[Insert Title Here] Paris x Reader Oneshot Book..(The Dummy's Dummy)

Oh God The Situation is Dire

Request from Terevee! Thank you for requestin'

And again. So sorry for the wait ;-;

Sooo crackheads and stuff...

How do I do this

Like, write more crackheadish than usual.

Eh, it shouldn't be too hard

Context: (Normal, Toy AU since Polakov would kill human reader, crack) On a cold, dreary night, you were stumbling around in the shop to find...

That clown baby is bald.

You're not sure why, but you want to mess with him (And as usual, Paris has to clean up the mess).

REQUESTS: Open! But be warned I won't be able to get them out in a LONG while, so if you're patient enough for it, then fire away--- also I only have space for ONE MORE so first come first serve
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It's a rather pleasant day today. Ivan's left for the library. Paris and Polakov aren't fighting. The sun is shining, and there's no mission for us to take on for the day, since we're on a good pace.

How perfect. How serene.

It's on pleasant days like these where chaos decides to strike- destroying the fragile glass that is peace. It shatters down into the void, leaving behind nothing but the tattered remains of despair and chaos.

And of course, it all started with me (gosh, who saw that coming?).

"Hey, Paris, did you know that Polakov doesn't have hair?"

Paris, who was in the midst of organizing Ivan's workplace (for the millionth time) rightfully spluttered, almost dropping the stack of paper in his hands. It takes him a moment to want to confirm my question, and even then there's a clear moment of resistance. "...Pardon?"

"You heard me. Did you ever notice he's bald?"

"Did I ever notice that he- of course I have," Paris tsked. "Why wouldn't I? And furthermore, why are you even asking?"