Dear Sirius...

Part 17

The next day a loud pop echoes through the house from the sitting room. I look over at Remus, wondering if he heard the same thing I did. He grabs his wand and heads towards noise. I look around the room for an easy get away without risking my children's safety.

I wait for any sign of a struggle, so I know that it’s time to go. I didn’t hear anything. I strain my ears to hear anything. I stop when I hear three sets of footsteps walking towards the kitchen.

Remus walks into the room followed by Molly and Arthur. Great smiles on their faces.

“Oh,” I say relaxing. “Hello.” 

“Hello,” Arthur says. “I bring news.”

I nervously look over at Remus. I’m sure Arthur means he has found Alyce and her husband, which means I’m probably going to have to tell Remus who will have a whole breakdown. His wolf instincts will take over.

“What is it?” Remus asks.

“I found that address,” Arthur said.

“Thanks,” I say quickly. “You can just leave it to me.”

“What address?” Remus asks.

“Oh,” I say, looking around in my head for anything that could get me out of this. “I asked Arthur to - uh - find a person for me…” That wasn’t a good lie.

“Who?” Remus asked.

“Alyce Carter,” Arthur says.

Remus nods his head, I can tell that the wheels in his head are spinning.

“Why?” he asks.

I bit the inside of my cheek. I need to move this conversation away from that topic somehow, at least for now. I can try to avoid it as long as Molly and Arthur are here but once they leave, I’m going to have to tell him.

“Do you have the address with you?” I ask.

Arthur held out a paper to me. I grab it. Sure enough they were living in Nebraska. Says that they live in Valentine, Nebraska on North Valentine street. Honestly the whole address is a little confusing, but I need to figure this out.

“Thank you,” I say heartily. “Truly.”

Molly looks between me and a confused Remus. My throat goes dry. 

“Well,” she says, “if you need anything else. Don’t hesitate to ask.” She started to walk into the other room. “Arthur.”

Arthur nods his head with a smile before following his wife. Remus and I wait a good couple minutes before saying anything, that way we know that they won’t hear us talking.

“Who is Alyce Carter?” Remus asks me.

I fold the paper and stick it into my pocket. 

“I’m not sure,” I say. Which is true, I’m not entirely sure who she is.

“Let me phrase it this way,” Remus said annoyed. “Why are you looking for her?”

I look at him. He already knows the answer, he just wants me to say it. I could try to lie, but he will catch me so fast. I just don’t want him to freak out on me. Especially after he found out how I got this information.

“She might know where Wormtail is,” I say.

Remus lets out a disapproving sigh. He looks around the room, everywhere that I’m not. His face slowly contorting to anger.

“You’re kidding me?” he says. “Layla, you can’t keep chasing dreams! How did you even find this information?”

I sigh and look away from him. “I stole some files from the Ministry,” I say.

“You what?!” he says, eyes wide as if they were going to pop out of his own head. “Tell me you’re kidding. Please.”
Remus slumps down in a chair. He puts his head in his hands, shaking it back and forth trying to take in all this information. I should’ve known that there would be a time that I was going to have to tell him, but he just looks so disappointed in me. What have I done?

“You need to let it go,” he whispers. “Sirius killed them.”

I shake my head. “I can’t,” I whisper back. “I… I can’t.”'

I sit down across from Remus. He stands up and walks across the kitchen. Did I just lose my own brother?

“I’m sorry,” I say through tears. “I don’t believe it. Maybe I should’ve told you about what I was thinking, maybe that would've been good for you then? So you could stop me from doing it. From finding a way to get your best friend out of Azkaban. The man who - mind you - never cared about who you are. And then you throw him out of your life because of something that has little proof.”

“Really?” Remus says disbelievingly. “He was the Secret Keeper! He knew where they were. His family was with Voldemort! How much longer do we need to have this conversation for you to see reason? You are acting like a child!”

“A child?” I snap. “If you want to call me a child, go ahead. But at least I’m doing my own search. Finding things that make zero sense in this whole case -”

“- It’s not a case! He betrayed us! And if you do find a way for him to get out, then he will do it again...”

“You want to know why I think it’s Peter so bad?”

“Yes.”

I look around the room, anger filling my whole body. I look back at him, the same anger I feel sits in his eyes.

“All that was left of him was a finger,” I say. “No other proof that he was detached from his body. The night Lily and James died, he was acting jumpy and scared for some reason.”

Remus opens his mouth to say something but I stop him. “I know that’s always how he acts but this was different. Plus I lived with Sirius, I would’ve known if he was helping Voldemort!”

“But you wouldn’t!” Remus screams. “Voldemort was smart and crafty! He can be very persuasive! He can even fool you.”

I let out an exasperated breath. This was useless. I’m not going to sit here and fight Remus on something he won’t see reason to. I don’t even dare to tell him about his file. He will just make something up to explain that.

“This is ruining us,” Remus said. “We both need to find some compromise.”

“Like what?” I ask angrily.

He takes in a deep breath. “I know you don’t want to give up, and I still think you should. So, you look into this, and only this. If there is no sign that Peter is alive, and I mean alive, then you drop it. I won't get mad whenever you bring it up and support I'll you through it. But once you know he is dead, then you take care of Harry and your two boys. Stop chasing something that isn’t there.”

I think this through. This is a really good compromise. I get to make sure that Peter is actually alive, and Remus won't be upset about it. Plus if it is a dead end, I can raise my boys and try to get Harry away from his awful aunt and uncle. But then what about Sirius? I promised I would help him get out of Azkaban, I can't just break that. But I don't want to lose Remus just because of my pride.

"Okay," I said. "If this is the only way we can stick together, then I'm willing to compromise."

Remus nods his head. I can tell he is still upset. That he is holding back a lot of his rage.

I can't believe that I did this, that I really just gambled away my chances of helping Sirius. I know I should probably see what Alyce says before I freak out, but what if she really doesn't know? Sirius wouldn't want me to waste away trying to find potholes in every story, but that's not the point. He is twenty-one, he shouldn't be condemned to a life in Azkaban for something I believe he didn’t do. But I also know that I can't balance the mother and detective parts at the same time.

I guess I'll just have to wait and see what I find...