Dear Sirius...

Part 41

The front door opens and closes. Remus must finally be home from his full moon experience. I know he is going to be exhausted, but I have to tell him. He walks into the sitting room while I put my book down next to me.

"The twins in bed?" He asks.

"They went with Molly to have a sleepover with the twins," I said.

He walks over to sit down across from me. 

"Guess you want to talk about something?" He asks.

"I have a ticket to Nebraska for Sunday," I said.

"Seriously?" Remus said. "You didn't waste any time."

"We had a deal Remus," I said.

"I thought you would've realized that this adventure isn't as important as your own children!" He said swiftly.

"I'm tired of fighting you on this," I said. "Seriously about to go in another circle!"

I stand up and head towards the door, but I'm not giving up that easy. We have been betrayed. Sirius is in Azkaban. It's just us. I know for a fact that if Sirius and I died, James and Lily wouldn't rest until they found our killer.

"I'm going," I said, turning towards him. "The boys won't even notice I'm gone for a small period of time. And I'm not apologizing for something I need to do to help myself. You can either support me, or leave."

He stares at his hands. His wheels turn at 50 miles per hour.

I don't want to have to kick Remus out, I love my brother, but I can't keep fighting with him on this.

I know where he fits in all this, he thinks it is the worst idea I have ever came up with. But it's not a choice he has to make. I'm not running from my responsibilities, from my children, I'm running from my own fear of Remus being right.

I'm scared to find out that Sirius actually did this. That he was the one who betrayed his own family. That it was his choice to help out Voldemort. That's why I'm doing this. I need to know the truth in order to move on for myself.

"Fine," Remus said. "Go, I'll take care of Leo and Reggie. We made a deal and I'm not about to go back on my word."

I nod my head, thankful that he was able to see reason.

"I love you Remus," I said.

He nods his head but doesn't say anything else. I take this as a sign he wants to be left alone, so I make my way upstairs to bed.