Everything You Wanted Me To Be.

Chapter 44

I wake up the next day. Again, pain free. I look around and notice house keepers putting Christmas trees up. "Shit!" Jaces jumps
"Grace? Everything okay?"
"Jace it's Christmas!!" He nods and rolls back over in bed. One of the nurses noticed I'm up and walks over quitely.
"Can I get you any breakfast Mrs Atlas?" I nod
"I'd love some coffee."
"Would you like anything to eat? We have a full English, eggs Benedict; eggs royals?"
"I'd love an Eggs Royale. Thanks so much." I smile she nods and walks away. I reach for the ipad resting on my table. It's not mine, I assume it's the hospitals for entertainment. I look at the date it's the 19th December. Shit Christmas is in days. I haven't got Jace anything! I flip to a new tan and open up virgin holidays. We could do a holiday right? It's been a while and I was deprived of a honeymoon. I browse their location and settle on a trip to Banff skiing. I glance at Jaces leg. I'm sure it'll be fine.

The nurse walks in with my breakfast and coffee.
"Mr Atlas made note that your coffee must be an oatmilk toffee nut latte, I hope that's okay?" I smile and glance at Jace.
"That's amazing thank you." She sits my
Eggs royale on my table if looks incredible.
"I'll sit the bed up for you." I smile and nod and before I know it I'm propped up eating breakfast looking for holidays. This feels super normal. I settle on a glass hut on the wood, I book for Christmas Eve arrival, I hope Jace will be better by then. I email myself the confirmation. I now need to work out how to get our jet arranged. I glance over at Jace, it's nearly 11am and he's still not up. That's really unusual for him, I guess maybe he just needed to sleep for a while. I finish my breakfast and recline my bed slightly and hug my coffee. This is the first time in weeks I feel good, happy I'm praying it doesn't all come crashing down.

