Dear Sirius...

Part 19

October 31st rounds the corner in a blink of an eye. I saw Harry on his birthday, granted from a very far distance, but he did seem like he was enjoying his second birthday. I try to go once a month, if my new job doesn't get in the way. I needed to get out of the house. I was going crazy staying cooped up all day. Plus someone has to be making money, we can’t always live off Sirius’s inheritance.

My boss isn’t completely horrible. He just doesn’t understand when I have to leave early for family emergencies. It’s not like I’m working for the Ministry of Magic. I’m trying to stay away from the Ministry. Who knows if they do know that I stole those papers and just waiting for me to come back to integrate me.

At least today I have the day off. The rest of the company is working today, but I needed it off. It’s the anniversary of James and Lily’s death, plus the day Sirius was ripped from my life. Today is going to be really tough for me and Remus.

I walk about the kitchen, making tea for me and Remus while holding a baby Leo. Remus has Regulus in his arms. I swear Regulus loves Remus more than his own mother. Remus is great, but I would like to bond with my other son.

“So,” I question Remus, “what are you planning on doing today?”

Remus shakes his head, all his attention on Regulus. He does this when I bring up Halloween. I know it hit him just as hard as it hit me, he just wants to be the older brother and ignore his feelings.

“Well since you’re going to ignore me,” I say a little angry. “I have a plan for finding Alyce Peverell.”

Remus looks up at me with wide eyes. I know he wants to say something, but he knows we have a plan. I have been thinking about finding Alyce more recently. I just want to know about what they know.

“And what is it?” Remus asks uninterested.

“Once the boy’s turn four,” I start, “and Harry turns five, I’m going to America to find them.”

Remus nods his head slowly, taking in the words. I feel like this would be the best plan for everyone involved. I get to watch my boys grow up into toddlers and I'm not giving up my search to help free Sirius.

"Do you think your job will allow you to be gone that long?" Remus asks.

"I was planning on quitting," I sigh. "I'm not very good at the secretary job."

I hand Leo to Remus while grabbing Regulus from his arms, I would like to bond with him. Regulus fusses before finally settling down once he realizes it's just me. Leo on the other hand didn't like that I handed him off to uncle Remus, but he has to get used to it at some point.

"You'll have plenty of money," I say. "And I'm sure Andromeda wouldn't mind watching the twins while there's a full moon."

Remus stiffens. It must not have crossed his mind that at some point there will be a full moon. He can't watch two babies, while in his wolf form.

"How long are you planning on being gone?" He snaps.

"Well," I start, "Hopefully no longer than a month and a half."

"A month and a half?" Remus asks, standing abruptly. "You're going to leave your children for a month and a half? What am I supposed to tell them when they want their mother?!"

"They will know why I went to America," I say. "They will understand."

"What happens if I hurt them?" Remus says in a whisper.

The mood in the room became a dark one. I know his biggest fear is hurting someone he loves, or really hurting anyone. That's why he locks himself up every full moon.

"Remus," I say, "you would never hurt them. You're too organized to even try."

Remus lets out a small laugh, at least that kinda cheered him up. I have four years to help get him on board with this plan. I know he doesn't like it now, but he better learn.