doctor.
"It's just down this way." We follow her to the theatre and she introduces the team to me. A nice young doctor introduces himself as Kieran, he's the anaesthesiologist who's going to give me the epidural. He passes me a pillow and pulls a stool in front of me telling me to curl up. Jace stands infront of me and holds me still.
"Grace I'm just going to put some local anaesthetic in okay? It'll be a few sharp scratches."
"Okay." I feel a sharp prick in my back and gasp slightly. This happens a few times and Jace holds me tightly.
"Okay just going to give it a second and then we will put the epidural in okay?" I nod and look to Jace.
"You're doing brilliantly." He says and I can't help but laugh.
"Nothing has happened yet." He smiles
"Okay Grace if you're ready. I need you to be really really still at this point. Jace if you can just hold her curled over again." Jace nods and pulls me in closely.
"Okay Grace don't move." I lean against Jaces chest and can feel some really odd sensation in my back. It feels like 10 minutes or so goes past when Kieran speaks.
"Okay Grace tell me if you can feel the cold on both sides equally."
"Yes I can, it feels really odd."
"Great that means it's in place correctly. If you lie down gently I'll get the epidural liquid. You won't feel from below your breast but we will check with some cold spray okay?" I nod and lie back. He puts a yellow liquid next to me.
"Okay I'm going to pop a cannula in now okay? My colleague will also be emptying your bladder manually but you won't feel it okay?" I nod. This is all quite a lot to take in. A nurse has passed Jace a stool and he's holding one of my hands stroking it gently.
"Okay Grace sharp scratch."
"Ouch that hurts." I gasp
"I know that's the worst bit over I'm just going to flush it and put some fluids in." I nod I remember this familiar sting from when Jace had to do it.
"Okay you're all good. We will get started shortly." I nod. I can't feel anything it's really strange. The doctor walks in all scrubbed up.
"Okay guys I'm going to just pop up a screen as you probably don't want to see. I'm going to be doing this via Key whole surgery Grace. You'll have 3 small incisions and they'll heal very quickly. You won't feel a thing."
"Okay." I say quietly. Jaces eyes are on me I can tell he's regretting this choice. They put a screen up so I can't see. I know Jace can though he's taller than the screen. He pulls my hand to his lips and kisses it giving me a comforting smile.
"Okay Grace first incision now, just checking you can't feel anything?"
"No nothing." This is less nerve wracking than I thought I relax a bit into the bed.
"Okay Grace I'm not going to keep talking through this, you'll hear me ask for things from my team and I'll update you every now and then but other than that just talk between you."
"Okay." I look to Jace whose face looks like he's in agony.
"Are you okay?" I ask him.
"Yeah I'm fine, this is just a bit...strange for me."
"You can see can't you?" He nods and bites his lip.
"Well I can't see anything and I'm far less stressed than I was." I suddenly feel a pressure inside my tummy and it feels like something is moving in me.
"Grace what is it?" Jace asks worried.
"I just can feel it, like it doesn't hurt but I feel something in me. It's weird."
"This is all a bit weird." Jaces jokes.
"Why is it when we should think of things to talk about we can't?" Jace chuckles.
"Why don't we go away after this? We don't have to leave the country, maybe just a weekend hiking or something." I raise a brow
"Hiking? You think I'll be in any shape to go hiking?" Jade laughs.
"Shit yeah, a spa day then!"
"Jace we both know we will go home, argue about what to eat, end up with 2 different takeouts and lie in bed for 3 days till we both go back to work."
"Grace?" The doctor asks
"Yeah?"
"How are you doing? Do you feel okay?"
"Um I feel a bit light headed but I assume that's normal?" Jace gives me wide eyes.
"Why didn't you say?" Jace moans.
"I assumed this was normal."
"Grace it's not normal. I think there's a really small bleed, don't worry. We are nearly done. We've removed some of the scaring too which will help you. Kieran can you hang a unit of blood that she has banked?" Kieran nods and smiles at me. He walks to the fridge and pulls it out.
"Shit man this is your blood?" Jace nods.
"Well that's devotion for you there Grace." He jokes and connections the bag to my IV.
I smile weakly.
"Keiran...I feel.."
"Grace? Grace can you hear me?" Is the last words I remember. The entire room goes dark.