Dear Sirius...

Part 33

The next couple months have been a haze. It’s like I'm alive but I'm not entirely living. I do the same thing day after day. I get up, get the boys ready for the day, make breakfast, go to a job that I absolutely hate, come home, cook dinner, and go to bed to repeat the same schedule. There are those moments of happiness, especially with the twins. Their speaking skills improve by the day and especially with Remus home to help watch them. 

Everything is perfect... but I feel empty.

I took the day off again. November 3rd. I promised myself that I won't sit in bed all day today. October 31st was tough to get through, but I did it. So, I want to be able to get through this day. All I have to do is not think about how Sirius would be 23 today and ignore the pain it brings me. Just like our wedding anniversary.

I grab some parchment and ink. I sit staring at the blank paper for a solid thirty minutes. I have no idea what to write, but I need to write something to him. That'll hopefully get me through the day.

Dear Sirius,

Just come home...

Lottie

I put the letter with the rest. I know it's not the best, but I am desperate for something. To feel something, to see him, to hear him, I need him.

I walk into the kitchen, the confidential files still laying in a pile on the counter. I need to get those back to their spots as soon as possible.

I put a pot on the stove to make Remus and I tea. Wasn’t long until he walked into the kitchen, both boys still asleep in their cribs.

"Got anything planned for the day?" Remus asks me.

"Just some shopping," I answer.

The pot on the stove screams. I grab it and pour some hot water in two cups. Handing one to Remus with a tea bag inside.

"What are you doing today?" I ask him.

"Going to the Ministry," he answers. "Seeing if they have a job opportunity."

"For your sake," I say, "I hope they do."

"Me too," he said.

We both go silent taking sips from our cups. I'm enjoying the silence before the boys wake up and reek havoc throughout the house.

Later in the day, me and the boys finally get home from shopping. Remus sits in the sitting room reading a book.

"Find any jobs?" I ask.

"None that will take a werewolf," he said, setting the book down.

"You'll find something," I said.

I grab the boys, take them into the kitchen, and put them into their highchairs. Remus follows in a couple minutes later.

I start making some dinner, food that the twins could eat and some that me and Remus could eat.

It was something easy. The twins had some apple sauce with some noodles. Remus and I had the leftover noodles with spaghetti sauce.

"I picked something up for you on my way back," Remus said.

"Really?" I ask.

He walks out of the kitchen to grab the gift. I clean the twins up from their messy dinner. A couple minutes later, Remus returns with a plate.

He hands it to me with a smile. An emerald green plate lined with gold vines.

"Thought you'd like it," he said, "because it -"

"- It’s just like mom's old set," I finished. "This is amazing. Thank you."

I walk over to the cabinet but trip on my footing. I slowly fall to the ground, dropping the plate to brace myself for the impact. The sound of glass breaking echoes throughout my ears.

What did I do?