Dear Sirius...

Part 6

Five Years Earlier

Sirius and I run out of the Yule ball dance, down towards the Black Lake. Everyone else was still inside dancing their hearts out. Lily and James having the best time of their life, even Remus was enjoying himself.

Sirius wraps his arm around me as we walk the edge of the lake. My cheeks go hot from physical contact.

"Lottie?" he says after a moment. "Do you see me in your life? Like after Hogwarts?"

I ponder this for a moment. I already know the answer, but it's good to think things through sometimes.

"You wanna know what I see for our future?" I ask him.

"Yes," he says, "very much so."

"I see us buying a house," I start, "not one like James's. More of a warm cottage type. We have four kids, three boys and one girl, all of which have your hair and eye color. We teach them all about Quidditch, mostly because James wouldn't have it any other way. The kitchen full of laughter. And every Saturday we go to Lily and James's for brunch and let the kids run rampant through their house.

"We buy another dog, not just you being the only dog in the house. This one is for the children to take care of. And sometimes we will change into our Animagus forms and run through the back yard with them. While I hope and pray they won't step on me, but I am pretty fast in my otter form.

"Then before we know it, they slowly start to pair off and get married, only if they want to of course. And the house falls silent, but that's okay. We still have all those happy memories built within those walls. We become grandparents and grow old together and die together, because I don't see a life without you in it."

Sirius smiles at me. The most loving affection one could possibly have glistens in his eyes. I hope he sees the same future as me, it would be kind of awkward if he doesn't.

"Marry me," he says.

I laugh and stop walking. "You can't be serious?" I ask him.

"As serious as my name," he says.

I look down at the ground, the wheels turning in my head, the very faint laughter of passing students echo through the night.

"We're seventeen, Sirius," I say.

"So," he says. "I don't see a future without you in it. Honest. Look," - he reaches out for my hand - "even if you don't want to get married right now, I'm willing to wait. I will always wait for you. Just say the word."

His eyes hold out hope. My common sense and impulsiveness clashing with one another. On one side, I would marry this man in an instant. While on the other, we still have school that we should be focusing on. Not trying to figure out wedding details.

"No," I say, "but ask me again once we graduate. My answer may change."

Sirius sweeps me into a great hug. I look down at his watch, we have ten minutes before curfew is enabled. I grab onto his arm as we slowly make our way back to the school. Everything about this night is spectacular. From the ball, to the stars, to the company. Everything is perfect.

We meet up with everyone else. James has his arm over Lily, who is staring up at him with loving eyes. I rush over to her, pulling her away from him. We have much to discuss.

"You boys have fun," I say, pulling her along with me. "Don't get in too much trouble while we're gone."

"Never," Sirius and James said together.

Lily and I make our way up to Gryffindor tower, laughing about some joke James told during the dance. Once we crossed the fat lady's portrait I jumped into my story.

"He seriously asked you?" Lily says. "You said no right? You both are young."

"Oh," I say rolling my eyes. "Just because we're young doesn't mean we can make actual decisions?"

"You're supposed to make mistakes before you find the one," she said. "Just like how I dated Jordan before James. You've only dated Sirius!"

We make our way into our dormitories. I flop down onto my bed in an exasperated sigh.

"Sometimes you just find the right person first try," I say. "The other half of the puzzle piece that's been missing for years. Then everything fits into place. Lily," - I turn to her - "it's not like it just happened. We've been together since we were fifteen."

"You must really love him," she said, getting out of her dress.

"Oh, but you see, I do!" I say. "The way his eyes sparkle with adventure whenever someone brings up something that is against the rules. How crooked his smile is if you stare long enough. His 'take nothing' attitude when someone is being cross. How his hair looks in the morning before he does it. His forest scent whenever he turns back into his human form..."

I stop talking. Lost within my own head full of thoughts of why I love Sirius Black. Hundreds of memories flash before my eyes, each one stronger than the last.

"Well blimey," Lily says, "if you don't marry Sirius then something must've seriously gone wrong."

We both erupt into laughter. She did have a point, but nothing could ever separate me and Sirius. We both are too strong-willed to let that happen.
We stay up talking for a little longer. We wait for Marlene to get back. Hopefully she won’t be gone for much longer. Through her and her date were the life of the ball. After me and Sirius of course. 

Me and Lily talk mostly about how the dance went for Lily. The way she talks about James makes me know that he is her puzzle piece. If they don't get married, then I lose all hope for love.