Lisa walks in shortly after I've settled in watching Elf on the IPad, I couldn't feel less Christmassy but I'm hoping this will help. She goes and checks on Jace, I can tell she's worried. She comes over to me and plasters a smile on.
"How is he?" I ask desperate for my day not to get ruined.
"He's ok Grace, he had a really rough night, he gave in and accepted some pain relief and he's on some strong antibiotics. I think you guys got here just in time."
"Do you think we can put the beds back together?"
"I don't think so, right now we need to be able to access both of the sides of his bed. Once he's more stable it'll be fine." I nod. I glance over at his bed, it's quite big actually.
"Can I go to his?" She smiles and nods
"Of course, let me just check you over, I'll disconnect your fluids, they're pretty much finished anyway. Are you feeling ok?"
"I feel really good actually."
"Are you still wanting us to save your eggs?" I nod.
"I want him there though." She nods
"I understand. Let's give you a check over and we will go from there."
Lisa performs a variety of tests, she takes some blood, cleans my wounds. She confirms she's happy how I'm healing. Once I'm all free from tubes and wires I climb out of the bed and into Jaces. I snuggle into the back of him. He's roasting, sweating almost. It doesn't take him long to realise I'm there though and he rolls onto his back with a wince and a gasp.
"Morning Baby." He smiles in a weak voice
"Hey, are you okay you seem....bad Jace..you seem bad."
"Yeah I'm not doing so good. I'll be fine though. How are you? How are you in here?" He looks on the bed and to mine.
"I'm good actually, I feel really good!" I beam I feel guilty for feeling so good while he's so poorly. He kisses my forehead and wraps his arm around me.
"I'm glad. I can't believe it's Christmas next week either." I smile at him remembering my shock first thing this morning.
"Do you think you'll be out by then?" He raises a brow at me.
"What makes you think it'll just be me here?" I smile.
"I know I'm doing good Jace, but I know you're not. You don't have to hide it." He smiles and kisses my forehead.
"Grace I'm fine." Lisa walks in at this exact moment.
"I've got to disagree with you there Jace." She smiles and looks between us both.
"You have a raging infection, I'm going to up your antibiotics. We think it's from your flank wound, your leg is healing really nicely all things considered." His flank wound? But he never said anything.
"Jace? Why didn't you say, when I saw the blood you said it was normal!"
"You needed antibiotics and treatment more than me, the boat only could help one of us. I chose you." My head swims.
"How did you get through the pain?"
"Alcohol." He says matter of fact.
"And the last two days? I know you haven't drunk, I haven't seen you."
"It stopped hurting." Lisa smiles she understands.
"That's why you came." She says and he nods.
"I'm not an idiot, I knew it was bad, but in the situation we were in Grace it's why I was so desperate to go with them, give myself to them. I was a dead man walking if I went with them. They'd never have been able to hold anything over us. I'd just be dead. Obviously you had other heroic ideas but we are where we are." I finally understood why he was so willing to go. He didn't think he was going to survive either way. He did though. We both did.
"Will he get better?" Lisa nods.
"Yeah I think he'll be back on his feet within days Grace." I smile and sink my head into Jaces shoulder relieved.
"I'll be back shortly for you Grace. Jace I'll get one of the nurses to push some more fluids for you and take some blood." He nods and turns onto his side and faces me.
"I'm assuming she meant to harvest those eggs?" I nod.
"You really want to do that? Like really Grace? You're putting your body under extra stress, you really don't need."
I smile and put my hand on his pale cheek.
"Please let me do this Jace." I know he will appreciate me asking for permission for the first time.
"If I don't?"
"Then you run the risk of me being pregnant, having to force me to have an abortion or you having to accept it and hating our life." He's silent, he's weighing up his options.
"Can we see if they're still there and doing well?"
"Okay. If they are?"
"We'll do it. We will retrieve them." He takes my hand in his and pulls my chin up with his other.
"Grace I want to make myself really clear here. I have no intention of using those eggs. I want us to try naturally when the time comes. I don't know when that will be right now so don't push me." I nod. He's being deadly serious. I change the subject.
"I got us a present. Well...now I'm not sure we can use it but.."
"What?"
"I got us a hotel, well it's a glass cabin, in Banff for Christmas. Our first Christmas Married." It of course wasn't our first Christmas, but I wasn't going to repeat that shit show, Jace was drunk, possibly high, smashing glasses agains walls, shouting at me for cooking to the turkey wrong. It was awful. This one will be perfect. I can see a smile on his lips.
"That sounds...fine." Jace always hated Christmas. He didn't have good ones growing up so just came to reject the entire premise of Christmas. I intend to change it.
"I just don't know what to do about getting there?"
"You mean how to get our plane?" I nod
"I'll sort it. When do we leave?"
"Christmas Eve. I wanted to give you as much time as I could?"
"I'll make it work." He smirks. He's funny trying to be strong and bossy when he's clearly laid up.
"Grace I need to talk to you."
"So talk?" I smile teasing him. He looks at me, his eyes are so green, there's nothing but love and worry in them.
"Jace? What is it?"
"I lied to you, I think that's becoming more and more obvious as-well. I maintain I'm not a junky or anything of the sort."
"Jace" I whisper. I'm sad for him. I know what he's going to say.
"When we were shot, I had to be strong for you, you needed me more than anything. I needed you. I was in pain. It wasn't alcohol Grace, well it was there was a lot of that too, I was taking Oxycodone. It was controlled, Jenny was giving me one when I needed it. Then I was getting more pain, I mixed it with alcohol. I took a box when the chopper came in. I was taking far too many because the pain was getting worse. Especially the day of the negotiations, I had alot, I was barely with it. I think it's why I was sick yesterday morning. I took one more to get me here. It's why I'm like this Grace. I knew it was going to get worse. I had to get help."
"That's why you won't accept any meds?" He nods.
"Jace if you're in pain let them help you. I believe you're not an addict. I believe you were in pain and took them to help with that. You can't have been on them for more than what 4 days?"
"I started them the night of so yeah 4 days. I need them though grace." I put my hand on his cheek.
"Jace the very fact you are here after 4 days, tells me you don't. You're not in denial. You were in pain and needed relief. There's nothing wrong with that."
"The volume of what I took, there is everything wrong with that."
"Let's agree to disagree, thanks for telling me. I love you." He smiles
"I'm sorry I'm always fucking up."
"I suspect we will both do a lot of that." He laughs. I feel like hes being a bit dramatic over some Oxy, people take that and get hooked so easily, hell I'm sure I would. With that Lisa rolls in the familiar ultrasound machine.
"Ready?"