Everything You Wanted Me To Be.

Chapter 39

Graces POV

I giggle. I shouldn't but I do. Jace is hot. Even bleeding and limping he's still really fucking hot. Maybe it's the adrenaline knowing we are safe. Maybe it's the fact he just had his hand around my neck and was shouting at me like his personal brat. He's looking at me like I'm a psycho. "What?!" He sneers. He looks like he's ready to throw me overboard which makes me laugh even more. He looks to Chris whose also looking at me like I've lost the plot. Maybe I have. Oh boy I have. I feel sick rising in my throat and I just manage to lean over the boat and throw up. Jace is at me in an instant. He holds my hair back and rubs my back. Once I'm finished I turn around. His eyes are dark he's still not happy. My eyes are heavy now and I slump down the boat. Jace pulls me into his lap and strokes my hair. I fall asleep.

When I wake up we are still on the small dinghy sized boat. It's just me and Jace now. I panic that he killed Chris but when I look down I'm stuffed in a sleeping bag fully clothed. Piles of drugs and clothes are at the bottom of the rib. It's dark, it's cold. Jace doesn't come to me. He just keeps driving the dinghy. I'm going to assume he knows where he's going. I lie a bit longer and stare at the stars. That's when I see land. I see twinkling lights of a port.

When we dock in the port Jase says nothing to me. He helps me off the boat and tosses the supplies into a leather carry on bag. A car is at the end of the jetty. "Mrs Atlas" the driver opens the door, I look to Jace for approval and he nods. The driver closes the door behind me. I begin to panic he's not coming. They chat briefly. Jace walks into the drivers seat of my car. I thought this was odd. The driver climbs into a car near by. Why am I in the back? I see Jaces eyes on me in the rear view mirror. Even when I make eye contact he doesn't break his stare. He's driving really fast. I question how he is even driving with his leg but decide its probably best not to question him. I know he's thinking. I look at my hand. My rings. Where are they. I think back to the cave. I had them. I was gripping them so tight. I honestly don't know when I lost them. I start to cry. Why is all I do is cry!

Jaces eyes are on me again. He remains silent. The cave comes to mind and I suddenly have a burning urge to quiz Jace.
"Do you actually think I can't have a child?" He nods.
"Why?"
"I don't want to talk about it now."
"Why Jace."
"Because Grace...never mind the fact you have scarring, let's ignore that. Your low iron. It's so low. Your anaemic. Do you have any idea how much blood I've given to you this week? I almost died it was that much. I refused to stop because you needed it. When that baby gets to big, you're going to either loose yourself or loose it. I know I'm not choosing to loose you."
"I'll get better." He sniggers.
"I'm not sure, I think you'll always be low."
"I can take tablets." I'm welling up now. All I've ever wanted is a child. A child with him.
"I'm sorry." He says.
"You're not." I snap.
"Grace." He say's frustrated. He slams the car on and pulls over. He climbs out the drivers seat and opens the back door. His eyes are black. His beautiful grey, green eyes I haven't seen in so long.
"You can't keep saying things like this."
"Im sorry, I just, it's what I think." He leans against the car door. He's not even trying to comfort me.
"Why are you so mad at me? Why can you barely talk to me, touch me."
"I can't."
"Why?" Im getting angry.
" Because all I do is hurt you!" I look at him. He's in joggers and a tight black hoodie. I can see a bulge on his leg where there must be a bandage. His eyes are dark and deepset. He's pale.
"Let me drive." I say. He shakes his head. I slide out the back seats and stand in front of him. His hood is up on his hoodie. He looks so damn beautiful, pained of all varieties but beautiful. I dig my hand into his pocket. I feel a ring. It's my ring. I pull it out and look at him.
"Why do you have this? I knew I had it. You took it from me." His dark eyes meet mine and I shudder. He brings his hand up to my face. I jump and step back.
"That's why." He says dead pan.
"You don't trust me." I shake my head.
"That's not fair, you made me jump." I dig back into his pockets he's not even fighting me. I grab my two rings and I grab the car keys. I place my rings on my finger.
"I married you for everyday. Good and bad. We will fix this." He leans into me. His dark eyes piece my soul.
"I've ruined you, I've ruined me. I'm a fucking murderer Grace....For you."
"Get in the car Jace." I think he's drunk but I can't tell. He walks around to the front passenger seat and climbs in. I lean against the car and sigh. I've never thought of him as a murderer. He protected me. I can see the old him creeping in though. I know I have to stop it. I climb into the car. He's reclined his seat and is slouched back with his arms crossed. His eyes are closed. His black clothes contrast against the fabric. He looks so handsome. Rough, but handsome. I lean over to grab his seat belt and plug it in. He grabs my hand harshly. "Dont." I pull my hand back and look at him. He's so lost. He's dark.
"Where am I going?"
He presses a location already in the sat nav and hits go. It's 6 hours away.

I've been driving over 4 hours now. Jace fell asleep after 40 minutes of pretending to be asleep. It's dawn and I've pulled into a stop to get fuel and coffee. I'm praying Jace stays asleep. I reach into his baggy pocket and fish out his wallet. He stirs but remains asleep. I fill this huge car up. It's a BMW X6 I'm enjoying the drive. I grab us some coffees and pastries and return to the car. "Where are we?" His voice is husky.
"Um I'm not too sure. I pulled off to get fuel and some coffee. We are on the route though." I smile and pass him a coffee. He takes it and his hand lingers on my just a second to long. I make eye contact with him. His eyes are grey. This is the first time in a while I've seen colour in them. He still has deep set eyes and is pale. He takes a sip and pulls a face. "This is yours." I look at the drink. He's right. "Sorry" I pass him his and he puts mine in a cup holder.
"Let's get out of here."
I put the car in gear and drive we are driving nearly an hour when Jace pipes up.
"Pull over here." He's pointing at a small turning. I do as he says. He climbs out the car and stretches. He looks so athletic. I can't help but smile. He walks over to the trees and doubles over. I climb out the car to see if he's okay only to realise he's being sick. I rush over to him. Before I get there he stands up straight. He walks to the car and grabs a bottle of water and swills it. He lights up a cigarette and sits on a rock that's far to small for his muscular body. He runs his hand though his hair and smokes with the other. I walk over to where he is. His eyes follow me I sit on the rock next to him.
"I'm really sorry Jace. I didn't mean for this to happen. You weren't...I didn't expect you to kill people for me. I never expected that. I expected a quite life, just you and me and maybe some children."
"We can't have children Grace." He hisses back.
"We might be able to. We can do more tests. We will find out."
"Don't be stupid. I've killed people. Five. I won't have any child of mine saying that their daddy is a killer." He takes another drag of his cigarette.
"They'd never know."
"I know though grace. I know that I killed someone." I can see he's racked with guilt. It's because of me. I try to fight the tears back.
"You don't love me do you? Because of this.. you.. it's why you took my rings." He looks up and frowns and shakes his head.
"I took your rings because I was sure you wouldn't want them. I'm still sure. You're going to realise who you're married to. You're going to be repulsed and you're going to file for divorce. Infact." Jace stands up and takes one last drag on his cigarette and walks to the car. He opens the boot and pulls a white A4 envelope out his bag. He shuts the boot and returns back to me. He stands just inches from me. I open the white paper. On it is Atlas publishing logo. It's a blank divorce petition. I flick through the pages. My eyes go wide. It's a divorce offer. My name is blank and it doesn't say Jace is petitioning for divorce. It does offer me the entire share of Atlas publishing. In exchange for an NDA. I'd be the CEO. Not Jace.