CHARADES (Namjin.)

CHAPTER FIFTY SEVEN.

Namjoon.

"I am sorry."

I feel Seokjin's cold fingers loosen in my grip, his body going slack, before his frame leans back on me, almost like his breath has been knocked out of him. I can't blame him, I feel my own legs wobble at the news, ears ringing with the same words over and over. There is just this suffocating silence, this thick chocking atmosphere that stands still amongst us, our only savior, the man in blues, the same on that holds our answers right now.

This is messed up, this is the meanest thing the universe could ever do to us, every one of us, and it makes me sick to my stomach, my own fingers letting go of Seokjin's.

"We tried everything we could, I am sorry, we couldn't save the baby." More silence rings amongst us, and for a moment I think he's got the wrong patient, we all do, until Jimin perks up between us, clearing his throat.
"The baby?" He questions lowly, but incredulously at the same time, surprise present for him like it is for us.

"He was seven weeks along, but unfortunately the dosage was too strong for the embryo, it couldn't make it." With each additional news, I feel my head whirl even stronger, the magnitude of everything too strong to bare. He was pregnant, seven weeks pregnant? By who? I feel Seokjin stiffen on me, and slowly his head turns to the left, the direction Jungkook is stood, and there is just shock on him, pain, and so many more indecipherable emotions that flick through his face, and its only then that I realise the lack of surprise for Jungkook.

He's hurt by the news alright, but he looks fairly informed of the pregnancy, like he knew, or at least has known, and it makes me question more about what is going on. During these past few days I have come by lot of information about their personal lives, affairs and allegations of cheating, and when I didn't know how or the full information for that matter, I didn't think it was something of this magnitude, could have never guessed something like this could ever happen. That Hoseok would be fighting for his life, loose a baby, Jungkook's baby...

"Is he at least ok?" Jungkook asks despite the eyes on him, all of us holding our breathes as the doctor sighs. "He's in critical condition right now, and we can't say for sure if he'll be alright. He ingested three different types of pills, dangerously on dosage, and although we tried our best we can't completely say he'll be fine. He did throw up most of the contents of his stomach in his sleep, and that's a little hope, but the damage to him has been done nonetheless. We are still running more blood tests, but honestly at this point there nothing more that we can do. Its up to him to pull through."

Seokjin visibly shudders in front of me, and I know he's probably breaking apart at the thought of that, the thought of Hoseok having to fight to pull through. The latter is probably the last person who should have fate in his hands right now, seeing as he had completely given up.

"So he did it intentionally?" Jimin asks, running a hand through his hair, his pale tear stained face dampening further with tears. The doctors tilts his head to the side, letting out another sigh. "Well, he couldn't have ingested all of that unknowingly, the amount was taken over a close time frame, most likely within minutes or an hour of each other, and according to what we observed, it was probably a number of pills, so I think it's safer to say he might have done it intentionally." We all know what that means, and the absurdity, and the reality of it all just smacks us in the face.

Truth but with contrast, and we are left wondering why he would want to take his life, why he would want to give up, but at the same time understand the dead ends he might have come to, the challenges we've faced in this game, this twisted game with the universe, and the number of times probably all of us have thought about giving up.